Former nanny super emotional when we ran into her
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Anonymous
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I'm just wondering how other MBs and nannies feel about this. Our former nanny was with us for about 10 months until last September. FN was on the older side and had medical issues and we had had a talk with her months before that we would look for her replacement in late summer so it wasn't a huge shocker when we did let her go. Very nice lady, but seemed a bit too emotional to be professional in her job, she's a grandmotherly type who got VERY attached to DC in the first couple weeks on the job. I want DC to be loved by nanny, but it seemed odd and a little concerning to me that FN got so attached so quickly and my friends would joke a la Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Anyway, fast forward to today, we ran into FN, who was taking care of her new charge, at a local indoor playground. We were both pleasant with each other, chatted for a few minutes, FN commented on how much DC had grown. FN started looking emotional, I saw tears in her eyes and she hurriedly said she should get going and rushed away. I saw she was crying while she waited for the elevator.
Anyway, just wondering what others think about this. Touching show of affection for former charge? Or overly emotional nanny who needs to maintain some boundaries? FYI we left on good terms, I told her she was welcome to visit DC time to time (one of her friends is a regular sitter of ours and she could visit when her friend is watching DC if she preferred that to visiting with us) and she declined, I got the impression that visiting DC would upset her because they no longer had the caregiving bond. |
Anonymous
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She's emotional. She didn't steal your child or teach them to call her mommy. Who are we to say she's TOO emotional, you know? Maybe she always wanted to be a grandmother and never got to be one. Maybe her grandchildren live far from her. Who knows?
I wouldn't worry about it. |
Anonymous
Maintain some boundaries? From what? You fired the lady so what difference does it make now? You are worried about her being too attached and loving your child too much yet you are the one going home and writing paragraphs about it on an online forum and thinking about her while she's moved on to another family, and inviting her to visit but not even offering to let her sit so she could at least earn some money. Good grief some of the parents here really go out of their way to find something to post here. |
Anonymous
| Why did you hire someone on the older side and then to only turn around and fire them so quickly? Did she lie about having medical issues beforehand during the interview/hiring and did you give her a good reference? |
Anonymous
| She is no longer your employee. You can't control her anymore you no longer can not let her cry. She is aloud to cry whenever and wherever she chooses. |
Anonymous
| So you are posting about a former nanny crying? Get a life, OP, and try to learn basic human compassion. |
Anonymous
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She didn't want you to see her tears of joy caused by being free from you, OP. You sound truly horrid.
She doesn't work for you and has no contact with your snowflake. I would say her boundaries are in excellent shape. |
Anonymous
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OMG, the nannies here. You have all really lost your collective shit.
OP is totally right to be weirded out by this situation. Crying in public because you ran into a child you took care of for less than a year?!?! Yeah, this nanny needs to get a hold of her emotions. |
Anonymous
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Have some compassion. You never know if seeing your kid evoked feelings of missing her own kids/grandkids, if there's an illness in the family, if something else is going on, and seeing your get got her happy but opened up some feelings in her.
Two years ago, I lost my aunt/godmother, and held it together for a couple months. then my dds were watching Frozen and I just started balling my eyes out. Anyway don't read into it, people have a lot going on in their lives that you are unaware of. - Mom Boss |
Anonymous
The FN doesn't have to get ahold of her emotions that is the point. She is no longer employed by op. She is aloud to cry over anything she wants . Can op be weirded out , of course. Can she stop her, NO. |
Anonymous
Reading is hard, I know... |
Anonymous
I am an MB, Sweetie, and I posted that OP is nuts. Now I will add that both you and she are cruel. My father died two years ago and I started crying in the grocery store when I saw his favorite cookies. We have no idea what the former nanny is going thru or what caused her to cry. It is stunningly narcissistic to even guess that she had some sort of boundary issues with her former change (whom she has never asked to visit) or that there is something wrong with her. And, regardless, there is NOTHING to be done about her emotions! She does not work for OP nor does she have any contact with the child. Some of you, MBs, really need to stop being so judgemental and meddling. And do need to focus on your own lives more. |
Anonymous
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You obviously had a wonderful nanny who got attached to your kid and that's the best gift your child could get from their caregiver.
I have been a nanny for a few years and sometimes I too get attached after 2 weeks or so, there are kids that just melt your heart and that's it. Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes you never get attached for whatever reason. Maybe your child didn't recognize her when she/he saw her again and your former nanny got upset about that. Realizing how ungrateful our job is sometimes, even if that's nobody's fault, just life ... She didn't harass you and come to vist your son/daughter every week, so you should let it go and not worry. But being human and nice, I'd contact her to ask if she's ok, as she sounded very emotional when you met her, just asking if she's ok would be nice. |
Anonymous
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I think you are very lucky that someone cared enough to love your child like that. Sure she might have been on the intense side when she was your nanny but unless she was displaying uncomfortable behavior to you then I don't really see a problem.
She most likely misses you all. As a new nanny I have to say, it really is extraordinary how attached you get to the whole family. My MB and charge can really irritate me at times but I do love them. That is probably what is going on with her and she got emotional. |
Anonymous
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I am an older nanny. I will tell you about my situation and how I became a nanny.
My fantasy back in the day when I was raising my kids was that some day I would be a grandma, and I would babysit the grandkids about six hours a week, plus an overnight once a month. The reality was / is that my son and DIL and grandkids live more than 1.000 miles away. The other grandma lives near them and posts photos all the time of her with the grandkids. I felt rejected and left out and very sad about that. After I had been a grandma for about three years, I retired from my fed job and was looking for some kind of job that was low stress and fun, to supplement my pension. My dear friend who had heard me whining about being deprived of the "grandma experience" knew of a relative who had lost their home daycare provider and needed a new sitter for her baby. Since my home was not set up for children, I took care of the baby in their home. It was a match made in heaven and I absolutely loved it. I felt honored that I was actually invited to help take care of a little one. And sometimes when I was rocking that sweet little baby to sleep, I would get teary eyed. Thankfully, they never did fire me for actually enjoying my job and loving their child. That family moved, and now I am on family number three. I love my current kids too. Just the other day, I was watching my four year old charge during his karate class, and I was so proud of him learning his new karate skills that I had to wipe tears away. Sure hope I don't get fired for actually loving that little guy so much that I get teary once in a while. |