Snowy day commutes

[Anonymous]

I live in the upper mid-west, so snow here should be no big thing. Unfortunately, when it snows, everyone forgets how to drive and the roads inevitably become a nightmare. That said, I know that if it is actively snowing, or has within the past 4-6 hours, my commute is going to take at LEAST an extra 30-45 minutes (no joke). Thus, I build this time into my day to ensure that I show up to work on time (or early so that we can get to school on time). The problem I have been having all winter, so far, is that DB does not seem to do the same thing. Any evening that we have snow and the roads are bad, he is 20-30 minutes late (e.g. my end time is 5pm, last night I didn't get home until 7pm). My question, or just a discussion topic to pose; is it out of line for me to expect him to leave work in time to actually get home close to my end time, or am I asking too much? I know this probably falls under the category of nannies being "flexible", but at what point does it become too much?

[Anonymous]

What specifically do you take issue with? Do you want to leave on time? Are you not getting paid extra? Or do you just want a predictable end time? Depending on what the true issue is, I would approach it differently. If its important for you to leave at your end time, I would sit them down to discuss the frequent tardiness, make clear that you have commitments outside of work, and that you need to leave on time.

If the issue is that you aren't getting paid for the extra time, I would let them know that you understand its hard to get home on time with the winter traffic and that you're happy to stay late when needed. Tell them that you'd like to start keeping a time sheet to make it easier for every to keep track of how many hours you're actually working.

And if you just want a predictable end time, and your DB can't mange to get home before a certain time, talk to them about extending your work day to compensate. That way you're getting paid regularly for the extra time, and can plan your nights around the new predictable end time. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it IS kind of out of line for you to expect him to leave early. I can't tell my patients "I appreciate that you're so ill you need to see a doctor AND are willing to brave the storm to drive out here, but I have to cut my day short to get home to relieve the nanny so you'll have to stay sick longer." I can't leave work early, and maybe your bosses can't either.

That being said, you two should talk about the fact that you're working a longer day. Obviously you need to be paid for staying later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it IS kind of out of line for you to expect him to leave early. I can't tell my patients "I appreciate that you're so ill you need to see a doctor AND are willing to brave the storm to drive out here, but I have to cut my day short to get home to relieve the nanny so you'll have to stay sick longer." I can't leave work early, and maybe your bosses can't either.

That being said, you two should talk about the fact that you're working a longer day. Obviously you need to be paid for staying later.

It is also out of line to expect your nanny to accommodate a longer day without discussing it with her. You can't simply hold her hostage each day until who knows when. Maybe they need to arrange to have a neighbor or sitter come over to relieve the nanny. Maybe mom and dad need to stagger their schedules more to factor in longer commutes, or whatever, but to simply show up whenever you please is NOT okay.

[Anonymous]

It's different to be able to leave our house early to accommodate snow, that's not the same as leaving a job early. Yes you should be compensated for staying late. You should also plan to stay an extra 30 minutes if it's snowing or recently snowed in the last 4-6hrs. I'm sure our bosses would love to leave early and get home earlier.

Unless you have proof he's late because he stopped to build a snowman and go sledding you should not expect him home early or on time "when the roads inevitabley become a nightmare"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's different to be able to leave our house early to accommodate snow, that's not the same as leaving a job early. Yes you should be compensated for staying late. You should also plan to stay an extra 30 minutes if it's snowing or recently snowed in the last 4-6hrs. I'm sure our bosses would love to leave early and get home earlier.

Unless you have proof he's late because he stopped to build a snowman and go sledding you should not expect him home early or on time "when the roads inevitabley become a nightmare"

Why shouldn't I? I have to leave early in order to arrive in the morning on time. Why is it unreasonable for me to expect my bosses to figure the traffic into their evening commute?
Ohh that's right, the nanny double standard that applies to every situation, we need to be accommodating but should not even expect basic courtesies back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's different to be able to leave our house early to accommodate snow, that's not the same as leaving a job early. Yes you should be compensated for staying late. You should also plan to stay an extra 30 minutes if it's snowing or recently snowed in the last 4-6hrs. I'm sure our bosses would love to leave early and get home earlier.

Unless you have proof he's late because he stopped to build a snowman and go sledding you should not expect him home early or on time "when the roads inevitabley become a nightmare"

Why shouldn't I? I have to leave early in order to arrive in the morning on time. Why is it unreasonable for me to expect my bosses to figure the traffic into their evening commute?
Ohh that's right, the nanny double standard that applies to every situation, we need to be accommodating but should not even expect basic courtesies back.

Exactly. You DBs time is obviously more important. You should say something OP. You were hired for a specific schedule and can reasonably expect them to stick to it. His commute issues are not your problem. If you want to be flexible or accommodating go for it, but it SHOULD be a discussion. He shouldn't just show up late whenever it snows, if it snows frequently, and assume its okay with you. I'm sure if you were regularly late when it snows, you'd get an earful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's different to be able to leave our house early to accommodate snow, that's not the same as leaving a job early. Yes you should be compensated for staying late. You should also plan to stay an extra 30 minutes if it's snowing or recently snowed in the last 4-6hrs. I'm sure our bosses would love to leave early and get home earlier.

Unless you have proof he's late because he stopped to build a snowman and go sledding you should not expect him home early or on time "when the roads inevitabley become a nightmare"

Why shouldn't I? I have to leave early in order to arrive in the morning on time. Why is it unreasonable for me to expect my bosses to figure the traffic into their evening commute?
Ohh that's right, the nanny double standard that applies to every situation, we need to be accommodating but should not even expect basic courtesies back.

Egads, it's not a double standard. He needs to be at his job for the full workday and so do you. You are asking him to leave work early. Totally get that his commute impacts you and you should be paid for the time. But it

[Anonymous]

Meant to say, it's not a double standard.

[Anonymous]

Because arriving on time to work is completely different from leaving work early to go home. Your employers need to be at their jobs on time, just like you. Just because it snows doesn't mean they can stop everything they are doing to go home early. Most working adults hire nannies so they don't have worry about daycare pick up policies.

They should be paying you for the additional hours but if they are sitting in traffic trying to get home than you should be a little more flexible unless they are hours late, do it all the time, or are generally disrespectful.

One day you will need a favor or will be late due to uncontrolled circumstances, let's hope they don't have a fit about it.

Now, if you have to be somewhere important then you should have told them in advance you absolutely need to leave on time and they should plan accordingly. But if your just irritated you have to sit in the same traffic they do and arrive home late like do, then it's time to switch careers or move somewhere where the weather doesn't change. I heard San Diego is nice.

[Anonymous]

Okay people;

1) OP lives in the upper Midwest. It snows all the time there, so this is a frequent issue. We aren't talking about the 2 or 3 good snows we get a year here.

2) OPs bosses' commutes are not her issue. Its not her problem to solve. They need to either work something out with OP, or they need to get their asses home on time.

3) Repeat after me: It is not okay to hold my nanny hostage. I need to ask her to stay late, not simply show up when I like. It is not okay to hold my nanny hostage.

4) If the weather and traffic are bad when you're headed home, don't you think its probably worse for your nanny?

5) Get home when you said you'd be home. Your job, your commute, your problem. You have an agreement with your nanny and that is all she owes you. This "flexibility" you all want is one of those above and beyond, deserving of a bonus type things, NOT something you can demand from. Its NOT her job. Her job start and ends at the hours you hired and pay her for.

[Anonymous]

Some nannies do have evening commitments after work, be it classes or whatever. If you want her to be available OT, it's best to ask first and pay oppropriately for that option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because arriving on time to work is completely different from leaving work early to go home. Your employers need to be at their jobs on time, just like you. Just because it snows doesn't mean they can stop everything they are doing to go home early. Most working adults hire nannies so they don't have worry about daycare pick up policies.

They should be paying you for the additional hours but if they are sitting in traffic trying to get home than you should be a little more flexible unless they are hours late, do it all the time, or are generally disrespectful.

One day you will need a favor or will be late due to uncontrolled circumstances, let's hope they don't have a fit about it.

Now, if you have to be somewhere important then you should have told them in advance you absolutely need to leave on time and they should plan accordingly. But if your just irritated you have to sit in the same traffic they do and arrive home late like do, then it's time to switch careers or move somewhere where the weather doesn't change. I heard San Diego is nice.

A nanny shouldn't have to tell her employer she has plans in advance you twit. She doesn't need their permission to make plans, nor does she need permission to leave at her freaking end time. The person who needs to say something in advanced is the person who will be late. Your expectations are so warped its insane.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should be paid for the lateness but if your boss CANT leave work early then you should try to be flexible. The snow wont last forever and i'm sure they'll remember it when Christmas bonus time comes around. Would you rather him rush and slide on the road and die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you should be paid for the lateness but if your boss CANT leave work early then you should try to be flexible. The snow wont last forever and i'm sure they'll remember it when Christmas bonus time comes around. Would you rather him rush and slide on the road and die?

No one said that. If he factored in the extra time he wouldn't have to rush. Is it more important that he finish that last thing at work, only to have the nanny driving in snow and ice, presumably when its darker and colder, and the weather may be worse? And lets stop with the whole "they'll remember at Christmas time" BS. MBs will argue tooth and nail over bonuses and whether they should be expected, given, or whatever, but its certainly a convenient thing to lord over a nanny's head all year so she'll put up with your crap.