Nanny asked cash advance before start date

[Anonymous]

We found what we think is a terrific nanny.

We don't need her to start until the first of next month.

She asked for a $400 advance because her rent is due next Tuesday and her daughter moved out leaving her to pay the full amount.

She offered to sign a notarized letter stating we paid her in advance and said if we said 'no' she would try to work something else out.

It is not a ton of money and I understand she was left in a tight space AND we do think she is a solid fit.

But am I just being naïve?

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

How will she pay off the advance?
Honestly, I'd hesitate before lending money. And if I were in her shoes, I'd ask to borrow it from others before I asked my employers.

[Anonymous]

She said we could subtract it from her first week's salary because she is receiving a check on the 27th of this month that she was planning to receive this week which will set her straight.

[Anonymous]

Where did you find her??

[Anonymous]

I would not do this and think it is an indication that the nanny is a poor money manager. I have advanced my trusted household employees money in emergency situations after they have worked for me at least a year and required a promissory note. You do not want to get into the position of being a lender. If you do decide to advance her the money, do the promissory note and tell her it is a one-time only thing.

[Anonymous]

I agree w/ the other posters that this is worrisome, and you don't want to set a precedent of advancing monies - it's a slippery slope and if it becomes a habit you'll regret ever allowing it (and almost certainly end up losing some amount of money).

That being said, people can get in tough spots between jobs. So, if you want to do it definitely put it in writing and specify which pay periods the money will be recovered from. Also be sure to be considering taxes when lending/repaying the money. And I totally agree w/ 13:41 - put in writing that this is a one time only event.

But I also think that you could simply say that you're very sorry but you can't advance salary for someone who hasn't even begun employment. If she said she'd try to work something else out then she gave you an "out". Presumably you don't want to go into the relationship with a baseline of the nanny's personal life becoming something you bear any responsibility for. The nanny/boss relationship is already fraught w/ the personal nature of the job, it's very very easy to have that slip into other personal areas (I'm guilty of this) and that will put you in a tough spot at some point. You can always soften your position on things once you have an established relationship and foundation of trust. It is much much harder to tighten the reins later if you find yourself regretting any blurring of the employer/employee boundaries.

Think about what you would do in a formal workplace - would you advance salary to an employee who hasn't started? What if they don't show up on day 1?

Admittedly you're not dealing with thousands of dollars, so perhaps this amount is a small enough amount to be worth losing if she flakes out on you. But if you do it you should be prepared to lose the money (worst case scenario).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree w/ the other posters that this is worrisome, and you don't want to set a precedent of advancing monies - it's a slippery slope and if it becomes a habit you'll regret ever allowing it (and almost certainly end up losing some amount of money).

That being said, people can get in tough spots between jobs. So, if you want to do it definitely put it in writing and specify which pay periods the money will be recovered from. Also be sure to be considering taxes when lending/repaying the money. And I totally agree w/ 13:41 - put in writing that this is a one time only event.

But I also think that you could simply say that you're very sorry but you can't advance salary for someone who hasn't even begun employment. If she said she'd try to work something else out then she gave you an "out". Presumably you don't want to go into the relationship with a baseline of the nanny's personal life becoming something you bear any responsibility for. The nanny/boss relationship is already fraught w/ the personal nature of the job, it's very very easy to have that slip into other personal areas (I'm guilty of this) and that will put you in a tough spot at some point. You can always soften your position on things once you have an established relationship and foundation of trust. It is much much harder to tighten the reins later if you find yourself regretting any blurring of the employer/employee boundaries.

Think about what you would do in a formal workplace - would you advance salary to an employee who hasn't started? What if they don't show up on day 1?

Admittedly you're not dealing with thousands of dollars, so perhaps this amount is a small enough amount to be worth losing if she flakes out on you. But if you do it you should be prepared to lose the money (worst case scenario).

Excellent points, PP. Agree that OP should be prepared to lose the $400.

[Anonymous]

I would chance it if I really loved her, but be prepared to have her quit and lose the money. I would also consider rescinding my job offer unless her recommendations were totally stellar.

I've been burned before with new employees wanting advances, additional days off, etc.. They always say this is an emergency, but it tells you something about how they function that they think this is an appropriate request of someone they barely know. In the case of a housekeeper, the requests escalated to needing help for other family members. I started to feel like she thought of me more as a patron than an employer ...

[Anonymous]

I agree with previous posters. This is a huge red flag and I would rethink hiring this person.

[Anonymous]

She seems completely wonderful otherwise so I feel bad she's in a tight spot. But I do hear what you're saying about becoming a benefactor.

Do you think I should hire her if she's fine with us not being able to do it?

[Anonymous]

You can hire her, but I think you are asking for trouble. In all my years of being a nanny, I never have asked for any sort of advance from my employers, no matter how much I needed money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can hire her, but I think you are asking for trouble. In all my years of being a nanny, I never have asked for any sort of advance from my employers, no matter how much I needed money.

I agree. Shows lack of boundaries and financial instability.

[Anonymous]

Clearly she has financial issues. thus needs an income. Deciding to NOT give a job to someone because they have money issues is sad. The reason she's applying is because she needs the steady incomes.

Seems like she will stick around because she depends on her paychecks.

[Anonymous]

don't hire her. I say this as someone in a bad loan cycle w/ our nanny who we love a lot but is a horrible money manager. Everyone has stuff happen but the issue is that she asked you - someone she is not even yet working for and should be focused on making a good impression on as a professional - for this. She has no other support systems or she likely would not have come to you.

Even if she gets the money elsewhere, do not hire her. It won't be the last time she asks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly she has financial issues. thus needs an income. Deciding to NOT give a job to someone because they have money issues is sad. The reason she's applying is because she needs the steady incomes.

Seems like she will stick around because she depends on her paychecks.

And she will probably share her financial problems with you often so you will feel sorry for her and give her additional financial assistance.