I was offended and disappointed by our nanny:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

1. Kids are too loud

They’re kids. Has she been to a playground? Childrens museum? Are your kids feral or something?

2. Kids diet is terrible

The only reason she should care is if it affects her work (ie are they wired from sugar all day? Crashing from carbs?). Why would she care whether they’re eating chicken nuggets versus kale salad for dinner? Are your kids obese?

3. Too strict on technology

No screen time? I could definitely see that as a dealbreaker depending on your situation. But yeah if you’re paying her well and it’s only two kids, she shouldn’t have to plop them down in front of a TV.

4. Kids eat too much ( poopy diapers 3 a day)

Again, are your kids obese? Some kids poop 3x / day, it is what it is.

5. Cry too much and not Discipline

Ok yeah that’s a valid reason to quit.

6. I didn’t sign up for parents to be home all day ( my job gave us a opportunity to work from home)

Seems like this could be worked out but ok

7. Kids are too sickly( cold, diaper rash and etc)

Sounds pretty standard for kids.

To PP, You have not good Judgment as a nanny at all. If you are a Nanny. Even worse, if you are a Parent. Reading No. ""2" . "The only reason she would care". Wow. As a nanny myself, how someone can think and work like this about the kids in her charge. I always care also about the healthy habits for the well being of my Nanny children. I really care about them, and not only because I need the Job. Thankfully, I'm not like you.

[Anonymous]

Sorry not sorry. Your nanny is sharing her thoughts and reasons why she decided to quit, understandable.
No discipline and poor diet in a household with children under 7 it’s terrible, I’m surprised she lasted for a few months. I’m curious to see if she was paid accordingly(below $30 hourly with all the things she endured during her time as a nanny, unfair.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I have two kids under 7 years old. Our kids are very picky eaters and we just feed them what they want and worry about things later. Nanny last day was last Friday. This is our third nanny in five years and she lasted five months. I received a email today from our nanny reasons why she is no longer working for us.

1. Kids are too loud
2. Kids diet is terrible
3. Too strict on technology
4. Kids eat too much ( poopy diapers 3 a day)
5. Cry too much and not Discipline
6. I didn’t sign up for parents to be home all day ( my job gave us a opportunity to work from home)
7. Kids are too sickly( cold, diaper rash and etc)

I was upset when I read it and my husband said, just ignore it and etc.

I actually quit from a family where the mum was kind of crazy and fed the kids non stop including Raisin Bran to ‘clean them out’. Three poops a day. Always interrupting nap time with diaper changes. I would also quit over a poor diet. I started sneaking the kids 2 bananas a day and rice to help stop all the constant poop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I have two kids under 7 years old. Our kids are very picky eaters and we just feed them what they want and worry about things later. Nanny last day was last Friday. This is our third nanny in five years and she lasted five months. I received a email today from our nanny reasons why she is no longer working for us.

1. Kids are too loud

Then the nanny needs to set rules about noise and enforce. Parents need to get on board with that. However, if it's just normal children's noise, nanny is too sensitive.

2. Kids diet is terrible

This would be a sticking point for me. I'll go along with Kids Eat in Color, division of responsibility (adult prepares and puts a healthy balance on the table, child decides what to eat), or any other chance to help the children learn to broaden their palate and eat healthier. If it's solely carbs and fats, no fruits and vegetables, not interested.

3. Too strict on technology

I have no issue with this... If the parents also limit technology.

4. Kids eat too much ( poopy diapers 3 a day)

Kids eating too much is a problem if they're eating crap food and are overweight/not exercising/playing. The number of diapers should not be a problem or a reason to say that the children are eating too much.

5. Cry too much and not Discipline

Are the children more emotionally sensitive? Are they crying when told to do something? Are they crying when they are corrected? Discipline is not punishment, it's required to help the children develop self-discipline. Crying when corrected is fine, crying to try to get out of doing homework, chores or activities is not.

6. I didn’t sign up for parents to be home all day ( my job gave us a opportunity to work from home)

Many nannies don't want to work with parents at home, especially if the parent is in and out of their office/bedroom/workspace and/or micromanages. Many, many nannies put up with it during covid, but now, it should have been a conversation with the nanny so that she should decide to continue or look for a new job (not that you should base whether you are woh or wah on her wishes). A simple conversation may have let you reach a compromise of a month or two to see how if goes, or it would have at least let you know earlier that she wouldn't want to continue, so you could have put off the switch until you found another nanny.

7. Kids are too sickly( cold, diaper rash and etc)

Many nannies don't want to work with sick children because they don't get adequate time (paid) to recuperate when the children make them ill. Many nannies also understand that children who are very sick (flu and worse) will be crotchety for the nanny and just want the parent. Some nannies will work through every illness, but when we agree to that, we also negotiate for good sick leave (I have unlimited).

I was upset when I read it and my husband said, just ignore it and etc.

The sheer fact that you've gone through 3 nannies in 5 years says a lot. Some of the above are major red flags (quality of food!). I'd suggest considering whether you really want a nanny, what you offer, whether your children are special needs or behavior problems (and hire someone competent and experienced, if so), and figure out what you can do to make your family stand out in a good way to a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would the nanny send that email? Was she genuinely trying to give you helpful advice? What a weird thing to do unsolicited.

I would either (1) ignore or (2) write back with all the ways she could improve her own nanny game, since she’s into unsolicited advice.

On the other hand if she wrote down stuff that you should work on, then go for it! There’s no such thing as perfect parents, we are all works in progress. (There’s also no such thing as a perfect nanny… except for the ones posting here, of course)

We're not perfect. On the other hand, we take criticism constantly from the parents and most feel like they can't tell parents anything about what they're doing wrong. It sounds to me like the nanny was simply listing the reasons she quit; I'd bet that there were other things that she and the other two nannies could cite which would be problematic, but they didn't rise to the level of causing her to quit. I'm hoping OP takes the list as what it was: a list of things that make nannies quit. If she wants to retain a nanny, she needs to work on some or all.

[Anonymous]

So sorry this is happening OP.

It’s never great to lose a Nanny - especially w/zero notice.

However you have said that she is your third Nanny in five yrs.
Could you possibly be doing something that is making the position more challenging than other positions??

You may be doing things that you are unaware of that may make your Nannies quit.

There are many reasons why the majority of Nannies do not like working in a home where one or more parent telecommutes.
These situations can work fine if ALL boundaries are respected > mostly on the employer’s side.
It is always best if the parent can work in a separate part of the house, ideally far from where the Nanny + the kids will be.
It is also a good idea if the parent concentrates 100% on their work - and to make rare trips into the area(s) where the Nanny & kids are hanging out.
Bottom line: The Nanny needs to have full autonomy in order to do her best work.

…………………………………….
I think some of your now former Nanny’s complaints are off however.

For example, saying your kids are “loud.”
Kids are loud.
It should automatically come w/the territory in my opinion.
Unless of course your children are particularly rambunctious or have issues being told what to do.

And also that she has to clean three poopy diapers a day??!
Isn’t that what a Nanny signs up for????

Anyway, it doesn’t appear to be a suitable fit so I can only wish you the best in your search for a well-suited Nanny for your family.

Good luck!