What would help you in my mom´s situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is worried you will never come back. What country do you live in? Your English is excellent. I know most APs from Germany do not stay in the US and have no interest. Do you? That may go along way.

I do feel bad for you. Your mom is being selfish. One of my AP moms was very supportive but very very sad. Both her daughters were APs and then went home abs appreciated their mom and family even more. If you love something, set it free, as the saying goes. They came back to her.

Thank you! I´m from Czechia. No, I´ve never even thought about staying in the USA... I have my precious boyfriend here, my dreamed Academy I worked so hard to be accepted to is here and I feel our country is my home. But maybe that is what makes her worried and I should assure her I´ll come back to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you from?

I am a former Au Pair

You should absolutely do it, it's such a wonderful experience, I'd go again in a heartbeat if I could !

Send your application and when the time gets closer, have a heart to heart conversation with your mom and tell her you are not letting her down but spreading your own wings.

Maybe she will be able to come and visit you and you can come back for the holidays as well ...

She's afraid of the empty nest, but once you show her you are happy I'm sure she will understand or at least be comforted that you're happy.

Good luck !!

Hii, Thank you!! I´m from Czechia. Where are you from? I´m happy you enjoyed your stay in the USA, hopefully, I´ll be able to say the same thing one day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You already broke one opportunity to go. Break your ties with her. Move out. Tell her you hate it that you missed the previous opportunity and she's the one who needs help.

Families like to see independence. Some will even ask if your family is supportive to judge whether you'll actually stay or get too homesick.

Thank you for your opinion!
Yeah, I wish It´s that easy to break my ties with her and just go.... Do you think the amount of support from the family indicates how homesick the au-pair is? I feel at least in my case It won´t affect me in this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I'm from a culture where parents tend to have strong sway over their childen's lives, even well into adulthood. so I get it. I agree with a pp that your mom also sound like she has severe anxiety. If this were true, no amount of reasoning will work. She will not listen to rational, well thought out plans, b/c her mind is closed up to new things. You have only two choices: forge ahead and incur her wrath, or bow to her fear and be resentful for the rest of your life. I applaud your desire to be open and transparent with her, but be prepared that as the process moves along, her threats may escalate and she may actually carry out sabotages. I wish you all the best.

Hi, thank you very much. She will not listen to rational, well thought out plans, b/c her mind is closed up to new things - THIS!! That´s how I feel now. I´ll do my best to live my life to the fullest in a respectful way to her.

[Anonymous]

It's been awhile since your last post, OP, so not sure when you will see this, but this is well worth a read. If you go into this program, you need to have your eyes fully open, and your mother may have some valid concerns about you being an Au Pair. Please read this before paying any agency fees and also so you will know how best to negotiate with your host family.
https://fairlaborrecruitment.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/shortchanged.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's been awhile since your last post, OP, so not sure when you will see this, but this is well worth a read. If you go into this program, you need to have your eyes fully open, and your mother may have some valid concerns about you being an Au Pair. Please read this before paying any agency fees and also so you will know how best to negotiate with your host family.
https://fairlaborrecruitment.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/shortchanged.pdf

Negotiating should happen before matching, not after.