how to have a reset conversation without breeding resentment?

[Anonymous]

Tell her that you read about some great ways to organize and ask her to help you try them out.

[Anonymous]

Is your daughter turning 3 soon? Is she potty trained yet? If so, I would send her to preschool. I had a nanny for my daughter till she was almost 3 and then sent my daughter to preschool/daycare fulltime. It was the best decision ever. She does so many fun activities and she's learned so much! Honestly, I wish I had sent her sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you paying her? If you only pay $15/hr then you only get $15/hr care. You don't get champagne on a beer salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford a professional nanny?

Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone for confirming what I had already suspected.

She is our second nanny. Our first one was with us for about a year and a half and was just a rock star. She left to go to grad school around Thanksgiving. DH and I used to joke with each other that our first nanny ruined it for any potential future nanny because she was so awesome. That's why I wasn't sure if my expectations were just too high. But I'm sadly realizing that while our first nanny was truly great, our current nanny isn't only suffering from the comparison. She's just not meeting expectations period. I'm giving this background partially to explain why I'd like to try and make this work (if and only things get better) since DD already went through a childcare transition six months ago and I was originally hoping to not put her through another large change unless I absolutely have to.

That being said, I will be mentioning to our nanny tomorrow that we'd like to have a check-in sometime next week.

Thanks all.

You are comparing her to your first nanny whom you describe as a "Rock star.," Unfair. Maybe your are also at fault for this comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone for confirming what I had already suspected.

She is our second nanny. Our first one was with us for about a year and a half and was just a rock star. She left to go to grad school around Thanksgiving. DH and I used to joke with each other that our first nanny ruined it for any potential future nanny because she was so awesome. That's why I wasn't sure if my expectations were just too high. But I'm sadly realizing that while our first nanny was truly great, our current nanny isn't only suffering from the comparison. She's just not meeting expectations period. I'm giving this background partially to explain why I'd like to try and make this work (if and only things get better) since DD already went through a childcare transition six months ago and I was originally hoping to not put her through another large change unless I absolutely have to.

That being said, I will be mentioning to our nanny tomorrow that we'd like to have a check-in sometime next week.

Thanks all.

You are comparing her to your first nanny whom you describe as a "Rock star.," Unfair. Maybe your are also at fault for this comparison.

Except the rest of us agree she is performing way below expectations. Keep up.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

We had the conversation about two weeks ago and she seemed to receive the feedback well. We framed it within a larger context so it was just one portion of a longer conversation, which I think helped in some ways. We've definitely seen some improvements over the last few weeks regarding some things we discussed. Other things are still a work in progress, so we'll be keeping an eye on those things, but I am happy that she seems to be trying -- mostly successfully -- to address our concerns.

And no, she is not a $15/hr nanny and her previous family spoke very highly of her...though from stories she has told I now realize that the other mom and I have very different parenting styles and I'm guessing expectations too.