Boss blindsided by my leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well...our situation was much different.

We are the MB/DB and felt that we were very generous and kind to our nanny. When she let us know that she wanted to take a vacation to visit her husband's family (in a far and distant land) coincided with a business trip that our entire family was going on...we eagerly agreed. We asked her to take all the time she wanted...begged her actually, to take more time...because we knew the trip was long, and expensive, and knew that once they got there they may want to stay longer...but she said no, that she couldn't be away for that long, and she needed the income.

We arranged for temporary child care for the time she was going to be gone, went through all the hassle of taxes etc. for a new nanny...had the nanny live with us, because it was more convenient, blah...blah...blah...it was a HUGE effort.

She called the night she was supposed to have returned...she was staying an extra week, and could we be flexible and allow her to stay?

She was fired on the spot.

We were in turmoil...I had to head off the next morning for another business trip...my husband had to stay home with the kids and find another nanny. But honestly, it was worth the chaos.

She has not worked since...and she has never asked for a reference. Maybe good for her...maybe she got her Associates degree because she had the extra free time...I don't know.

BUT, in our area, it would have definitely been helpful if she had made sure she retained our letter of recommendation. Bad reps and news travels fast in our town.

Wait. So you to,d her to take her time, and encouraged it. But be sure she waited until the last second to de decided she indeed wanted to take more time, you fired her? I'm not going to bash you. I just want to know why you did this, if you encouraged her to take more time to begin with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

The only one behaving shitty here was MB. It's people like you, who think this MB's behavior was justified, that create situations where nannies have to quit last minute. Respect, flexibility and understanding go both ways. I know we are just "the help" but we care for your children and deserve much better than we often get. Making her stay 15 minutes so she couldn't go to an interview...that's shitty.

Leaving a family high and dry without childcare for one week? That's shitty, yes.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is unprofessional. Even at the worst nanny job I've had, I gave 2 weeks notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

The only one behaving shitty here was MB. It's people like you, who think this MB's behavior was justified, that create situations where nannies have to quit last minute. Respect, flexibility and understanding go both ways. I know we are just "the help" but we care for your children and deserve much better than we often get. Making her stay 15 minutes so she couldn't go to an interview...that's shitty.

Leaving a family high and dry without childcare for one week? That's shitty, yes.

So nannies are supposed to be considerate of the families that they work for, but we can't expect the same in return? Pretty sure this isn't how it's supposed to work. This nanny's first responsibility was to herself (making sure she was employed) not looking out for a family that was, essentially, screwing her over.

[Anonymous]

MB here -- we just signed a contract with a new nanny and we put in a clause protecting her and us. Says:

Assuming an amicable departure, we ask that you not leave before that date unless we have found alternate care; correspondingly, we will not replace you before that date unless you have already found alternate employment.

I know contracts aren't guaranteed, but hopefully it makes her feel comfortable enough to not leave us high and dry. And we'd never do that to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not only are you screwing the parents, you are affecting the kids as well.

The children are affected everytime they get a new nanny. I wish some more parents cared.

No. There is a big difference between a nanny blindsiding a family and disappearing from her charges' lives under circumstances where the child will sense that the parents feel betrayed and angry, and a nanny giving proper notice so the kids get a chance to adjust to the departure and say a proper farewell. The OP's mentality, and that of her supporters on here, is exactly why so many parents on this board have so little respect for so many of the nannies on here. You want to be treated like professionals? Stop acting like low-class hustlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, this sounds like the best decision for you in the short term.

It also sounds short sighted, unprofessional, and nasty.

If you did this with me you'd need to be pretty certain you never wanted a reference. I can respect you finding another job and giving appropriate notice. I don't respect you handling in the way you frame.

Of course you have to look out for yourself, but you have to live with yourself also. I've been blindsided w/ a termination and it's rotten. I would only blindside my nanny if she stole, harmed my child (or put them in danger), or betrayed our trust is some deep/significant way.

Even though it seems clear that nannying won't be a long-term profession for you, it is your profession now and the ethics you are demonstrating will be as questionable in your future employment, regardless of what the profession is, as they are in how you are handling these jobs now.

But maybe you're just one of our trolls looking for entertainment and I've responded like Pavlov's dog. I'd actually prefer that to wondering what poor families are employing you in good faith.

Honestly, it seems from what OP wrote, that the family could not hold up their end off the bargain. I think surprising them with quitting is a good lesson for them to learn from, that if you screw up the wrong person, they will screw you. Idoubt they're unfortunate-inconsiderate yes, unfortunate no.

Funny, the only negative about parents in the original post is that the nanny has to remind the parents to reimburse her gas. Presumably, the amount due varies based on how much driving the nanny does, so why shouldn't the nanny be expected to "bill" and her MB from time to time and perhaps even remind them? The parents are busy and human, and it isn't as though they're forgetting to pay her salary. In fact, from what OP says, she does very little driving so the amount at stake is probably a few dollars a month. And the fact that the family offered to pay her travel costs after they moved shows that they are, in fact, considerate or her needs. The OP is being selfish and trying to justify her actions.

OP, not sure what kind of graduate program you are entering, but if there is any kind of licensing process at the end, or security clearance related to employment, you may be required to submit to a character assessment that requires you to get reference letters from all the employers you've had for the past decade or more. I did. I hope this employer shows as little regard for you and your future as you plan to show for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

You're joking right? MBs seem to think there are no consequences to their actions. If you are inflexible with your nanny, she will not be flexible with you. If you are inconsiderate, expect to reap what you sow.

I agree, you must be joking. They had no right to be angry with her interviewing for positions when they decided to move to a new city 3 hours away and had already given her 2 weeks notice! She asked to leave 15 MINUTES early one day (not even a whole hour!) for an interview. She wouldn't have had to be looking for anything if they had stuck to their original plan of moving CLOSER to her. I think that nanny deserves an award for dealing with such a crappy family in the first place. I hate when families make promises about something that are the reason you take the position, and then fall through with it. In this regards, they actually broke the "contract". They gave 2 weeks notice, when nanny asked for a small favor, family showed true colors, and so nanny then decided not to go in last week. She didn't ask for it to be paid, she didn't demand anything from them. She just left early which she had every right to do (especially since it seems like she would have needed that time to interview for positions anyways). No way was she in the wrong at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

The only one behaving shitty here was MB. It's people like you, who think this MB's behavior was justified, that create situations where nannies have to quit last minute. Respect, flexibility and understanding go both ways. I know we are just "the help" but we care for your children and deserve much better than we often get. Making her stay 15 minutes so she couldn't go to an interview...that's shitty.

Leaving a family high and dry without childcare for one week? That's shitty, yes.

Not nearly as bad as not letting her leave 15 minutes early one day and acting like they own her and wonder why she is interviewing for other positions when they have already let her go. That is at least 10 times worse. It was her intention to stay the whole 2 weeks, but the actions of the family that prompted her to leave early.

[Anonymous]

OP, while you feel like you needed to protect yourself from being let go immediately after telling them you were leaving, you should have given the 2 weeks notice before they went on vacation. It's not the best thing for them as they wouldn't really have time to find someone new, BUT it would mean that you wouldn't be working with the children for the last 2 weeks either. Since it was your vacation, you would have had a chance at being paid still. If not, you were already working a new job and would have had to deal with it if you weren't. Either way, giving notice at that time would have been the right thing to do, even though it STILL would have been crappy timing.

[Anonymous]

PP here again. I honestly don't know how you think they could find other care ASAP and ditch you for the last 2 weeks WHILE they are gone in vacation! How are they supposed to do in person interviews? It would be hard enough for them to find time (while ruining their vacation) to look at ads, send emails and maybe do phone interviews with people. They would still have to meet in person once back home, and then assuming they found someone fairly quickly that they liked, hire her. That could not happen in the first 2 weeks, they wouldn't be able to meet in person until back. So that 2 weeks could have almost guaranteed to you with your vacation pay still. Actually, you could have given notice even later and they would most likely have still needed you for at least that first week back, except that you made it so that your new position start date was exactly after their vacation ended.

That is horrible, as it doesn't look like you just happened to find something else and they were starting that day and would need you then. It looks like you purposely set it up that way (even if you didn't) and shows how devious you are, which is not a good quality, not something people would be looking for in a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, this sounds like the best decision for you in the short term.

It also sounds short sighted, unprofessional, and nasty.

If you did this with me you'd need to be pretty certain you never wanted a reference. I can respect you finding another job and giving appropriate notice. I don't respect you handling in the way you frame.

Of course you have to look out for yourself, but you have to live with yourself also. I've been blindsided w/ a termination and it's rotten. I would only blindside my nanny if she stole, harmed my child (or put them in danger), or betrayed our trust is some deep/significant way.

Even though it seems clear that nannying won't be a long-term profession for you, it is your profession now and the ethics you are demonstrating will be as questionable in your future employment, regardless of what the profession is, as they are in how you are handling these jobs now.

But maybe you're just one of our trolls looking for entertainment and I've responded like Pavlov's dog. I'd actually prefer that to wondering what poor families are employing you in good faith.

Honestly, it seems from what OP wrote, that the family could not hold up their end off the bargain. I think surprising them with quitting is a good lesson for them to learn from, that if you screw up the wrong person, they will screw you. Idoubt they're unfortunate-inconsiderate yes, unfortunate no.

How did the family screw the OP? Sounds like they tried to financially make up the difference and just aren't comfortable with her taking the kids too far from home. I worked for a family that didn't want me driving, and I won't do that again, but that is in no way them screwing me! This is a really shitty way to handle yourself and I cannot believe anyone would condone this behavior. Shitty move OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

-1 You did the right thing and I am happy things worked out well for you!

[Anonymous]

I had a family call me during my work day, with their kids, to let me know they would not need me anymore as they were going to start using family for childcare. I had JUST seen them that morning and they said nothing. They gave me 2 weeks notice, but I found a job sooner and told them on friday that it would be my last day. I wish I would have (been financially able to) tell them to have their family come and take the kids that day and left. How rude to call me to tell me this! I have been MUCH happier with my current position!

[Anonymous]

OP, you are incredibly unprofessional, not to mention selfish and immature.

It's surprising how many nannies on this thread are comfortable with blindsiding the families they work for or not honoring the notice period. Yet, they expect families to pay severance. Truly entitled.