Nanny "lost control" with me, now I'm worried about her around my children.
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Anonymous
| I've had my nanny for about 18 months. We've had minimal problems with her, and overall she has worked well for us. Today has been a very bad day for us all. Two of my children are sick, as well as my husband. I called her in early, she is very flexible and agreed to the new schedule for the day. I was with her in the early part of the day, but had an appointment in the evening. It was hectic, and I ended up being late. So I was not in the best of moods when I arrived home. I guess I came across poorly, because out of nowhere I asked her a question and she snaps, "I cleaned up your children's puke all day and you are going to treat me like shit?" I was shocked, and she was too. She immediately apologized, and said she was tired and started crying. I feel bad, because I know she's young and may not yet be mature enough to be able to handle her emotions and her mouth. I said it was fine, I've snapped at people as well, but NEVER my boss. I was just going to let it slide, since it was obvious she didn't mean it HOWEVER it got me thinking... She has shown not only shown me a lack of respect, but also that she doesn't not have a very good handle on her emotions. I fear she may lose control with my children, and I don't just mean verbally. I saw a new side of her, and it makes me second guess who I leave my children with when I'm at work. I may be overanalyzing the situation, but I'm still a bit flabbergasted. It may just have been a bad day all around and something I need to just let go. You know how mothers are though, I guess my "Mama Bear" instincts are just in hyper drive. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
|
Tough one!
I would say she had a hard day!! Which would make sense! I would be so embarrassed if that was me! I would give her a second chance however! If this were me, I would appoligoze again in an email if I were her! Keep an eye on it maybe she needs a day off! |
Anonymous
| I would chalk it up to a very bad day. We are only getting your side of things, but even you admit you weren't in the best of moods. It sounds like you were both grumpy after a really bad day, and while you are the boss, she's human just like you. Everyone snaps sometimes and I don't think that was the worst thing she could have said. If we "fired" everyone parent that lost control of their emotions at some point, no one would have their kids. As far as what to do about it, have a sit down tomorrow. Apologize for your behavior. Let her know you appreciate her help yesterday. Then tell her that its not okay for her to lose control like that, with you or the children, and that the next time will be the last time. |
Anonymous
| Well her behavior was totally inappropriate and unprofessional but you admit that you had a bad day and didnt treat her well so you may have pushed her over the edge. You can't expect to see professionalism if you don't show it |
Anonymous
| It's the Tall Tale Troll, people. |
Anonymous
+1 your behavior is what would drive my answer. If this was completely unprovoked by you (you just walked through the door from being at work all day and she was lashing out because of her day with the kids), I would fire her. I have never seen anyone snap at work only do it once and I have worked in some high stress jobs. If your behavior brought her stress up to a higher level, I would give her another chance. Only you were there, so only you know. I'd be more concerned with the fact that you are admitting to hiring a person who may not be mature enough to handle her emotions. If there is one thing you should require of your nanny, it is patience. Are there other episodes that lead you to say this? |
Anonymous
| Your children may get beaten this afternoon so you had best fire her immediately. What are you waiting for? |
Anonymous
| STUPID PEOPLE!!! |
Anonymous
That's an overreaction |
Anonymous
|
Did you walk in and comment that it smells like puke, or that you're surprised the trash wasn't taken out or the kitchen was messy? Not meaning to blame her but just more as an observation? If so, I understand her.
I have the biggest dirty mouth ever, and I am quick to become enraged, yet also have TONS of patience with kids. So if once in 18 months this happened, and she was horrified by herself, I think you're fine. It was a stressful day, and she took out her stress on you. That's all. Let it go and move on. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
|
I think for her to snap and tell you that, you need to look a bit into your own behavior that obviously made her feel like she was truly being treated like shit. While I don't agree with using the shit word or cussing while speaking to a boss and yes, she could've expressed herself in a more eloquent and elegant way, bottom line is, she was feeling like she was being treated poorly, specialy after what must have been a tough day for all of you, and she stood up for herself. If she had said "I believe you are treating me poorly and not giving me enough credit for everything that I did and took care during this miserable day". Would you have been more susceptible into looking into your own behavior? Maybe you didn't mean it but if you were rude to her then I think YOU owe her an apology.
And the snaping has nothing to do with the care that she is able to provide. To relate both is a big stretch, it is not like she is a firecracker that argues you down once a week! So don't make it more than what it is. If she said sorry, maybe you can say sorry too and then move on. On the grand scheme of things, you have no idea how little your nanny problem really is. |
Anonymous
+1 This is exactly what I think may have happened. Sounds like a long day and she was just ready for it to be over. She probably snapped at you because she couldn't snap at the kids. I would hope she would apologize again but overall I would let it go. |
Anonymous
| I agree with most of the previous posts. No one has yet asked, why did you not stay home with your vomiting children? For a high pay career nanny, that would be expected, but not a young person in the childcare business while she's in school. My guess is that she doesn't make enough to have been put in that position. Then you ask her to come in early and are running late at the end of the day! These children were your responsibility and you made a serious judgement error. You said you had her come in early, but you were there most of the morning. Why not have her come in later than normal if you feel you really needed to leave your children at all? And yes, paying her for a full day as it is WELL deserved! Ending her long, rough day you said you came home late and cranky. You need to give her a bonus and apologize. You also need to reiterate that it is not okay to speak that way to you or anyone else in the house. As far as her losing control with your children, I do not think you have anything to worry about. I have far more patience with children than I do adults as adults should already know right from wrong and how to treat people. I think you both made an error, though it appears that yours was larger. |
Anonymous
| If this were a true story then I would say you are an effing bitch but as toy are Too Tall troll, wait a minute, you are still an EB. |