Nanny may have stolen from us but I really don’t want to let her go

[Anonymous]

A few weeks pay for your nanny isn’t a massive amount of money to you? This post reeks of a troll.

[Anonymous]

Do not let it go. What the heck?

"Jane, Bobby asked me today for money for a plane ticket, which is fine, except that I don't recall receiving payment for the last one in January. He says he gave you the money but I don't remember you paying me. Did you?"


THen you see what she says. And if she says she paid you and you think there's a chance you forgot, and you want to retain her, then you take the high road and email something like "Jeez, I must have totally spaced out. I'll make sure to handle it more properly this time. Tomorrow morning I'll have a check for you for Bobby's ticket. And when you pay me back this time I will make sure to give you a receipt, or an email so we have a good paper trail around this. I feel terribly questioning you if I dropped the ball so we can all make sure that doesn't happen again."

And do that next time. Don't throw your money around with so little attention to it that you're not sure if or when you were repaid - it just conveys that you don't care about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks pay for your nanny isn’t a massive amount of money to you? This post reeks of a troll.

It said one week’s pay, not a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, some people are just naturally forgetful. It does say something that she immediately had the cash to give you. That means she didn’t spend any of it.

Her son came out, gave her the money and she probably stashed it somewhere meaning to give it to you but then forgot. It can be an easy thing to do if you have a lot going on.

You say you love having her as your nanny, so I say you should give her the benefit of the doubt since she’s been so good to you for all this time. You have to accept that this was more than likely just an honest mistake, otherwise you’ll feel unable to trust her and it’ll put a strain on the relationship. You can’t employ someone you don’t trust.

I’m OP. I very much want to believe this and am going to just decide that this is what happened and let it go.

But if I’m being 100% honest, yes I do think she pocketed the money. But I’m not going to act on it, unless something else similar happens.

She’s extremely detail oriented and organized-She’s not the forgetful type.

I see. I’m not sure why she would think she could steal that much money and nobody would notice, though. Oh well. If you’re going to let it go, then I guess that’s just water under the bridge.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that next time (if there even is a next time), I would advise you to just maybe keep a record. Also, if this isn’t the only thing that has given you pause about her, you may want to consider your options for the future, no matter how good she is with your kids. Like I said, you can’t employ someone untrustworthy, let alone have them in your home. Just something to think about I wish you lots of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, some people are just naturally forgetful. It does say something that she immediately had the cash to give you. That means she didn’t spend any of it.

Her son came out, gave her the money and she probably stashed it somewhere meaning to give it to you but then forgot. It can be an easy thing to do if you have a lot going on.

You say you love having her as your nanny, so I say you should give her the benefit of the doubt since she’s been so good to you for all this time. You have to accept that this was more than likely just an honest mistake, otherwise you’ll feel unable to trust her and it’ll put a strain on the relationship. You can’t employ someone you don’t trust.

I’m OP. I very much want to believe this and am going to just decide that this is what happened and let it go.

But if I’m being 100% honest, yes I do think she pocketed the money. But I’m not going to act on it, unless something else similar happens.

She’s extremely detail oriented and organized-She’s not the forgetful type.

I see. I’m not sure why she would think she could steal that much money and nobody would notice, though. Oh well. If you’re going to let it go, then I guess that’s just water under the bridge.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that next time (if there even is a next time), I would advise you to just maybe keep a record. Also, if this isn’t the only thing that has given you pause about her, you may want to consider your options for the future, no matter how good she is with your kids. Like I said, you can’t employ someone untrustworthy, let alone have them in your home. Just something to think about I wish you lots of luck!

Op here. Thank you. In the past we once bought her a plane ticket, and she was going to pay us back, and I told her not to worry about it-to think of the ticket as a gift/bonus/thank you from our family. I wonder if she thought we’d do that again (though this ticket wasn’t for her, it was for her son so it doesn’t exactly make sense). And I agree, I screwed up here by not keeping a record. I am not the most organized person. I even conceded that to her son and to her-just now when she gave me the money I said “are you SURE you didn’t pay me already? Because it’s possible I forgot.” And the nanny said no, that she was the one who forgot.

So yes this is also my fault for not doing a better job of keeping records.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like maybe she was hoping you’d cover it again, but I feel like this situation is very different than her stealing from you. If a nanny, or anyone, were to steal, that should be the end of that relationship, period. On that note, I hope the PP was joking! Anyway, I’d let this one slip, but am wondering why you’re buying her son’s ticket if he has the money to immediately pay you back. I am a nanny and cannot fathom ever asking my bosses for money. Would you, OP? Seems so strange, unless you don’t aptly her a fair, livable wage.

[Anonymous]

She was definitely testing you OP. If you gave a free ticket once you showed her it must not be a big deal to you. And she probably expected you would forget or just cover future tickets. No good deed goes unpunished, give an inch they take a mile, and so on. Stick to a professional relationship and don’t lend her or her son money. That is just asking for trouble and that’s what u got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Op here. Thank you. In the past we once bought her a plane ticket, and she was going to pay us back, and I told her not to worry about it-to think of the ticket as a gift/bonus/thank you from our family. I wonder if she thought we’d do that again (though this ticket wasn’t for her, it was for her son so it doesn’t exactly make sense). And I agree, I screwed up here by not keeping a record. I am not the most organized person. I even conceded that to her son and to her-just now when she gave me the money I said “are you SURE you didn’t pay me already? Because it’s possible I forgot.” And the nanny said no, that she was the one who forgot.

So yes this is also my fault for not doing a better job of keeping records.

In your original post, you said:

We have done this half a dozen times before and they have always paid us immediately or within a week or two.

Now you're saying you've only done this once before?

THIS. IS. A. FAKE. POST.

[Anonymous]

My guess is that she used the money at the time, always intended to pay it back, but never really had enough to do it. Then time passed and it got awkward, so she pretended like her son hadn't paid, thinking that eventually she'd find the money and pay you. Then, son called her today, and she paid up. She is probably mortified, too.

[Anonymous]

If she really needs to pay you...if you are telling the truth OP then just ask her in a nice jokey manner. Hi karla, here is a present for you and your son. I think you forgot to pay me for the ticket. Smile OP. Be nice. She took care of your child. Understand there are people who are so annoyed next to children and your nanny was always there for your kid and parents.
Maybe she forgot, maybe shes running out of money, debts, loans I dont know. Just be understanding if she pays you little month by month. Maybe she forgot. Maybe you forgot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Op here. Thank you. In the past we once bought her a plane ticket, and she was going to pay us back, and I told her not to worry about it-to think of the ticket as a gift/bonus/thank you from our family. I wonder if she thought we’d do that again (though this ticket wasn’t for her, it was for her son so it doesn’t exactly make sense). And I agree, I screwed up here by not keeping a record. I am not the most organized person. I even conceded that to her son and to her-just now when she gave me the money I said “are you SURE you didn’t pay me already? Because it’s possible I forgot.” And the nanny said no, that she was the one who forgot.

So yes this is also my fault for not doing a better job of keeping records.

In your original post, you said:

We have done this half a dozen times before and they have always paid us immediately or within a week or two.

Now you're saying you've only done this once before?

THIS. IS. A. FAKE. POST.

I think op meant that one time she bought her nanny a ticket but didn’t expect payment back. She used that as a “gift/bonus/thank you,” she said. The rest of the times, payment was expected and she was immediately paid back for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Op here. Thank you. In the past we once bought her a plane ticket, and she was going to pay us back, and I told her not to worry about it-to think of the ticket as a gift/bonus/thank you from our family. I wonder if she thought we’d do that again (though this ticket wasn’t for her, it was for her son so it doesn’t exactly make sense). And I agree, I screwed up here by not keeping a record. I am not the most organized person. I even conceded that to her son and to her-just now when she gave me the money I said “are you SURE you didn’t pay me already? Because it’s possible I forgot.” And the nanny said no, that she was the one who forgot.

So yes this is also my fault for not doing a better job of keeping records.

In your original post, you said:

We have done this half a dozen times before and they have always paid us immediately or within a week or two.

Now you're saying you've only done this once before?

THIS. IS. A. FAKE. POST.

I’m the OP-my post is not fake, and I’m not sure why everyone thinks it is.

We have bought tickets many times, but only once did we gift one of the tickets (and that time the ticket was for her, not for one of her children or family members). Every other time we’ve done this, they’ve reimbursed us promptly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like maybe she was hoping you’d cover it again, but I feel like this situation is very different than her stealing from you. If a nanny, or anyone, were to steal, that should be the end of that relationship, period. On that note, I hope the PP was joking! Anyway, I’d let this one slip, but am wondering why you’re buying her son’s ticket if he has the money to immediately pay you back. I am a nanny and cannot fathom ever asking my bosses for money. Would you, OP? Seems so strange, unless you don’t aptly her a fair, livable wage.

Op here. She and her children are recent immigrants to the US (and yes they are here legally and yes I have checked). They speak almost no English and aren’t very Internet saavy and don’t have credit cards. For them to get plane tickets in the past they’ve had to use travel agents which entails extra fees and I get them better deals and routing. It’s not so much a loan as it is me providing administrative help to them because they are new to the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like maybe she was hoping you’d cover it again, but I feel like this situation is very different than her stealing from you. If a nanny, or anyone, were to steal, that should be the end of that relationship, period. On that note, I hope the PP was joking! Anyway, I’d let this one slip, but am wondering why you’re buying her son’s ticket if he has the money to immediately pay you back. I am a nanny and cannot fathom ever asking my bosses for money. Would you, OP? Seems so strange, unless you don’t aptly her a fair, livable wage.

Op here. She and her children are recent immigrants to the US (and yes they are here legally and yes I have checked). They speak almost no English and aren’t very Internet saavy and don’t have credit cards. For them to get plane tickets in the past they’ve had to use travel agents which entails extra fees and I get them better deals and routing. It’s not so much a loan as it is me providing administrative help to them because they are new to the US.

I've lent my nanny large sums of money, such as for a down payment on a car. We work out a payment plan, email confirmation, and I take it out of her check until it's paid off. Maybe you could do something more formal like this in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was definitely testing you OP. If you gave a free ticket once you showed her it must not be a big deal to you. And she probably expected you would forget or just cover future tickets. No good deed goes unpunished, give an inch they take a mile, and so on. Stick to a professional relationship and don’t lend her or her son money. That is just asking for trouble and that’s what u got.

i think this pp nailed it.