Advice on toddler + twins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No GPs around to help. Just us and nanny. First I've heard that it's "cruel" for a nanny to stay with a family and care for more children as the family grows and ages !

What is cruel is that you plan for the nanny to stay and to send your older child away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to helpful responses. To the career Nannies - input on PT vs FT schools in terms of coordinating pick up and drop off and also stress for toddler? Thanks again

The pro of part-time is that the toddler gets to nap at home in his own bed and be with his beloved nanny in the afternoons. The con is that the time the nanny has all 3 is also the worst time of day for the babies when they will be tired and fussy and demanding. So toddler may not always get much attention.

I don't think pickup/drop off is that big of a deal necessarily but it depends on location. If the school is more than 10 minutes drive and you aren’t okay with the twins consistently having a car nap (I would not want that for their midday nap), then full day is better.

[Anonymous]

I would do FT school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No GPs around to help. Just us and nanny. First I've heard that it's "cruel" for a nanny to stay with a family and care for more children as the family grows and ages !

What is cruel is that you plan for the nanny to stay and to send your older child away.

wtf

[Anonymous]

Why no one mentioned that the toddler is going to be sick half the time, most kids are in their first year at school, then babies will get it and nanny will be watching 3 sick kids. Then the toddler goes back to school, gets sick, repeat. OP ends up paying for school and the nanny for 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Mom of twins and older singleton here, same age spread as OP. Definitely send your son to PK. It will be hard at first and then he will adjust and love it. Your nanny will not be able to give him the time and attention he wants/is used to because caring for twin babies is a FT job. Your son will be bored at home, jealous that he’s not getting his beloved nanny’s attention, and possibly act out. I imagine it would be a stressful environment for you while you WFH. I understand it’s a tough decision from your vantage point but I would be shocked if you end up regretting sending the toddler to preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No GPs around to help. Just us and nanny. First I've heard that it's "cruel" for a nanny to stay with a family and care for more children as the family grows and ages !

What is cruel is that you plan for the nanny to stay and to send your older child away.

If OP is considering boarding school, I would agree with this.

It sounds like OP is considering preschool for some of the hours that the nanny will be working, and that the nanny will still see the child.

I was a SAHM who sent my oldest to preschool shortly after my youngest was born. I would have sent him anyway, that's just how the birthdates worked out.

It wasn't cruel when I did it, and wouldn't be cruel in this case either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of twins and older singleton here, same age spread as OP. Definitely send your son to PK. It will be hard at first and then he will adjust and love it. Your nanny will not be able to give him the time and attention he wants/is used to because caring for twin babies is a FT job. Your son will be bored at home, jealous that he’s not getting his beloved nanny’s attention, and possibly act out. I imagine it would be a stressful environment for you while you WFH. I understand it’s a tough decision from your vantage point but I would be shocked if you end up regretting sending the toddler to preschool.

This x1000

[Anonymous]

I would go for the part-time preschool option as long as the programs are solid and he will be safe/nurtured and be able to play outside, even if they aren't your perfect/ideal preschools. At his age he just needs to be loved, be safe, and have a chance to explore. That will be less expensive. He can do the program from 9-12 or whatever, then come home for lunch and nap. That should be pretty doable, especially if you WFH and are able to handle pick-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of twins and older singleton here, same age spread as OP. Definitely send your son to PK. It will be hard at first and then he will adjust and love it. Your nanny will not be able to give him the time and attention he wants/is used to because caring for twin babies is a FT job. Your son will be bored at home, jealous that he’s not getting his beloved nanny’s attention, and possibly act out. I imagine it would be a stressful environment for you while you WFH. I understand it’s a tough decision from your vantage point but I would be shocked if you end up regretting sending the toddler to preschool.

Would you recc PT or FT or no right answer? Our jobs are such that even though we WFH we can’t be relied upon to be the ones doing pickup every day especially if at 12:15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom of twins and older singleton here, same age spread as OP. Definitely send your son to PK. It will be hard at first and then he will adjust and love it. Your nanny will not be able to give him the time and attention he wants/is used to because caring for twin babies is a FT job. Your son will be bored at home, jealous that he’s not getting his beloved nanny’s attention, and possibly act out. I imagine it would be a stressful environment for you while you WFH. I understand it’s a tough decision from your vantage point but I would be shocked if you end up regretting sending the toddler to preschool.

Would you recc PT or FT or no right answer? Our jobs are such that even though we WFH we can’t be relied upon to be the ones doing pickup every day especially if at 12:15.

I posted this upthread but this depends on the distance of the school. If twin infants are in the car for 30 minutes each way, that will absolutely end up in a regular midday car nap, and midday nap is usually the big one, so I would just go with the full day option. But if the school is down the block, nanny can schedule around it. So figure out the commute and decide from there. It’s a lot cheaper and your older kid is used to napping at home so I think if the nanny can do pickup at the PT school that is what I would opt for, most likely.

[Anonymous]

I have worked with twin newborns & toddler. I think your nanny can definitely handle all three. But do agree toddler should be in morning preschool at least 2 morningsva week. I would have special time with Toddler when twins took morning nap. Take montior & play in yard with toddler. Give her my undivided attention. When twilight needed to be feed I would set up in activities that she enjoyed. Would communicate with her on what she was doing when caring for twins. I would let her help when possible. When changing twins getting them dressed. Letting her pick out the clothes. Just making her feel special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why no one mentioned that the toddler is going to be sick half the time, most kids are in their first year at school, then babies will get it and nanny will be watching 3 sick kids. Then the toddler goes back to school, gets sick, repeat. OP ends up paying for school and the nanny for 3 kids.

I keep reading this but we have not experienced this at all. I have three kids, all three have started group care at various ages between 7 months and 3 yo and none was really sick as you describe. Maybe colds/flu twice a year and an occasional tummy ache once a year but nothing else.

[Anonymous]

PP, were they pre-covid born babies? This year pediatricians were overwhelmed with RSV and complications throughout the nation. The pandemic born babies went to school settings en masse and they seemed to not develop any immunity since many did not have contact with outside world, so lots got sick all the fall and winter

[Anonymous]

You clearly need to step into your role as a mom and make some decisions . Why are you asking “career Nannies” what to do for every little detail of your kids’ lives ? !