If you had/have a Stage 5 Clinger What did you do?

[Anonymous]

Your LCC can ask some other APs in your group to reach out to her for weekends. Sign her up for the gym or whatever as a gift.

[Anonymous]

This is a serious problem! But I will add that it’s not a problem with 18 year olds. We’ve had quite independents 18 year olds who never lived away from home before. I will say that I screened out one 18 year old who asked me what we like to do as a family. I gave her a couple of activities. Then she wrote back a long email explaining that she doesn’t really
Like those things and would we be willing to do other things? I was like “sorry I dont think this is a
Good fit. Good luck”.

[Anonymous]

She obviously cannot read your mind so next option. Just tell her. Be honest and say, “I’d love to chat right now but I’ve had a long day / week and what helps me learn my head is t8me alone in my kitchen/watching my fav show, etc. direct communication is important to me and I just need more space.”

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update.

You all were correct. We have initiated rematch. More than just being a stage 5 clinger she takes constant management and has recently exercised very poor judgement.

We are leaving the program and could not be happier. We are so relieved. Our LCCs response was "I'm surprised you lasted this long, I will not be recommending her to another family."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update.

You all were correct. We have initiated rematch. More than just being a stage 5 clinger she takes constant management and has recently exercised very poor judgement.

We are leaving the program and could not be happier. We are so relieved. Our LCCs response was "I'm surprised you lasted this long, I will not be recommending her to another family."

Are you get a refund?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update.

You all were correct. We have initiated rematch. More than just being a stage 5 clinger she takes constant management and has recently exercised very poor judgement.

We are leaving the program and could not be happier. We are so relieved. Our LCCs response was "I'm surprised you lasted this long, I will not be recommending her to another family."

Are you get a refund?

No, I signed a contract with the agency that was for one year. I have no desire to rematch. I'm leaving 4 months on the table. At this point we are so miserable it's worth losing the money.

[Anonymous]

“Come be part of the family, working as an AP in America!”

“Leave us alone so we can have time as a family, you clingy AP!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Come be part of the family, working as an AP in America!”

“Leave us alone so we can have time as a family, you clingy AP!”

I cannot think of a single family member I would want to spend ALL of my non-working time with. Part of being in the AP program is being a good roommate. That means being present often enough that we get to know you and absent often enough that you don’t dramatically alter the dynamic of our family dynamic. Join us for dinner and special outings and vacations? The more the merrier! Camp out in the common areas of the house expecting us to fulfill 100% of your need for friendship and human connection? Too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Come be part of the family, working as an AP in America!”

“Leave us alone so we can have time as a family, you clingy AP!”

I cannot think of a single family member I would want to spend ALL of my non-working time with. Part of being in the AP program is being a good roommate. That means being present often enough that we get to know you and absent often enough that you don’t dramatically alter the dynamic of our family dynamic. Join us for dinner and special outings and vacations? The more the merrier! Camp out in the common areas of the house expecting us to fulfill 100% of your need for friendship and human connection? Too much.

Dont forget following me around the house and attempting to come out on date night with DH and I.

This girl needs more than to be part of a family, she puts more physical demands on me than my children. She's very unstable. I'm not trying to be a mom to a 3rd high needs/special needs child. This is not what the program is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Come be part of the family, working as an AP in America!”

“Leave us alone so we can have time as a family, you clingy AP!”

I cannot think of a single family member I would want to spend ALL of my non-working time with. Part of being in the AP program is being a good roommate. That means being present often enough that we get to know you and absent often enough that you don’t dramatically alter the dynamic of our family dynamic. Join us for dinner and special outings and vacations? The more the merrier! Camp out in the common areas of the house expecting us to fulfill 100% of your need for friendship and human connection? Too much.

Dont forget following me around the house and attempting to come out on date night with DH and I.

This girl needs more than to be part of a family, she puts more physical demands on me than my children. She's very unstable. I'm not trying to be a mom to a 3rd high needs/special needs child. This is not what the program is.

OP: I really hope you have initiated a rematch by now.

[Anonymous]

During coronavirus, anyone with a homebody with be thankful for limited germs, while families with partiers are rematching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Come be part of the family, working as an AP in America!”

“Leave us alone so we can have time as a family, you clingy AP!”

I cannot think of a single family member I would want to spend ALL of my non-working time with. Part of being in the AP program is being a good roommate. That means being present often enough that we get to know you and absent often enough that you don’t dramatically alter the dynamic of our family dynamic. Join us for dinner and special outings and vacations? The more the merrier! Camp out in the common areas of the house expecting us to fulfill 100% of your need for friendship and human connection? Too much.

I’m sorry for you. I take remember spending every minute of every single childhood summer with my grandmother, great-grandmother and two siblings. As an adult, I take a couple months to do the same thing whenever I can. My great-grandmother passed three years ago, but my grandmother and I still have fun. Every few years, my sister and I coordinate so we’re both with her at the same time.

Some people are comfortable with family and genuinely enjoy being with family, even for long hours. I’m sorry you don’t. Obviously, you need to search for APs that value family time the way you do, not someone like OP’s AP (or me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Come be part of the family, working as an AP in America!”

“Leave us alone so we can have time as a family, you clingy AP!”

I cannot think of a single family member I would want to spend ALL of my non-working time with. Part of being in the AP program is being a good roommate. That means being present often enough that we get to know you and absent often enough that you don’t dramatically alter the dynamic of our family dynamic. Join us for dinner and special outings and vacations? The more the merrier! Camp out in the common areas of the house expecting us to fulfill 100% of your need for friendship and human connection? Too much.

I’m sorry for you. I take remember spending every minute of every single childhood summer with my grandmother, great-grandmother and two siblings. As an adult, I take a couple months to do the same thing whenever I can. My great-grandmother passed three years ago, but my grandmother and I still have fun. Every few years, my sister and I coordinate so we’re both with her at the same time.

Some people are comfortable with family and genuinely enjoy being with family, even for long hours. I’m sorry you don’t. Obviously, you need to search for APs that value family time the way you do, not someone like OP’s AP (or me).

Lol, so are you saying house families should be surrogate grandmothers for these grown women? Spending every waking hour with their house families? Like that's normal? Okaaay then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During coronavirus, anyone with a homebody with be thankful for limited germs, while families with partiers are rematching.

OP here. I'm in rematch and let me tell you it is HELL having to be in the house with this girl 24×7 right now. I'd rather Corona than this right now. Yesterday while working from home I had to literally throw her out of my bedroom. She just walked in and started yammering about nothing. It's bizarre. Were in rematch and she is unphased.


However if anyone wants a "homebody" AuPair who would like to be your child and then some, she is available immediately. She has her Virginia drivers license. She'd prefer a living arrangement with a bedroom next to yours. If you hate your spouse she will be a great barrier to any sort of emotional intimacy that can be had outside the bedroom. Bonus points if you can take her on date night with you. Oh and dont forget to lock your bedroom door, this newfound child of yours will barge right in unannounced. Just keep a bathrobe handy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During coronavirus, anyone with a homebody with be thankful for limited germs, while families with partiers are rematching.

OP here. I'm in rematch and let me tell you it is HELL having to be in the house with this girl 24×7 right now. I'd rather Corona than this right now. Yesterday while working from home I had to literally throw her out of my bedroom. She just walked in and started yammering about nothing. It's bizarre. Were in rematch and she is unphased.


However if anyone wants a "homebody" AuPair who would like to be your child and then some, she is available immediately. She has her Virginia drivers license. She'd prefer a living arrangement with a bedroom next to yours. If you hate your spouse she will be a great barrier to any sort of emotional intimacy that can be had outside the bedroom. Bonus points if you can take her on date night with you. Oh and dont forget to lock your bedroom door, this newfound child of yours will barge right in unannounced. Just keep a bathrobe handy

I totally feel your pain. We went through rematch with someone similar a couple of years back. Those two weeks were hell.

On the plus side, people are probably desperate for in country au pairs right now, so she should rematch quickly.