Nanny slacking on chores

[Anonymous]

Nannies should only be responsible for cleaning up after children. No house needs to be vacuumed three times a week unless your are slobs in which case, clean up after yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is this post? Our nanny (of 4 years) will apologize profusely to me at the end of the day if she doesn't get a chance to put the kids' lunch dishes in the dishwasher, then she'll stay late to do it. I'm like, you didn't do the dishes because the kids were super high-maintenance today. Go home! I'll do the dishes!

OP, your nanny isn't vacuuming 2-3 times a week anymore because she's trying to establish with you that vacuuming isn't her job. You shouldn't be asking your nanny to vacuum, for goodness sakes.

Not OP but it is her job if she agreed to it when she was hired.

[Anonymous]

The OP has not come back to answer valid questions such as yours so we don't know if the nanny agreed to it. We don't know how many kids, what hours, what was agreed upon, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is this post? Our nanny (of 4 years) will apologize profusely to me at the end of the day if she doesn't get a chance to put the kids' lunch dishes in the dishwasher, then she'll stay late to do it. I'm like, you didn't do the dishes because the kids were super high-maintenance today. Go home! I'll do the dishes!

OP, your nanny isn't vacuuming 2-3 times a week anymore because she's trying to establish with you that vacuuming isn't her job. You shouldn't be asking your nanny to vacuum, for goodness sakes.

Not OP but it is her job if she agreed to it when she was hired.

I agree, to a point. That’s why I asked for the number and age of the children and the full list of chores. Since OP stated that she’s slacking on multiple things, that leads me to think that it’s a housekeeper/nanny position. That’s fine, as long as everyone is on the same page.

[Anonymous]

I started doing this in January, after I didn’t get a Christmas bonus. However, the things I stopped doing were never in my job duties. They were extras I picked up during covid, since they don’t have housekeepers anymore. When I realized my extras weren’t appreciated, I stopped doing them.

If there are her actual job duties in her contract then you should discuss this with her. If these were just extras on top of her regular duties, maybe look to see why your nanny went from going above and beyond, to just doing her job.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny who wouldn’t touch the family vacuum on a bet or do any chores not directly related to the children. However, I made that clear in the initial interview. You’re in a different position in that your nanny agreed to do these chores prior to accepting the position.

My advice would be to have a truly open talk with her and be willing to hear what she has to say regarding her “chores”. My guess is that she’s made decisions based on the kids - maybe choosing to engage them in coloring or books rather than vacuum or she simply feels your chores are more than she can handle now that she’s entrenched in the job. Just listen, OP. Keeping in mind that she’s a nanny and not a housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

OP you’ve left out important details

How old are your children or child?
What’s in your contract between you and the nanny?
Was she hired with the intent that she was a nanny/housekeeper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you’ve left out important details

How old are your children or child?
What’s in your contract between you and the nanny?
Was she hired with the intent that she was a nanny/housekeeper?

Yes, she has left out important details. It’s not even about the ages of the kids and al that, but about the agreement they had from the beginning.

The fact that she hasn’t come back to clarify since the day she posted (a week now) tells me she read the comments and realized she was in the wrong. Something is telling me the nanny was being nice and started even doing things that are not part of her job. It has personally happened to me. I would do things for my some of families and then they got so used to it that they took it for granted to a point they actually believed that it was part of my job. Just to give you an example, one day I had a hectic day with one kid sick and more needy so I didn’t unload their dishwasher. That was the very first time I didn’t do it, and they had the audacity to say the next morning that the things in the dishwasher were clean. Meaning, you didn’t do it last time and we had to do it, so today you better do it. Guess what, I didn’t do it and never help with loading and unloading, and doing extra things around since that day.

However, that didn’t keep me from helping my families after that one. I do not mind helping out when possible and won’t assume that every family will take certain things for granted. I will help out until I see that you are doing the most. I am currently helping my family with laundry of the kids and parents and even the dishes of everybody. I do not expect anything from the parents in return except for respect and that you do not fuss when one day I do do that thing I do for free.

This is the reason I understand why some nannies have strict boundaries when it comes to extra help. Because sometimes, when you start doing an extra chore your employers might expect that it is permanent and mandatory at that point.

[Anonymous]

I agree that running the vacuum is not a Nanny’s job.

Sure, any family can tell you it is “child”-related by saying the Nanny should do it so the child will not find anything on the floor to stick in their mouth, etc.
But that is just a lie.

A Nanny is typically only responsible to clean up any messes made during her stay.
Toys/books/games should be picked up & put away as well as any dishes/bottles washed prior to the parent coming home.
If the parents want their child’s laundry done then that should be negotiated w/add’l pay for the Nanny.

Having to complete chores always interferes w/childcare.
It is already enough responsibility to ensure that the child is not only in one piece when the parent returns - but the child should also be fed, well-rested, clean & changed and happy.
To be stressed to make sure the household chores are also completed perfectly is simply unfair to the Nanny.

So many parents just want to stretch their dollar when it comes to childcare.
Even at the expense of the child sadly....

[Anonymous]

Anytime a parent assigns chores to their Nanny, then their child will be short-changed one way or another when it comes to their quality and level of care.

ALWAYS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anytime a parent assigns chores to their Nanny, then their child will be short-changed one way or another when it comes to their quality and level of care.

ALWAYS.

I disagree strenuously.

I’ve always volunteered to do the kids’ clothes, because that way I can pull things that are stained, torn or outgrown as they are folded. Once the kids are 2-3, they can start helping, first with sorting out their socks and folding washcloths, later building up to a 5yo capable of sorting, loading and starting the (front load) washing machine. The older they get, the more the kids should do (if the nanny started teaching them young), so that by 1st-2nd grade, the nanny should only have to remind and supervise.

I get my charges in the kitchen, too. By 2-3, they can cut banana and strawberries with toddler knives. By 8, they can do everything except move full hot pans.

Because they see me doing things from a young age, they want to do them, too. I only do child-related chores until the child is old enough to take on more, then I start a new chore about 3 times before they start helping, because observation is almost as important as the child trying for themself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anytime a parent assigns chores to their Nanny, then their child will be short-changed one way or another when it comes to their quality and level of care.

ALWAYS.

I disagree strenuously.

I’ve always volunteered to do the kids’ clothes, because that way I can pull things that are stained, torn or outgrown as they are folded. Once the kids are 2-3, they can start helping, first with sorting out their socks and folding washcloths, later building up to a 5yo capable of sorting, loading and starting the (front load) washing machine. The older they get, the more the kids should do (if the nanny started teaching them young), so that by 1st-2nd grade, the nanny should only have to remind and supervise.

I get my charges in the kitchen, too. By 2-3, they can cut banana and strawberries with toddler knives. By 8, they can do everything except move full hot pans.


Whaaat??!

Am I reading this all correctly??
You are basically stating that a five-year old can operate a washing machine & that by 2ND grade can do their own laundry.....??!
And that at eight years old, a child can master the fine art of preparing/cooking a meal??

So glad that you are not my Nanny.
You need to learn age-appropriate activities + chores for the children that you watch.
Because they see me doing things from a young age, they want to do them, too. I only do child-related chores until the child is old enough to take on more, then I start a new chore about 3 times before they start helping, because observation is almost as important as the child trying for themself.

[Anonymous]

^^Sorry PP.
I didn’t mean for my response to be in the middle of yours in blue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^Sorry PP.
I didn’t mean for my response to be in the middle of yours in blue.

Not a problem.

I’m well aware of what is appropriate. The parents that hire me agree. When the difficulty is slowly increased as they get older, yes, kids can do laundry by themselves in second grade (provided that it’s front loading machines on the floor, no top load or stacked machines).

I never said that an 8yo would be capable of gourmet cooking. But making a balanced meal? Absolutely. I’ve had several kids who could (and did) do it themselves, with the exception of moving heavy, hot pans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^Sorry PP.
I didn’t mean for my response to be in the middle of yours in blue.

Not a problem.

I’m well aware of what is appropriate. The parents that hire me agree. When the difficulty is slowly increased as they get older, yes, kids can do laundry by themselves in second grade (provided that it’s front loading machines on the floor, no top load or stacked machines).

I never said that an 8yo would be capable of gourmet cooking. But making a balanced meal? Absolutely. I’ve had several kids who could (and did) do it themselves, with the exception of moving heavy, hot pans.

By the way, Montessori essentially starts at the same age.