When would you say something to a mom about her nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that would bother me is ignoring her for 10 mins while she cried at the park.
Walking for exercise is not a concern, I am a Mom and walk for exercise with my kid in a stroller, I have dogs to walk as do plenty of other people. And the child should be "strapped in" the stroller if its moving.

You’re not being paid to care for your own child. The nanny can work out in her free time, not on the job. My boss doesn’t mind if I take a ten minute walk break outside, but if I were gone for an hour, there would be an issue. This activity doesn’t benefit the child and is being done solely for nanny’s benefit.

[Anonymous]

I personally don't see any problems. My toddler would cry anytime he went in stroller and I would get all kinds of evil stares. Mind your own business OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

You would be fine woh your nanny not doing educational and age appropriate activities because her friend wasn’t there? That’s insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

Wow are you really a mom? You have super low standards.. these are basic human standards nothing to do with being nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

You care more about your nanny "being happy" than whether your child is confined to a stroller for a multi-mile walks for your nanny's fitness, or whether your child is taken to activities that make sense for them versus those that allow the nanny to meet up with her friend? I think you're the one who needs therapy - to figure out why you love your nanny more than your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

You would be fine woh your nanny not doing educational and age appropriate activities because her friend wasn’t there? That’s insane.

What planet are you on? Is going to the park the only way a child can engage in educational and age-appropriate activities? That makes no sense. Why can't she do that at home and do the park another day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

Wow are you really a mom? You have super low standards.. these are basic human standards nothing to do with being nanny.

Sigh. Yes, I am a mom. Do you have a problem understanding context? OP's original post was full of hyperbole. She acted like the nanny was torturing a child, when really it sounds like OP just doesn't like her or enjoys stirring shit. My point was that the way OP was talking about what the nanny doing it sounded like she had done something horrible like chain the child up in the basement instead of taking him to the park. A reasonable person (are you still with me?) could assume that not going to the park didn't mean the child was being abused. Just that they happened to not be at the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

You care more about your nanny "being happy" than whether your child is confined to a stroller for a multi-mile walks for your nanny's fitness, or whether your child is taken to activities that make sense for them versus those that allow the nanny to meet up with her friend? I think you're the one who needs therapy - to figure out why you love your nanny more than your kids.

Do you have reading comprehension issues? My guess is that the last two posts were also authored by you since they all say the same thing and show the same low level of understanding. Why are you using the word "confined" like it means that a child is zip-tied to a stroller with no breathing room? I strap my kids in to their stroller because IT'S SAFE. Are they confined? Yes, technically. Am I concerned for their well-being during this time. Nope. And where did I say that I value my nanny's happiness over my child's well-being? Oh, that's right, I DIDN'T. I said that it was important to me to consider my nanny's feelings, and it didn't seem to do anyone any good if she was miserable lugging my kid activities that I had somehow deemed crucial for their development. You do realize there are about a billion ways you could entertain and education a child without going to a specific activity, right? Actually, you sound like you probably don't.

[Anonymous]

Tell her factual things that either did or didn't happen like you have listed here. If you're her friend, not sure why you are not sharing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

Wow are you really a mom? You have super low standards.. these are basic human standards nothing to do with being nanny.

Sigh. Yes, I am a mom. Do you have a problem understanding context? OP's original post was full of hyperbole. She acted like the nanny was torturing a child, when really it sounds like OP just doesn't like her or enjoys stirring shit. My point was that the way OP was talking about what the nanny doing it sounded like she had done something horrible like chain the child up in the basement instead of taking him to the park. A reasonable person (are you still with me?) could assume that not going to the park didn't mean the child was being abused. Just that they happened to not be at the park.

I didn’t see the hyperbole in OPs post ok so say it’s 5 minutes instead of 10, still ignoring a crying toddler for 5 minutes while you are texting is negligent and comes close to abuse. You wonder what the nanny is doing at home when no one is watching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a nanny (we'll call her Nancy), and she is always saying how wonderful her nanny is. I work part time, and have a nanny when I am at work. My own nanny tells me that Nancy is known around the neighborhood for doing some not-so-great stuff, like going on long walks for fitness each day with the toddler strapped in the stroller, spreading some salacious gossip about other nannies/moms, refusing to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there, etc. On my days at home I've observed this nanny texting for 10 minutes at the park while the toddler was strapped in the stroller and crying, walking very far from the house with the toddler in the stroller (presumably for fitness), and taking a harsh/exasperated tone with the child (not completely out of line, but just sterner than necessary - the nanny is Eastern European and it may be a cultural difference).

I don't want to stress my friend out or damage our friendship. But I hate to see her daughter crying in the stroller around our neighborhood during these long walks and at the park. Does any of this rise to the level of mentioning to my friend, or no? If you do think I should mention it to her, how do you think I should go about doing it?

She is "refusing" to take the toddler to any local activities unless she can meet up with her one nanny friend there? Who cares? I want my nanny to be happy, and forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do isn't going to accomplish that. If the child is being chained in a basement during the day instead of ever being allowed to breathe fresh air, that's a problem. If my nanny decides not to go to the park one day because no one else will be there? Not a problem. My nanny also walks for fitness and my kids are strapped in because that's what you do when kids are in a stroller. My kids love the walks and so do the dogs so everyone wins. If it was 98 degrees and my kids came home sunburned I'd be upset. Otherwise, why is this an issue? As for the gossip, telling someone that someone else is spreading rumors is just as bad as starting them. Leave that alone. If you've only seen the nanny texting one time while the kid was crying, I'd also let it go. You have no idea what she was texting about, and I sincerely doubt it was actually 10 minutes. Honestly, this post seems to say a lot about you and less about the nanny. Unless there are some actual concerns that the child is being harmed, you need to mind your own business. And maybe talk to someone about why you're so hung up on this nanny.

Wow are you really a mom? You have super low standards.. these are basic human standards nothing to do with being nanny.

Sigh. Yes, I am a mom. Do you have a problem understanding context? OP's original post was full of hyperbole. She acted like the nanny was torturing a child, when really it sounds like OP just doesn't like her or enjoys stirring shit. My point was that the way OP was talking about what the nanny doing it sounded like she had done something horrible like chain the child up in the basement instead of taking him to the park. A reasonable person (are you still with me?) could assume that not going to the park didn't mean the child was being abused. Just that they happened to not be at the park.

I didn’t see the hyperbole in OPs post ok so say it’s 5 minutes instead of 10, still ignoring a crying toddler for 5 minutes while you are texting is negligent and comes close to abuse. You wonder what the nanny is doing at home when no one is watching.

No, it’s not abuse... If you give in to a tantrum, kids tantrum more. I routinely ignore kids while they throw tantrums, then they don’t throw them anymore (unless there’s no consistency with the parents, then it’s a reset every Monday).

Also, it would be completely reasonable to be texting one or both parents while the kid sits in the stroller. Having had text conversations of 10+ minutes with db and mb, myob

[Anonymous]

One time I was at the park with youngest charge and MB was at home with oldest charge. MB and I were texting back and forth about oldest charge, so yea it looked like I was ignoring my charge (when in reality I was having a convo with MB)

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I think you should tell your friend. A professional, caring nanny must do her job: engage the child in fun activities, with a positive discipline. It is ok if child cries for normal reasonns like discomfort, or tireness but as nannies we must soothe and cuddle the kids like our own children. Besides, nannies must turn off phones during job hours. That nanny is not professional. I have seen many of that kind of nannies pretending going for playdates with their kids and the only thing they do is seatting, eating and chatting with other nannies. Is more like playdate for nannies.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible he was having a meltdown at the park and the nanny had to put him in the stroller until he calmed down? Or, maybe she was going to feed him a snack. Maybe he was being difficult and she needed to cool off for a few mins (and it's always better to cool off than get angry at a child). There are SO many possibilities that you just don't know. Also, the way you describe the child being "strapped" into the stroller, as if that's a bad thing. If he's in the stroller and out for a walk of course he needs to be "strapped" in.