Former nanny super emotional when we ran into her

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Some of you read way too much into things. One PP said I was cruel, how exactly? I didn't in any way ridicule FN or her emotions. I in fact respect FN and greatly appreciate the care she gave DC.

To shed a little extra light, FN DID have some questionable behavior when she worked for us, such as getting upset when DC wanted to be with mommy or daddy and not her, getting really emotional with DC out of the blue. I know some of you are going to read this and say "oh she's just a loving nanny. You're a bitch MB!" but you had to be there. There seemed to be something going on under the surface and since I didn't know what it was, it kind of bothered me.

To answer some questions PPs threw out there. Her medical condition was undisclosed when we hired her. We did give her a glowing reference, but when asked about her health, I didn't lie, of course. She had no problem finding other work, btw. I'm not an idiot and think I have some right to tell her how to behave or emote and I'm not judging her. I asked what you all thought and thank the PPs who gave their (respectful) opinions and shed light on what FN might be feeling.

[Anonymous]

You sound unpleasant. Are employers ever satisfied with their nannies? If you are too attached, it's not appropriate. If you don't get attached, your cold.

I LOVED my old NK's and have been without them for six months and get very emotional when I think about them. I adored them and would have died for them if need be, I felt like I was a wonderful nanny to them and since I spent 55-60 hours with them a week since they were 11 days old, it was imperative I love them and show them love.

I don't understand how parents can get upset that their nanny is attached and loves your children. You should be grateful. Did she ever do anything that crossed the line? I'm thinking that often mom guilt makes mom bosses harbor some jealousy of their nannies.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you fired a good nanny. Some children just melt your heart OP. You must not be very maternal . You just don't get it.

[Anonymous]

I think your FN was overly emotional when she worked for you and it sounds over the top and uncomfortable. And that was still true when you ran into her recently.

I understand why you'd find this odd, and I agree with you.

I think it just validates why she wasn't a good fit for you in the first place. I think it's sad that it was such an upsetting experience for her but that isn't your problem. It isn't professional behavior and you are more than entitled to seek a professional relationship with your nanny. (Just as other families are entitled to seek a more "grandmotherly", very attached kind of relationship.)

Don't overthink it OP. Ju.st move on

[Anonymous]

I am an MB and I am telling you frankly, OP, you need to get a life. Why in the world would you obsess about this?!

You have NO CLUE what your former nanny is going through or why. To post about it is truly classless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Some of you read way too much into things. One PP said I was cruel, how exactly? I didn't in any way ridicule FN or her emotions. I in fact respect FN and greatly appreciate the care she gave DC.

To shed a little extra light, FN DID have some questionable behavior when she worked for us, such as getting upset when DC wanted to be with mommy or daddy and not her, getting really emotional with DC out of the blue. I know some of you are going to read this and say "oh she's just a loving nanny. You're a bitch MB!" but you had to be there. There seemed to be something going on under the surface and since I didn't know what it was, it kind of bothered me.

To answer some questions PPs threw out there. Her medical condition was undisclosed when we hired her. We did give her a glowing reference, but when asked about her health, I didn't lie, of course. She had no problem finding other work, btw. I'm not an idiot and think I have some right to tell her how to behave or emote and I'm not judging her. I asked what you all thought and thank the PPs who gave their (respectful) opinions and shed light on what FN might be feeling.

Another MB here and you are cruel to post about a nanny you long since fired. You won. You got your way and she is out of your lives. Why post that she may have gotten upset when she saw your child? (although you have no idea why she may have gotten upset) Why humiliate her further?

It is hard enough to have a good relationship with the women caring for our children while we are working. Why make mothers look like bitches by posting something as callous as this?

[Anonymous]

Agree with you PP. It is hard enough forming a relationship with your nanny. It sounds like OP wants us to tell her that the nanny is a single white female type. Of course we don't know the full background but either way, if she makes you uncomfortable, she makes you uncomfortable. Fact is, she is no longer your problem so why worry about it?

[Anonymous]

You're ugly on the inside OP. Truly ugly.

[Anonymous]

What did you hope to accomplish or learn from such a mean-spirited post, OP? Why would you even bother to question the motives of a woman who is not a part of your or your child's life at all anymore?

I am a nanny and I truly love my charges. When my first charge transitioned to school, I was fortunate enough to have an MB who honored her son's relationships and made sure I remained a part of his life. Had she been like you, I probably would cry the first time I saw him after so long.

With all due respect, OP, I think you may want to look at your own issues and insecurities to discover why you felt the need to post about your former nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Some of you read way too much into things. One PP said I was cruel, how exactly? I didn't in any way ridicule FN or her emotions. I in fact respect FN and greatly appreciate the care she gave DC.

To shed a little extra light, FN DID have some questionable behavior when she worked for us, such as getting upset when DC wanted to be with mommy or daddy and not her, getting really emotional with DC out of the blue. I know some of you are going to read this and say "oh she's just a loving nanny. You're a bitch MB!" but you had to be there. There seemed to be something going on under the surface and since I didn't know what it was, it kind of bothered me.

To answer some questions PPs threw out there. Her medical condition was undisclosed when we hired her. We did give her a glowing reference, but when asked about her health, I didn't lie, of course. She had no problem finding other work, btw. I'm not an idiot and think I have some right to tell her how to behave or emote and I'm not judging her. I asked what you all thought and thank the PPs who gave their (respectful) opinions and shed light on what FN might be feeling.

Oh whatever. You came here to ridicule her. You fired a good nanny because you probably felt threatened by her attachment to your child and the amount of time they spent together. Some MBs like you always look for something to complain about out if feeling guilty because they don't spend enough time with their kids.

also your point of all of a sudden coming back and listing other things she allegedly did to show she possessed "questionable behavior" is typical because you didnt get the responses you wanted. Saying she would get "upset" when the kid would want mommy or daddy???? Well NEWSFLASH when nannies are at your home they are there to work and have the kid with THEM. Whenever parents do the whole "Im working from home today" or "Ill be in and out" or just aren't considerate enough to separate themselves from the nannies working quarters its a complete headache trying to get the kids to understand they are supposed to be with the nanny and nannies feel like they aren't doing their jobs when they allow kids to constantly try to get to their parents. Its like they are playing tug of war and its frustrating for them, so yeah she probably was upset. You shouldn't even be around if she was there to work. GMAFB

Im so happy that poor woman has found a family that probably appreciates her way more than you did.

[Anonymous]

You've embarrassed yourself, OP, and neither nannies nor employers of nannies are standing by you on this. I hope you have learned something here and look at why you are so judgemental and unkind. Your post ells me much more about you than your poor former nanny.