Nanny with binge eating disorder

[Anonymous]

I've been diagnosed with a newly recognized eating disorder known as binge eating disorder. Meaning I eat normal portions most of the time and then when I have a bad day, am dealing with a tough situation, or any other random trigger I can eat well above your normal meal or snack. I will consume hundreds of calories in one sitting usually under an hour, and then shortly after will be depressed on through to the next day when I will swear this cannot happen again. It always does though. I've dieted, lost weight, gained it back, gone to drastic measures after a binge (purging, using laxatives/water pills, exercising, or severely restricting calories the next day). Althoigh those things do not happen regularly, the binges do, probably 1-2 every week.
At this time I'm slightly overweight but not obese (although I have been). I see a counselor and go to meetings for support and am slowly but surely getting my disorder under control. I've been with the family I work for for over 3 years. Love everything about them, and we have a great relationship. We hang out all the time outside of working hours and they're like family/I am like family to them (they've said this many times).

Anyway I'm feeling like I want to fess up to mb about this. She's seen me gain and loss weight, restrict my
Calories and exercise like crazy but no lose any weight, she probably thinks I am nuts!!!! But I really want her to know the truth. I trust her but I wonder what her reaction might be. FWIW, I've never shown any actual Symptoms in front of them or the kids, and I'm not sure if they would ever suspect it, but like I said I'm friends with MB (words from her own mouth) and feel like I need to tell these people who I spend a lot of time with.

MBs would you be freaked out by this? Anyone else by chance struggle with an ED and have told their boss?

[Anonymous]

It's none of they're business. None

[Anonymous]

^ their

[Anonymous]

What does your counselor say about your telling them?

[Anonymous]

I don't care how much my boss says we're friends or like family (in any field), we're not family and they're still my employer and this is not the kind of information I would share with them unless it was absolutely necessary. If you don't exhibit disordered eating in front of the kids, I wouldn't tell.

Good for you for seeing treatment, and good luck in your recovery.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB. You don't want to give me reason to question your mental health, your ability to do your job, your emotional stability etc...

I don't care how close you are (and maybe you're too close already) I don't think it's a good idea to share this fully with your boss.

[Anonymous]

Please don't tell your MB about your eating disorder. No matter how close you feel, you are going to open up the floor to having no private life and they will constantly be watching you like a hawk. It's no ones business but yours.

-A nanny who was anorexic for 20+ years and never once disclosed my ED to any of the families I've worked for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your counselor say about your telling them?

Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your counselor say about your telling them?

Op?

I'm not OP but MY GOD you're annoying. Your hounding OP's with that stupid "OP?" Follow up is so ridiculous. You've done it on multiple threads now, stop showing everyone how stupid you are

[Anonymous]

No, once you cross that bridge you can't go back. If you're making healthy choices now and are in treatment, there's no need. If MB asked, then it's up to you to decide. But those kinds of personal things you tell your friends and family, not your boss.

What is the point of telling her anyways? If she self-discloses personal information to you about her mental health, then I'd say that's different but if not, then don't. It's not something to be ashamed of, it's just that you never know how prejudiced someone can be.

[Anonymous]

You need to think long and hard about whether or not you should be taking care of children when you can't even take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm an MB and it wouldn't bother me if you were my nanny. Your ED doesn't affect the way you care for my children and I'd be happy you felt comfortable sharing this with me. But I guess not every MB feels that way given the PPs. You know your relationship with your MB better than any of us so I really think only you can make that decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to think long and hard about whether or not you should be taking care of children when you can't even take care of yourself.

That's such an ignorant comment. Show some compassion. The OP is in therapy and getting treatment. It's not like she's shooting up heroin.

[Anonymous]

Why would you tell her? That tells me you don't have the greatest boundaries and probably need to work on that. It isn't her role to be your personal support for your eating disorder, or to feel bad for you or whatever you are hoping to gain from telling her. She doesn't need to know this as your employer. She may be friendly and trustworthy and you may get a long great but she isn't your confidant or your 'true' friend. She pays you, she evaluates your performance, she determines your value to her household, she sets the expectations for our role and responsibilities...these are not things that friends do - these are things that employers do.

Maybe she does disclose her own personal issues to you and consider you a friend and a close confidant. If so then she has poor boundaries and you need to be the one that maintains professional boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for all the responses. I guess I still have a lot to think about. While I truly believe she would show me nothing but compassion, I understand how she may feel I need to be under microscope now. She does disclose personal information to me as I do her. It's just how we've worked it out. We are friends. I am the guardian of her children should something happen, they invite me out and about for day trips, vacations, etc. all things for me to do when I'm not working, unpaid, things I actually enjoy and am able to enjoy because I have that sort of relationship with this family. I'm sorry that some of you see it as wrong, but I wouldn't change that aspect of my relationship with their family for anything else in the world!

As far as my reasons go, I guess I feel like I am hiding/lying about a big part of my life to them. My road to recovery hadn't begun when I started working for them, but now it's a big part of my life. I'm not looking for a shoulder to cry on, them to feel bad for me, etc. I just feel like things would be easier if they knew..I wouldn't have to make up other excuses for my evening plans or when I (rarely) have to come in late/leave early for an appt I wouldn't have to lie then either. I just feel like I'm being dishonest is all.

I really appreciate all the responses though, it definitely has me thinking I will have to just continue to silence it.