Deciding whether to switch from nanny to daycare - confused and sad

[Anonymous]

DD just got live for a second time in daycare. I am here looking for a nanny.

Daycare is awful, OP. And DD is supposed to be at one of the best - a Bright Horizons attached to a major university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD just got live for a second time in daycare. I am here looking for a nanny.

Daycare is awful, OP. And DD is supposed to be at one of the best - a Bright Horizons attached to a major university.

*lice

Even my phone doesn't want it to be true.

Lice - DD got lice for the second time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just got live for a second time in daycare. I am here looking for a nanny.

Daycare is awful, OP. And DD is supposed to be at one of the best - a Bright Horizons attached to a major university.

*lice

Even my phone doesn't want it to be true.

Lice - DD got lice for the second time.

NP here. Our kids are now in elementary school, and we always used a nanny when they were young (no daycare). However, your child getting lice does not necessarily reflect badly on the daycare center. At our kids' elementary (in Bethesda) where there are tons of affluent families, there is lice going around every year. Last year, the PTA featured a speaker known as "The Potomac Lice Lady." I went to her lecture, and she makes it clear that it's not about being dirty at all. It can happen to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just got live for a second time in daycare. I am here looking for a nanny.

Daycare is awful, OP. And DD is supposed to be at one of the best - a Bright Horizons attached to a major university.

*lice

Even my phone doesn't want it to be true.

Lice - DD got lice for the second time.

NP here. Our kids are now in elementary school, and we always used a nanny when they were young (no daycare). However, your child getting lice does not necessarily reflect badly on the daycare center. At our kids' elementary (in Bethesda) where there are tons of affluent families, there is lice going around every year. Last year, the PTA featured a speaker known as "The Potomac Lice Lady." I went to her lecture, and she makes it clear that it's not about being dirty at all. It can happen to anyone.

But no baby should have to be treated for lice. I think that is what PP meant with "daycare sucks". Lice is not about being dirty but can be prevented from spreading. Daycares rarely have the money or manpower to stop lice from spreading.

[Anonymous]

DS is in daycare and got head lice, hand-foot-and-mouth and that horrid stomach bug that lasted forever along with a cold every month (at least) in his first six months in daycare. Daycare is not for the faint of heart.

If I could afford a nanny, I would do it in a New York minute.

[Anonymous]

In the long run, two more years of a nanny vs. daycare will not break you financially. Do what is best for your son. If it is daycare, make the switch. If not, keep the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the long run, two more years of a nanny vs. daycare will not break you financially. Do what is best for your son. If it is daycare, make the switch. If not, keep the nanny.

Sure, but for us our oldest starts kindergarten full time in the fall and we will be sending our 3 year old to full time Montessori. We have used up quite a bit of savings to get here (ft nanny and part time preschool tuition). My hours are flexible so I should be able to pick dc2 up by 4 pm or so. D.C. Went to daycare temporarily (less than 8 weeks) when nanny was recovering from surgery and D.C. Hated it partly because too young to understand what was happening and got sick a lot. I think D.C. Will be fine. I thought no it will be hardest on me as I will be changing my hours and then doing another shift driving kids to after school activities etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the long run, two more years of a nanny vs. daycare will not break you financially. Do what is best for your son. If it is daycare, make the switch. If not, keep the nanny.

Sure, but for us our oldest starts kindergarten full time in the fall and we will be sending our 3 year old to full time Montessori. We have used up quite a bit of savings to get here (ft nanny and part time preschool tuition). My hours are flexible so I should be able to pick dc2 up by 4 pm or so. D.C. Went to daycare temporarily (less than 8 weeks) when nanny was recovering from surgery and D.C. Hated it partly because too young to understand what was happening and got sick a lot. I think D.C. Will be fine. I thought no it will be hardest on me as I will be changing my hours and then doing another shift driving kids to after school activities etc.

If you already made up your mind, why did you bother posting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the long run, two more years of a nanny vs. daycare will not break you financially. Do what is best for your son. If it is daycare, make the switch. If not, keep the nanny.

Sure, but for us our oldest starts kindergarten full time in the fall and we will be sending our 3 year old to full time Montessori. We have used up quite a bit of savings to get here (ft nanny and part time preschool tuition). My hours are flexible so I should be able to pick dc2 up by 4 pm or so. D.C. Went to daycare temporarily (less than 8 weeks) when nanny was recovering from surgery and D.C. Hated it partly because too young to understand what was happening and got sick a lot. I think D.C. Will be fine. I thought no it will be hardest on me as I will be changing my hours and then doing another shift driving kids to after school activities etc.

If you already made up your mind, why did you bother posting?

OP here. The PP with the kid in kindergarten is not me.

I'm still completely torn on this.

[Anonymous]

OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 3 he'll forget her in a couple weeks. Dont worry about it.

My son transitioned HORRIBLE to a chaotic "wonderful" daycare. We ended up pulling him and luckiky getting our nanny back. It was a horrible idea in the first place. My son continued wirh half day preschool. He gor more than enough socialization there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Yeah, I hear that "I saw bad nannies" from mothers justifying daycare before. I don't buy it. Working only four days a week, and alternating the day I take off, I take my child to classes with other kids and their nannies and have seen the vast majority to be more engaged and loving than the other mothers. I have also heard raves from teachers and librarians about our beloved nanny.

OP, I am in your situation and have decided to bite the bullet and send my three-year-old to a great preschool and have his beloved nanny pick him up and bring him home for his quiet time and reading. He will continue to nap in his own little bed and do his usual afternoon activities with nanny. I think eight to ten hours in a daycare room is too much for a preschooler. It's interesting that none of the top preschools offer aftercare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Second, on DCUM people mostly have nannies (so it seems). My LO is in daycare, and it is not horrible at all. In terms of safety, I think it is safer even since there are multiple eyes on your child rather than a single point of failure (only your nanny) if something goes wrong.

My LO has thrived in daycare and loves playing with his friends there. I previously had a nanny and she was always on her phone even after multiple warnings to engage with my son more.

[Anonymous]

Personally we never considered daycare because we didnt want our small children and babies to have to keep the same hours as us 8+ hours being warehoused in a daycare is too much. Ideally kids go to preschool a few hours a day, a few days a week and get loving consistent care from a parent or nanny at home the rest of the time in a relaxed home environment. Too much churn, too much chaos at daycares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Second, on DCUM people mostly have nannies (so it seems). My LO is in daycare, and it is not horrible at all. In terms of safety, I think it is safer even since there are multiple eyes on your child rather than a single point of failure (only your nanny) if something goes wrong.

My LO has thrived in daycare and loves playing with his friends there. I previously had a nanny and she was always on her phone even after multiple warnings to engage with my son more.

I doubt she is "thriving" but it is a really helpful rationalization for you. Daycare is about waiting - very little learning or nurturing. But they do learn to wait and walk in a line.

You should have been more diligent about hiring a good nanny, PP. And as A former daycare worker, I promise you that there are NOT multiple eyes on your child - you are lucky if there is one set of eyes glancing by her. The troubled kids get all the attention.