focus more on money than my child...advice, please
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Anonymous
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So, our new nanny canceled the other day. Turns out, she was offered a one-day temp job that paid $5 more an hour than what we pay her. Because she canceled, I wasn't able to work that day.
She came highly recommended from a friend who employed her for the full previous year and seems like a very kind person, but she is so focused on money that it makes me uncomfortable. She was scheduled to leave the other day at 3PM. At 2:59 she was at my office door, the second it turned 3 she announced it, waited a moment for me to come out, and then headed promptly for the door. I asked her how the day went as I was walking her to the door, and she replied along the lines of "Fine. So, are you going to send a check each time or...?" I understand the need for money and the need to be on time to your next [whatever]. I've been short on both cash and time -- especially when I was her age, early 20s, just out of college. But this just sparks something in me... I'd like her to express some actual interest in being with my child, give feedback about his day, etc., rather than just "watching him" for cash. Any thoughts? Are my expectations too high? How would you broach this subject with someone? Should I just hire someone else? ...my head is spinning and this is our first regular nanny experience, so any positive advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance. |
Anonymous
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I would sit her down and hammer out all of the business end details, and write it out in a contract that you both sign. It doesn't seem like she is clear on how her check will be handled, when she gets paid etc., and it may be making her uneasy. One all of that is laid out, the topic of money shouldnt come up again until raise time.
Also, if you would like to set aside time to go over the details of the day with her, that *should* in theory happen when she is still on duty. She should be understanding of the fact that it may not always happen, and she may leave 5 minutes late on occasion, but no nanny appreciates a boss that walks in right at her end time then holds her to talk for another 15 minutes every day. It sounds like your nanny is hypersensitive to some of these issues, and she may have been burned in the past. What you're seeing could be her trying to set up expectations early, or you may find that this is just how she is and she may not be the right fit for you. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| I assume you have set guaranteed hours for her. But of you do and she left you hanging for a different gig I would fire her. If you don't we'll then this is what can happen. |
Anonymous
| I would fire her based on the last minute cancellation to take another, higher paying job. It doesn't matter whether she is a nanny with guaranteed hours or a regular sitter. She was booked to work for you on a given day and bailed without legitimate reason. The kind of person who thinks that is acceptable behavior will burn you over and over. |
Anonymous
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Agree with PP above - I'd have fired her if she committed to be there for me and then canceled last minute.
Re: not telling you how the day went - if you want her to stay until 3pm and tell you about the day then you need to come out at 2:55 so you have five minutes to hear about it. She may have another obligation five blocks away starting at 3:15 for all you know. And you should have told her how frequently she's getting paid and how she will be receiving her payment. |
Anonymous
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The cancellation would really bother me.
That being said, if my boss walked in at 3 when I'm supposed to finish at 3, I would not want to sit there for 15 minutes to discuss the day. If you want to hear about the day, do so during the nanny's paid time. Flip the situation: If her start time is 8am, would you want her to pull in the driveway precisely at 8am, then come in, put her stuff down, etc. and not begin officially until 8.15? |
Anonymous
| OP how do you know she took a temp job for the day? |
Anonymous
| She's looking for a better paying FT job so she can better herself. Isn't that what poor people are supposed to do? If she was your niece, you'd applaud her for getting ahead in her career. |
Anonymous
Looking for an opportunity that better meets ones needs is admirable. Doing it during hours in which you've already committed to working for someone else is not. I am not OP, but would not condone and certainly would not applaud such behavior from my niece, daughter or anyone else. |
Anonymous
Poor people do, and should do what they need to do to stay off of social services, don't you think? Did she break any laws? No. She inconvenienced her employer. You've probably done that a few times in your life. Unless of course you are getting paid a bit more than this nanny. You see, wages commensurate with responsibility. You know that, don't you? Aka: You get what you pay for. Duh. |
Anonymous
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First, what your nanny did regarding canceling on you and taking the temp job is grounds for termination in my book. If I did that to my employer I'd be fired the second she found out. It's incredibly disrespectful regardless of the reasoning behind it.
Now, the disparity between what you pay and the temp job she took. A $5/hr difference is huge in terms of nanny wages. It makes me think that you're either paying on the low end or the temp job was paying on the high end (assuming you're paying a mid-range wage). I get why she was tempted, but it was still wrong of her to do that. Like another PP said, if her schedule end time is 3pm and you want her to provide you with more than "fine" when asked about the day you'll need to end your workday shortly before 3 to allow for that exchange to take place. Some nannies don't mind staying a couple extra minutes to give a run-down of the day. Your nanny is clearly not one of them. So you're left with exiting your office around 2:50-2:55pm or extending her paid work day until 3:10-3:15. My MB works from home and typically finishes up at 5pm. I am scheduled until 5:15pm to allow for transition time. On Fridays she ends at 4pm (sometimes a few minutes before) and that is my scheduled end time. I usually end up staying until about 4:10-4:15pm unpaid, but it typically evens out b/c there are days I leave early or come late on a regular basis. Your nanny doesn't sound like she's willing to provide this flexibility. It sounds like it's time to clear up some basic things such as pay schedule. Either she disregarded what you had told her in the interview or upon hire or it was never clearly communicated as to when and how she gets paid. It also sounds like she might need to be told what your expectations are when you ask about your child's day. Her former employer might not have needed/wanted details. You do so tell her that. |
Anonymous
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If you want to hear about your child's day, you ask about your child's day BEFORE the nanny's day is done. What entitles you to free services at your whim?
Hello, you get what you pay for. No more. If you think you're entitled to free services, you can march down to the welfare office, just like everyone else needing free services. What's the matter with you? Is there even a contract here? If not, what do you expect? |
Anonymous
| Nanny here- Cancelling on you was not okay and unprofessional. However, if you want an update on the day and to 'chat' with nanny, perhaps you should leave your office and go speak to the nanny before 3pm. Are you going to pay her extra beyond 3pm to chat? If not, you need to respect her time and come see her before 3pm. |
Anonymous
| How do you even know she took a temp job? |
Anonymous
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OP has no right to demand that the nanny work OT when she has other plans after her job is done.
This is abusive behavior on your part, OP. Apologize to her. |