Snowy day commutes

[Anonymous]

OP, just talk to him.

My DB is a doctor so obviously he can't leave work early regardless of the weather, and sometimes that means my day is extended. But I can't say it's extended unexpectedly because I can use my eyes to see when it is snowing or otherwise hazardous on the roads and assume that when it is, he'll likely be running late.

What you should say is that you know he can't leave work early but as you're consistently being let off 20+ minutes late, you think your hours should be extended by 30 minutes during the winter season. See what he says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay people;

1) OP lives in the upper Midwest. It snows all the time there, so this is a frequent issue. We aren't talking about the 2 or 3 good snows we get a year here.

2) OPs bosses' commutes are not her issue. Its not her problem to solve. They need to either work something out with OP, or they need to get their asses home on time.

3) Repeat after me: It is not okay to hold my nanny hostage. I need to ask her to stay late, not simply show up when I like. It is not okay to hold my nanny hostage.

4) If the weather and traffic are bad when you're headed home, don't you think its probably worse for your nanny?

5) Get home when you said you'd be home. Your job, your commute, your problem. You have an agreement with your nanny and that is all she owes you. This "flexibility" you all want is one of those above and beyond, deserving of a bonus type things, NOT something you can demand from. Its NOT her job. Her job start and ends at the hours you hired and pay her for.

This is the real issue for me. Snow is nothing new, it happens every year all winter. They are from here and know this and previous to me, they had their son in daycare so I KNOW they were on time for pick-up then. It's usually only one day a week that one of them is late so, of course, we aren't going to adjust my schedule. It's just annoying that I am expected to stay late versus them being expected to leave early.
And to the bonus posters, I am not sacrificing 2 hours of my evening on a regular basis in the hopes that maybe one day I will be "rewarded" for it with a few hundred dollars extra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just talk to him.

My DB is a doctor so obviously he can't leave work early regardless of the weather, and sometimes that means my day is extended. But I can't say it's extended unexpectedly because I can use my eyes to see when it is snowing or otherwise hazardous on the roads and assume that when it is, he'll likely be running late.

What you should say is that you know he can't leave work early but as you're consistently being let off 20+ minutes late, you think your hours should be extended by 30 minutes during the winter season. See what he says.

This is what will have to happen. It just becomes frustrating when issue after issue (involving being slightly taken advantage of), the onus always seems to be on the nanny to initiate the conversation. It would be nice, just for once, if employers could take the initiative and say "You know, my commute is taking quite a bit longer in the snow, lets extend your day by 30 minutes" rather than the nanny having to, essentially, ask to be paid more.

[Anonymous]

I'm from the Midwest and yes we get snow often but it's not every single day.


Op is being a little dramatic and immature

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from the Midwest and yes we get snow often but it's not every single day.


Op is being a little dramatic and immature

I never said every day. Often enough, though, that my employers should be aware that road conditions need to be accounted for in their commute. Not sure how that is either dramatic or immature...nice try though.

[Anonymous]

1) are they paying you properly for the extra time you stay?

2) did they indicate when they hired you that they would sometimes need you to stay late?

3) yes they should absolutely call and let you know they are running late due to road conditions but I agree with PP that if they are generally only late due to snow issues then are you able to check the window to see if it is likely you will need to stay? The flexibility option may have been part if why the switched from daycare.

4) leaving early to get to work on time (which impacts ONLY you and how long you sleep) is simply not the same thing as leaving work early. It is just not. How you cannot see that is beyond me.

5) if you are opposed to staying late in snow conditions even if paid for the time then you may just not be a good fit for this family. I am home on time 95 % of the time but I realize there are many families that employ a nanny primarily because they do need to be able to be home late sometimes.

[Anonymous]

I'm from Chicago, OP is ridiculous. Do this family a favor and quit. You're completely OTT unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

This is the wrong position for you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) are they paying you properly for the extra time you stay?

2) did they indicate when they hired you that they would sometimes need you to stay late?

3) yes they should absolutely call and let you know they are running late due to road conditions but I agree with PP that if they are generally only late due to snow issues then are you able to check the window to see if it is likely you will need to stay? The flexibility option may have been part if why the switched from daycare.

4) leaving early to get to work on time (which impacts ONLY you and how long you sleep) is simply not the same thing as leaving work early. It is just not. How you cannot see that is beyond me.

5) if you are opposed to staying late in snow conditions even if paid for the time then you may just not be a good fit for this family. I am home on time 95 % of the time but I realize there are many families that employ a nanny primarily because they do need to be able to be home late sometimes.

This. I realize my situation is not the same for everyone but DH and I are both physicians so we CAN'T leave early if it's snowing. As a PP said, how would you feel if you showed up for your appointment to see the doctor and were told, I'm sorry the doctor can't see you today because she/he has to go home early to relieve the nanny. I have a nanny for many reasons but the flexibility is definitely a part of it. 90% of the time I make it home on time but there are occasions where I'm not. Obviously I pay my nanny for that time and she was aware when I hired her that there may be times I have an emergency and would be late getting home. I appreciate her flexibility and in turn try to be accommodating when she needs me to be. Maybe I'm just lucky but I've had several nannies over the years and every one of them has been totally flexible and respectful of my schedule even though it can mean some unpredictability for them.

The best employer/employee relationships are based on mutual respect. OP, obviously I don't know what your employers are like aside from this one issue but if they are otherwise good employers and you like your job, I think you need to let this go. At least from my experience it has not been difficult at all to find a flexible nanny. Obviously if they are not respectful of you and your time in other ways as well then maybe this isn't the right job for you and I don't think anyone would blame you for wanting to leave.