Anyone caught off guard by a rematch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

March 2017. My au pair was here 2 months. Thought everything was going well. No indication of an issue. Felt she was part of the family, etc.

I came home from a 2 week business trip overseas. The day I came home she said she wanted to rematch. Shocked me to the core.

Was she uncomfortable being there with your husband? Did he expect her to do more work, which to longer hours, or something else that made her uncomfortable? That would be my concern!

Single HM.
She worked 20-25 hrs as my kids were in school.
We treated her as part of the family, took her out for her birthday, etc.
No idea on what made her uncomfortable because my LCC at the time would not let me have an EXIT or MEDIATION meeting with her, because in her words "she's made up her mind so what's the point".

So...I was truly BLIND.

Single mom? So who watched your kids if you were gone for two weeks? Maybe the person was her reason. Or maybe you let her alone with kids for two weeks and that's why she left right after you came back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

March 2017. My au pair was here 2 months. Thought everything was going well. No indication of an issue. Felt she was part of the family, etc.

I came home from a 2 week business trip overseas. The day I came home she said she wanted to rematch. Shocked me to the core.

Was she uncomfortable being there with your husband? Did he expect her to do more work, which to longer hours, or something else that made her uncomfortable? That would be my concern!

Single HM.
She worked 20-25 hrs as my kids were in school.
We treated her as part of the family, took her out for her birthday, etc.
No idea on what made her uncomfortable because my LCC at the time would not let me have an EXIT or MEDIATION meeting with her, because in her words "she's made up her mind so what's the point".

So...I was truly BLIND.

Single mom? So who watched your kids if you were gone for two weeks? Maybe the person was her reason. Or maybe you let her alone with kids for two weeks and that's why she left right after you came back.

Sorry, divorced ‘single’ mom.

The kids were in school or with their dad. She basically had a two week vacation. Maybe that’s why!

[Anonymous]

Our German AP blindsighted us by leaving after 2 months. She went back to Germany, on 2 days notice! Basically by the time she told us she was unhappy she had completely made up her mind and bought her ticket home. It was really upsetting for us because we felt like we had vetted her so well and spent a “summer of fun” getting her bonded with the kids and doing activities with her in her free time (only when she wanted). She said she would be unhappy being an AP for a whole year! Well, what did she think she had signed up for! My husband and I had to restrain ourselves from lecturing her upon her departure because she is not our teenager but man, what a disappointment.

One detail that came out in the process is that she asked our lcc what would happen to “her friend” if she were to quit the program. I am still pissed that the lcc never told us this, even though she acknowledged that this conversation took place weeks before AP left.

[Anonymous]

You are overthinking it.
Just be good and fair to her. She's probably just adjusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

March 2017. My au pair was here 2 months. Thought everything was going well. No indication of an issue. Felt she was part of the family, etc.

I came home from a 2 week business trip overseas. The day I came home she said she wanted to rematch. Shocked me to the core.

[b]


You were gone 2 weeks overseas. This is why she wanted a rematch.

[Anonymous]

We are heading into rematch now with our Au pair. Despite giving it a try our busy household of young children is too much for her. I will give her a glowing review for the next family and we will have to revisit how best to accommodate our next AU pair. I would love to hear advice from more seasoned families b

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are heading into rematch now with our Au pair. Despite giving it a try our busy household of young children is too much for her. I will give her a glowing review for the next family and we will have to revisit how best to accommodate our next AU pair. I would love to hear advice from more seasoned families b

How old are your kids? Will they au pair be home with them all day or are they in pre-school/school? I think there are very few au pairs who can happily manage the full day schedule. I'm not saying there are none who can, you just need to screen very carefully and an older candidate is probably going to be a better option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are heading into rematch now with our Au pair. Despite giving it a try our busy household of young children is too much for her. I will give her a glowing review for the next family and we will have to revisit how best to accommodate our next AU pair. I would love to hear advice from more seasoned families b

How old are your kids? Will they au pair be home with them all day or are they in pre-school/school? I think there are very few au pairs who can happily manage the full day schedule. I'm not saying there are none who can, you just need to screen very carefully and an older candidate is probably going to be a better option.

Not that poster, but some APs can't even handle 3 kids with 2 of them in full time school... our only rematch so far.

[Anonymous]

I think most au pairs prefer full-day schedule. It usually means they have all weekend off.

[Anonymous]

Most au pairs I have known over the years who work split schedules still have all weekend off.

[Anonymous]

* all weekends, sorry

[Anonymous]

Yes, ours told us that "she didn't realize it wasn't working and she did her own work with her counselor" . It was really annoying. As if I am supposed to throw her a party for her "eat, pray, love" revelation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most au pairs I have known over the years who work split schedules still have all weekend off.

This hasn't been my experience. Most families with school age kids have their APs work shorter hours (less than 20) AND give weekends off because parents want to be with kids, are at games, etc.

That is the problem. Families with young kids asking for 45 hours a week are at a disadvantage. You need to understand that and compensate in other ways. More money, looser Covid rules, and so forth.

It is what it is. And can you blame the APs for this choice.

And before someone says it, when APs are interviewing, ALL families seem nice and kind.

[Anonymous]

was responding to the 18:00 poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most au pairs I have known over the years who work split schedules still have all weekend off.

This hasn't been my experience. Most families with school age kids have their APs work shorter hours (less than 20) AND give weekends off because parents want to be with kids, are at games, etc.

That is the problem. Families with young kids asking for 45 hours a week are at a disadvantage. You need to understand that and compensate in other ways. More money, looser Covid rules, and so forth.

It is what it is. And can you blame the APs for this choice.

And before someone says it, when APs are interviewing, ALL families seem nice and kind.

I don't have any issues with paying more $. I do have an issue as "looser covid rules" as a perk---sure let's put people at risk so that the entitled au pair can feel like they are winning--or should i say the agencies can make money off of more au pairs and families.