Nannies with own children
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Anonymous
| If you are not allowed to bring your child/ren with you to work, do any of you feel really guilty for spending more waking hours with your charge and not your own children? |
Anonymous
| This feels like a post trying to stir up drama, but I'll answer you anyway. Since my child will be going to daycare two days a week I'd hardly consider that spending "more waking hours with my charges" my fil will take the baby half a day a week and she'll come to work with me my two short hour days. Lots of parents work full time while their kids are in daycare, the fact that I work and spend time with other children doesn't bother me. |
Anonymous
| Mine is in school most of my workday. No guilt. |
Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
OP here- I think the forum is too riddled with bitterness if you read my post and immediately thought I was trying to start drama. Far from it. Anyways your situation is unique because your child comes to work with you two days out of the week (which as you said is a short day to begin with), and a half day that is definitely not what I am referring to. My situation- my child is an infant, I don't think she should be in daycare now because I have heard countless stories of infants just being left to lay on their backs all day. My cousin takes care of her. I used to think the same thing, "well lots of moms work and have a nanny", for example. But recently since she has been sleeping through the night, by the time I get home 7:30-8:00, she is only a wake for an hour maybe two, then off to bed. Then I leave before she wakes and my spouse takes her to our family's home. So yes I spend more waking hours with my charges than my child, and I feel really guilty. (If she spends 50 hrs a week asleep, and I spend 60 hrs/week at work or in commute, that effectively leaves 10 hours in each work week that I can spend with her, +/- 1 hour) |
Anonymous
| Sorry, but I just can't imagine how awful you rich white women feel, asking your nanny to abandon her own child, just for you. It's not like caring for one child (yours), is superior to caring for two children (yours and hers). Do you really think her child might contaminate yours? Why not enhance your child's experience of real life, by welcoming the nanny's child? |
Anonymous
OP here- I don't know if it is about a superiority complex, some yes, others I don't think so. I feel like some MBs have it in their head that if the nanny's child is there, theirs won't get enough nurturing because the nanny will pay attention to their own child more. And as we all know that is far from the truth. The family made it clear, however, that they didn't want the prospective nanny to bring their own children and I accepted that. But now I am feeling very saddened at the lost time with my child. |
Anonymous
| I feel saddened that rich kids get self-centered parents like OP's mb. |
Anonymous
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Welcome to the professional world of work. People aren't allowed to bring their children to work because it is a distraction and a liability. If it magnifies your guilt that you work with children all day, consider a new profession. You're not entitled to bring your child to work.
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Anonymous
Why don't you get another job? |
Anonymous
My intellegent pediatric psychiatrist employer was thrilled for my child to come to work with me. LOL. |
Anonymous
Thank you so much, I had no idea people didn't bring their children to their jobs! Again thanks for the enlightenment. Let me clarify something for you. I did not once say I "should" be able to bring my child with me, as I said I accepted the job knowing fully. I am simply asking about others experiences, and hoping to find how others coped with it. But again thank you so much, you have taught me so much in your short, unnecessary sentence.
I am in a gap year before my professional school, I am not a career nanny, but have significant childcare experience. This profession fits best with my needs, and flexibility to study.
That's wonderful! (^_^) |
Anonymous
My mom was allowed to bring me to work when she worked in the mayor's office. That continued until I was about one and a half and my parents were able to afford her staying home with me. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes. I have two boys, 8 and 4 yrs old. My 8 yr old is in school for most of my work day but the 4 yr old only does a half day of pre k, then has to be in daycare for the rest of the day. I do feel guilty about my youngest having to be there for so long but, he's doing fine with it and I'm slowly adjusting. |
Anonymous
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If you are looking for honestly, I actually would feel guilt leaving my children to be cared for by someone else while I worked with others kids. I personally might take a break from nannying, or do it part time, until your child is in school.
I WOH, but do not nanny, and it's really really tough for me to be away from my child all day. It particularly sucked when she was younger because she slept so much. I felt that all of her best hours were being spent with people other than her parents. But the difference was that I really enjoyed my job, the interaction with adults, and I was doing something completely different. If my job was something I would have essentially done with my child (as I suspect your nannying job is), then I would have probably just stayed home and did these things with my child. Unless you truly need the money, I might reevaluate whether being a nanny is something you want to do at this time. I will probably get flamed, but just my two cents. |