Boss blindsided by my leave

[Anonymous]

I have recently been offered a job which I believe will be a wonderful fit for me, and is a lifesaver. I currently work for a family, who I have been with for almost a year. In that time, the family moved and my commute became longer. To entice me to stay they offered gas compensation. Having to remind them to reimburse me became habitual. On top of that because they live further from places, I'm limited on where to take the kids-only allowed to drive 3 miles if that. I'm tired and I can not fathom speaking up and seeing change. If they gave a damn, they would have complied to begin with. I started looking for a new job a month ago, and things went well with a new family, I even signed the contract and started to work for them last week, when I took my vacation time. The new family is going on vacation for two weeks this week, and next, so when they return I am expected there. I plan on quitting the days before I am scheduled to work with nnew family, so I don't miss a pay. I know the honorable thing to do, would be to give weeks notice, but I just don't believe they would work with me. If anything, they'd find care ASAP and ditch me. So, I'm pulling a fast one, blindsiding them with leaving. I'm not too worried, starting grad school soon, so if this new job does not out, I can slowly find another job. Nannies, have you ever blinded sided your employers with quitting, or vice versa-were blindsided by a termination? I think this is the best decision for me, I do have to look out for myself after all.

[Anonymous]

You are completely right. GL to you.

[Anonymous]

Sure, this sounds like the best decision for you in the short term.

It also sounds short sighted, unprofessional, and nasty.

If you did this with me you'd need to be pretty certain you never wanted a reference. I can respect you finding another job and giving appropriate notice. I don't respect you handling in the way you frame.

Of course you have to look out for yourself, but you have to live with yourself also. I've been blindsided w/ a termination and it's rotten. I would only blindside my nanny if she stole, harmed my child (or put them in danger), or betrayed our trust is some deep/significant way.

Even though it seems clear that nannying won't be a long-term profession for you, it is your profession now and the ethics you are demonstrating will be as questionable in your future employment, regardless of what the profession is, as they are in how you are handling these jobs now.

But maybe you're just one of our trolls looking for entertainment and I've responded like Pavlov's dog. I'd actually prefer that to wondering what poor families are employing you in good faith.

[Anonymous]

The right thing to do would be to give them at least 2 weeks notice, however I've been personally burned by giving too much notice and being screwed. Just look at the recent thread from an MB who got a months notice and now wants to drop her nanny before the notice is over and other MBs siding with her saying they couldn't "stomach" paying severance through the end of the notice period. You have to look out for yourself in this industry because your employers won't and there aren't any laws to make them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, this sounds like the best decision for you in the short term.

It also sounds short sighted, unprofessional, and nasty.

If you did this with me you'd need to be pretty certain you never wanted a reference. I can respect you finding another job and giving appropriate notice. I don't respect you handling in the way you frame.

Of course you have to look out for yourself, but you have to live with yourself also. I've been blindsided w/ a termination and it's rotten. I would only blindside my nanny if she stole, harmed my child (or put them in danger), or betrayed our trust is some deep/significant way.

Even though it seems clear that nannying won't be a long-term profession for you, it is your profession now and the ethics you are demonstrating will be as questionable in your future employment, regardless of what the profession is, as they are in how you are handling these jobs now.

But maybe you're just one of our trolls looking for entertainment and I've responded like Pavlov's dog. I'd actually prefer that to wondering what poor families are employing you in good faith.

Honestly, it seems from what OP wrote, that the family could not hold up their end off the bargain. I think surprising them with quitting is a good lesson for them to learn from, that if you screw up the wrong person, they will screw you. Idoubt they're unfortunate-inconsiderate yes, unfortunate no.

[Anonymous]

I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

[Anonymous]

Well...our situation was much different.

We are the MB/DB and felt that we were very generous and kind to our nanny. When she let us know that she wanted to take a vacation to visit her husband's family (in a far and distant land) coincided with a business trip that our entire family was going on...we eagerly agreed. We asked her to take all the time she wanted...begged her actually, to take more time...because we knew the trip was long, and expensive, and knew that once they got there they may want to stay longer...but she said no, that she couldn't be away for that long, and she needed the income.

We arranged for temporary child care for the time she was going to be gone, went through all the hassle of taxes etc. for a new nanny...had the nanny live with us, because it was more convenient, blah...blah...blah...it was a HUGE effort.

She called the night she was supposed to have returned...she was staying an extra week, and could we be flexible and allow her to stay?

She was fired on the spot.

We were in turmoil...I had to head off the next morning for another business trip...my husband had to stay home with the kids and find another nanny. But honestly, it was worth the chaos.

She has not worked since...and she has never asked for a reference. Maybe good for her...maybe she got her Associates degree because she had the extra free time...I don't know.

BUT, in our area, it would have definitely been helpful if she had made sure she retained our letter of recommendation. Bad reps and news travels fast in our town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well...our situation was much different.

We are the MB/DB and felt that we were very generous and kind to our nanny. When she let us know that she wanted to take a vacation to visit her husband's family (in a far and distant land) coincided with a business trip that our entire family was going on...we eagerly agreed. We asked her to take all the time she wanted...begged her actually, to take more time...because we knew the trip was long, and expensive, and knew that once they got there they may want to stay longer...but she said no, that she couldn't be away for that long, and she needed the income.

We arranged for temporary child care for the time she was going to be gone, went through all the hassle of taxes etc. for a new nanny...had the nanny live with us, because it was more convenient, blah...blah...blah...it was a HUGE effort.

She called the night she was supposed to have returned...she was staying an extra week, and could we be flexible and allow her to stay?

She was fired on the spot.

We were in turmoil...I had to head off the next morning for another business trip...my husband had to stay home with the kids and find another nanny. But honestly, it was worth the chaos.

She has not worked since...and she has never asked for a reference. Maybe good for her...maybe she got her Associates degree because she had the extra free time...I don't know.

BUT, in our area, it would have definitely been helpful if she had made sure she retained our letter of recommendation. Bad reps and news travels fast in our town.

Her request/timing was immature and unprofessional. But you fired her on the spot?? After you basically told her before going to take as much time as she likes? You're exactly the kind of MB every nanny is wary of and exactly why we quit with as little notice as possible if there is even an inkling that our MB is like you. Thanks for posting! Now we can all stop pretending these MBs are simply a figment of nannies' imaginations.

[Anonymous]

Not only are you screwing the parents, you are affecting the kids as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not only are you screwing the parents, you are affecting the kids as well.

The children are affected everytime they get a new nanny. I wish some more parents cared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well...our situation was much different.

We are the MB/DB and felt that we were very generous and kind to our nanny. When she let us know that she wanted to take a vacation to visit her husband's family (in a far and distant land) coincided with a business trip that our entire family was going on...we eagerly agreed. We asked her to take all the time she wanted...begged her actually, to take more time...because we knew the trip was long, and expensive, and knew that once they got there they may want to stay longer...but she said no, that she couldn't be away for that long, and she needed the income.

We arranged for temporary child care for the time she was going to be gone, went through all the hassle of taxes etc. for a new nanny...had the nanny live with us, because it was more convenient, blah...blah...blah...it was a HUGE effort.

She called the night she was supposed to have returned...she was staying an extra week, and could we be flexible and allow her to stay?

She was fired on the spot.

We were in turmoil...I had to head off the next morning for another business trip...my husband had to stay home with the kids and find another nanny. But honestly, it was worth the chaos.

She has not worked since...and she has never asked for a reference. Maybe good for her...maybe she got her Associates degree because she had the extra free time...I don't know.

BUT, in our area, it would have definitely been helpful if she had made sure she retained our letter of recommendation. Bad reps and news travels fast in our town.

Her request/timing was immature and unprofessional. But you fired her on the spot?? After you basically told her before going to take as much time as she likes? You're exactly the kind of MB every nanny is wary of and exactly why we quit with as little notice as possible if there is even an inkling that our MB is like you. Thanks for posting! Now we can all stop pretending these MBs are simply a figment of nannies' imaginations.

+1

You fired her on the spot for the poor judgment she showed in waiting until the last minute to take you up on your offer to stay longer? Beyond that, you wouldn't give her a reference because of it?!? Terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

You're joking right? MBs seem to think there are no consequences to their actions. If you are inflexible with your nanny, she will not be flexible with you. If you are inconsiderate, expect to reap what you sow.

[Anonymous]

OP, show a little empathy and put yourself in their shoes. You quit with no notice and you leave them scrambling to find a replacement at the last minute. Which means they have to miss work, miss deadlines, etc to find childcare for their kids.

Karma my dear...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

The only one behaving shitty here was MB. It's people like you, who think this MB's behavior was justified, that create situations where nannies have to quit last minute. Respect, flexibility and understanding go both ways. I know we are just "the help" but we care for your children and deserve much better than we often get. Making her stay 15 minutes so she couldn't go to an interview...that's shitty.