Deciding whether to switch from nanny to daycare - confused and sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Second, on DCUM people mostly have nannies (so it seems). My LO is in daycare, and it is not horrible at all. In terms of safety, I think it is safer even since there are multiple eyes on your child rather than a single point of failure (only your nanny) if something goes wrong.

My LO has thrived in daycare and loves playing with his friends there. I previously had a nanny and she was always on her phone even after multiple warnings to engage with my son more.

I doubt she is "thriving" but it is a really helpful rationalization for you. Daycare is about waiting - very little learning or nurturing. But they do learn to wait and walk in a line.

You should have been more diligent about hiring a good nanny, PP. And as A former daycare worker, I promise you that there are NOT multiple eyes on your child - you are lucky if there is one set of eyes glancing by her. The troubled kids get all the attention.

This.

I worked in a few daycares and I started my nanny career after a family asked me to quit to watch their kids. These daycares were highly regarded, one Montessori. . I would never ever take my own child to any sort of daycare center. It is not a nurturing environment, but luckily kids can adapt to just about anything. The kids were all exhausted. It's too much stimulation, too much chaos, too many kids, too noisy, and too long.

It's institutional care. Not ideal if you have othrler choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Second, on DCUM people mostly have nannies (so it seems). My LO is in daycare, and it is not horrible at all. In terms of safety, I think it is safer even since there are multiple eyes on your child rather than a single point of failure (only your nanny) if something goes wrong.

My LO has thrived in daycare and loves playing with his friends there. I previously had a nanny and she was always on her phone even after multiple warnings to engage with my son more.

I doubt she is "thriving" but it is a really helpful rationalization for you. Daycare is about waiting - very little learning or nurturing. But they do learn to wait and walk in a line.

You should have been more diligent about hiring a good nanny, PP. And as A former daycare worker, I promise you that there are NOT multiple eyes on your child - you are lucky if there is one set of eyes glancing by her. The troubled kids get all the attention.

This.

I worked in a few daycares and I started my nanny career after a family asked me to quit to watch their kids. These daycares were highly regarded, one Montessori. . I would never ever take my own child to any sort of daycare center. It is not a nurturing environment, but luckily kids can adapt to just about anything. The kids were all exhausted. It's too much stimulation, too much chaos, too many kids, too noisy, and too long.

It's institutional care. Not ideal if you have othrler choice.

LOL omg people. I went to daycare myself and I have no recollection of it. If you want to rationalize your need for a nanny, then okay, but to keep putting down daycares is so stupid.

Yes, staying at home with their MOTHER is probably best for a baby but whether you do nanny or daycare, I don't think the difference is that huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Second, on DCUM people mostly have nannies (so it seems). My LO is in daycare, and it is not horrible at all. In terms of safety, I think it is safer even since there are multiple eyes on your child rather than a single point of failure (only your nanny) if something goes wrong.

My LO has thrived in daycare and loves playing with his friends there. I previously had a nanny and she was always on her phone even after multiple warnings to engage with my son more.

I doubt she is "thriving" but it is a really helpful rationalization for you. Daycare is about waiting - very little learning or nurturing. But they do learn to wait and walk in a line.

You should have been more diligent about hiring a good nanny, PP. And as A former daycare worker, I promise you that there are NOT multiple eyes on your child - you are lucky if there is one set of eyes glancing by her. The troubled kids get all the attention.

This.

I worked in a few daycares and I started my nanny career after a family asked me to quit to watch their kids. These daycares were highly regarded, one Montessori. . I would never ever take my own child to any sort of daycare center. It is not a nurturing environment, but luckily kids can adapt to just about anything. The kids were all exhausted. It's too much stimulation, too much chaos, too many kids, too noisy, and too long.

It's institutional care. Not ideal if you have othrler choice.

LOL omg people. I went to daycare myself and I have no recollection of it. If you want to rationalize your need for a nanny, then okay, but to keep putting down daycares is so stupid.

Yes, staying at home with their MOTHER is probably best for a baby but whether you do nanny or daycare, I don't think the difference is that huge.

Everyone that I read who "put down daycare" has had experience with daycare - which is exactly what OP is asking.

Interesting you didn't say, "...staying home with their PARENT is probably best for a baby..." And as a parent who has done both daycare and nanny, the difference with a nanny is truly profound. And since our nanny is a former preschool teacher with a college degree in early education, she is infinitely better at teaching my toddlers than I am during the day.

I am surprised you don't remember daycare. You have no memories before kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Second, on DCUM people mostly have nannies (so it seems). My LO is in daycare, and it is not horrible at all. In terms of safety, I think it is safer even since there are multiple eyes on your child rather than a single point of failure (only your nanny) if something goes wrong.

My LO has thrived in daycare and loves playing with his friends there. I previously had a nanny and she was always on her phone even after multiple warnings to engage with my son more.

I doubt she is "thriving" but it is a really helpful rationalization for you. Daycare is about waiting - very little learning or nurturing. But they do learn to wait and walk in a line.

You should have been more diligent about hiring a good nanny, PP. And as A former daycare worker, I promise you that there are NOT multiple eyes on your child - you are lucky if there is one set of eyes glancing by her. The troubled kids get all the attention.

This.

I worked in a few daycares and I started my nanny career after a family asked me to quit to watch their kids. These daycares were highly regarded, one Montessori. . I would never ever take my own child to any sort of daycare center. It is not a nurturing environment, but luckily kids can adapt to just about anything. The kids were all exhausted. It's too much stimulation, too much chaos, too many kids, too noisy, and too long.

It's institutional care. Not ideal if you have othrler choice.

LOL omg people. I went to daycare myself and I have no recollection of it. If you want to rationalize your need for a nanny, then okay, but to keep putting down daycares is so stupid.

Yes, staying at home with their MOTHER is probably best for a baby but whether you do nanny or daycare, I don't think the difference is that huge.

Posters are answering the question that OP asked. It is okay if you disagree with the majority of posters who have had both nannies and children in daycare.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to everyone for the great advice. DH and I sat down and went over our budget and decided that we can afford another year. Our son just loves his nanny and his part-time preschool. Yes, it's a ridiculously high amount of money when you factor in salary, taxes, and preschool, but we ultimately decided it is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks to everyone for the great advice. DH and I sat down and went over our budget and decided that we can afford another year. Our son just loves his nanny and his part-time preschool. Yes, it's a ridiculously high amount of money when you factor in salary, taxes, and preschool, but we ultimately decided it is worth it.

I am glad for you, OP. Sounds like the right decision.

[Anonymous]

NP here--OP you are clearly getting a lot of people who think nannies are the only way to go. We've been in your EXACT situation. Loved our nanny and couldnt imagine putting our 2yo into day care.

But we also weren't able to save a penny after paying her close to 50k per year. It took every extra penny we had and we decided for us it was worth it to save some money, plan for the future and afford a vacation again when a spot opened up in a well-regarded local daycare.

We could not be happier that we did! Our nanny did not take it personally and found a new position almost immediately. Our stress level was high for the first couple weeks of transition (and having to do the kids laundry again reminded me of all the small things we took for granted with her)...but our little one thrives in daycare and we are so happy with the financial cushion again.

Just another perspective

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Yeah, I hear that "I saw bad nannies" from mothers justifying daycare before. I don't buy it. Working only four days a week, and alternating the day I take off, I take my child to classes with other kids and their nannies and have seen the vast majority to be more engaged and loving than the other mothers. I have also heard raves from teachers and librarians about our beloved nanny.

OP, I am in your situation and have decided to bite the bullet and send my three-year-old to a great preschool and have his beloved nanny pick him up and bring him home for his quiet time and reading. He will continue to nap in his own little bed and do his usual afternoon activities with nanny. I think eight to ten hours in a daycare room is too much for a preschooler. It's interesting that none of the top preschools offer aftercare.

That's because you have to be wealthy to afford the tuition there and the wealthy can afford both preschool and a nanny so they don't need aftercare. Trust me if there was enough demand for it schools would find a way to offer it and make more $$. Aidan is what, $30k a year, and a full-time nanny for one child is what, $50 or $60k? I'd love for my kid to take a nap in her own bed too but I can't afford $80k a year for childcare. Don't draw correlations where there are none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Yeah, I hear that "I saw bad nannies" from mothers justifying daycare before. I don't buy it. Working only four days a week, and alternating the day I take off, I take my child to classes with other kids and their nannies and have seen the vast majority to be more engaged and loving than the other mothers. I have also heard raves from teachers and librarians about our beloved nanny.

OP, I am in your situation and have decided to bite the bullet and send my three-year-old to a great preschool and have his beloved nanny pick him up and bring him home for his quiet time and reading. He will continue to nap in his own little bed and do his usual afternoon activities with nanny. I think eight to ten hours in a daycare room is too much for a preschooler. It's interesting that none of the top preschools offer aftercare.

That's because you have to be wealthy to afford the tuition there and the wealthy can afford both preschool and a nanny so they don't need aftercare. Trust me if there was enough demand for it schools would find a way to offer it and make more $$. Aidan is what, $30k a year, and a full-time nanny for one child is what, $50 or $60k? I'd love for my kid to take a nap in her own bed too but I can't afford $80k a year for childcare. Don't draw correlations where there are none.

As a preschool teacher, I disagree. We know that long days for pe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you honestly have to do what's best for your situation, your child and you.

It's a different scenario for each person. We did daycare starting at age 1 and absolutely loved it. Even though DC 2 won't arrive until later this year, I am planning on doing the same thing - home for a year and then daycare.

I decided on daycare over nanny because during the year I was home with DD, I was around nannies non-stop and was less-than-impressed. Most were constantly on their phones or chatting with each other. I loved the constant stimulation at daycare (8 kids in a class with two teachers) and the early learning and play.

But, our scenario was perfect for us - and we really loved our daycare, the director and the other families.

But, the most important thing is how you feel and the needs of your child. Good luck with your decision!

Yeah, I hear that "I saw bad nannies" from mothers justifying daycare before. I don't buy it. Working only four days a week, and alternating the day I take off, I take my child to classes with other kids and their nannies and have seen the vast majority to be more engaged and loving than the other mothers. I have also heard raves from teachers and librarians about our beloved nanny.

OP, I am in your situation and have decided to bite the bullet and send my three-year-old to a great preschool and have his beloved nanny pick him up and bring him home for his quiet time and reading. He will continue to nap in his own little bed and do his usual afternoon activities with nanny. I think eight to ten hours in a daycare room is too much for a preschooler. It's interesting that none of the top preschools offer aftercare.

That's because you have to be wealthy to afford the tuition there and the wealthy can afford both preschool and a nanny so they don't need aftercare. Trust me if there was enough demand for it schools would find a way to offer it and make more $$. Aidan is what, $30k a year, and a full-time nanny for one child is what, $50 or $60k? I'd love for my kid to take a nap in her own bed too but I can't afford $80k a year for childcare. Don't draw correlations where there are none.

As a preschool teacher, I disagree. We know that long days for pe

(Sorry). Preschool teachers and educational experts know that 8 to 10 hours in an institutional setting causes stress and stress suppresses learning. The top preschools are the top preschools because they are feeder schools to the top elementary schools. The children would not test as high if there were aftercare. There is a direct and meaningful correlation.