Unreasonable Requests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

Yes, and that is almost $50 a month. Would you be happy paying that out of pocket for your job?

That's $12 for the IRS reimbursement rate. Unless she drives a very expensive car that only uses Premium fuel, her real costs are much lower.

But when I posted the bolded part above, it was actually aimed at the MD, suggesting that she just pay it.

She can choose A or B.
A: $21/ hour all in

B: $19 or $20/ hour plus mileage (5 miles a day)

Just say No, can't do that. You should see the amount of BS my co-worker's nanny asks for everytime she hears about some other totally different arrangement some other nanny has. I think he is up to 20 "No's" for the calendar year, including 13 personal day off requests outside of vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

I'm sure she can suck it up for what we pay her. Otherwise I guess we could lower her hourly and have her keep track of the miles so we can pay her those $12 at the end of the week.

next she is going to ask you to buy her lunch every day too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

Yes, and that is almost $50 a month. Would you be happy paying that out of pocket for your job?

That's $12 for the IRS reimbursement rate. Unless she drives a very expensive car that only uses Premium fuel, her real costs are much lower.

But when I posted the bolded part above, it was actually aimed at the MD, suggesting that she just pay it.

I think it is appropriate yet at the same time petty on her part to ask you for the mileage reimbursement if she is truly going only five miles R/T out of her way (and it's an easy drive without traffic), especially if you are paying her a generous wage. I honestly could not employ someone like that because they would make my life more difficult and I hire people with the goal that they make my life easier. It's not about the money, I would rather pay someone a higher wage than have to think about such a petty reimbursement and it sounds like that is what you think your situation is.

FYI a lot of jobs do not reimburse at the IRS rate so don't necessarily go off of that. If she is being paid generously already, I would reimburse her at a rate that's between her fuel cost and the IRS rate and say that's mileage reimbursement.

I live in the NYC area and it is common though I would not say standard to provide PT nannies with some holiday and vacation benefits. Whether yes or no and how much boil down to how much you value the nanny and want to retain her. She doesn't work that many hours for you and you've mentioned she prefers housework so it sounds like she's not close to your kids either. OTOH she has been with your family a long time. Plus, she relies on the income you provide her, and even though it is not the majority of her income, $900+ monthly is nothing to sniff at. I would offer her something, but not the full benefits that a FT nanny gets, so that you have room to expand the benefits for retention purposes in future years. Such as you will pay her for up to two weeks when your family goes on vacation, but no more than that and not for her vacation. I would also reimburse her for mileage. That would be it for now. And if you don't love this nanny (I'm not getting that vibe), maybe look into hiring a replacement?

[Anonymous]

I think you need I pay for reimbursement since it's her personal car. You have to pay so well because not many nannies are only looking for 11 hours a week. Paying too low will not be worth the hassle and commute time. Find a cheaper nanny but you will likely have to find a new nanny every couple of months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

I'm sure she can suck it up for what we pay her. Otherwise I guess we could lower her hourly and have her keep track of the miles so we can pay her those $12 at the end of the week.

Wow. You're incredible entitled and cheap. I would quit if I were her. You clearly don't respect her or any work that she does for you family. Would you run errands with no reimbursement for you job? i highly doubt so. Nannies are mandated by law to be reimbursed. I hope she reports you to the IRS. Then again, you likely are a scammer and don't pay taxes.

Not sure what happened because I am the OP and did not make the comment about sucking it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

Yes, and that is almost $50 a month. Would you be happy paying that out of pocket for your job?

That's $12 for the IRS reimbursement rate. Unless she drives a very expensive car that only uses Premium fuel, her real costs are much lower.

But when I posted the bolded part above, it was actually aimed at the MD, suggesting that she just pay it.

I think it is appropriate yet at the same time petty on her part to ask you for the mileage reimbursement if she is truly going only five miles R/T out of her way (and it's an easy drive without traffic), especially if you are paying her a generous wage. I honestly could not employ someone like that because they would make my life more difficult and I hire people with the goal that they make my life easier. It's not about the money, I would rather pay someone a higher wage than have to think about such a petty reimbursement and it sounds like that is what you think your situation is.

FYI a lot of jobs do not reimburse at the IRS rate so don't necessarily go off of that. If she is being paid generously already, I would reimburse her at a rate that's between her fuel cost and the IRS rate and say that's mileage reimbursement.

I live in the NYC area and it is common though I would not say standard to provide PT nannies with some holiday and vacation benefits. Whether yes or no and how much boil down to how much you value the nanny and want to retain her. She doesn't work that many hours for you and you've mentioned she prefers housework so it sounds like she's not close to your kids either. OTOH she has been with your family a long time. Plus, she relies on the income you provide her, and even though it is not the majority of her income, $900+ monthly is nothing to sniff at. I would offer her something, but not the full benefits that a FT nanny gets, so that you have room to expand the benefits for retention purposes in future years. Such as you will pay her for up to two weeks when your family goes on vacation, but no more than that and not for her vacation. I would also reimburse her for mileage. That would be it for now. And if you don't love this nanny (I'm not getting that vibe), maybe look into hiring a replacement?

OP here, thanks! This is very useful advice. I'm very flexible with her, she takes off multiple months to travel to her home country around the holidays, I help her with personal issues, and give her things for her grandson...not that she is asking me to pay her while she is on vacation (just when we are), but when she needs something I'm always there to help. I've also overlooked long stretches of time when she would arrive up to 15 minutes late and never took anything out of her pay. I guess that's what it is, I resent the nickel and diming UNLESS it's industry standard, and it sounds like I should pay her mileage but not necessarily vacations and holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

Yes, and that is almost $50 a month. Would you be happy paying that out of pocket for your job?

That's $12 for the IRS reimbursement rate. Unless she drives a very expensive car that only uses Premium fuel, her real costs are much lower.

But when I posted the bolded part above, it was actually aimed at the MD, suggesting that she just pay it.

I think it is appropriate yet at the same time petty on her part to ask you for the mileage reimbursement if she is truly going only five miles R/T out of her way (and it's an easy drive without traffic), especially if you are paying her a generous wage. I honestly could not employ someone like that because they would make my life more difficult and I hire people with the goal that they make my life easier. It's not about the money, I would rather pay someone a higher wage than have to think about such a petty reimbursement and it sounds like that is what you think your situation is.

FYI a lot of jobs do not reimburse at the IRS rate so don't necessarily go off of that. If she is being paid generously already, I would reimburse her at a rate that's between her fuel cost and the IRS rate and say that's mileage reimbursement.

I live in the NYC area and it is common though I would not say standard to provide PT nannies with some holiday and vacation benefits. Whether yes or no and how much boil down to how much you value the nanny and want to retain her. She doesn't work that many hours for you and you've mentioned she prefers housework so it sounds like she's not close to your kids either. OTOH she has been with your family a long time. Plus, she relies on the income you provide her, and even though it is not the majority of her income, $900+ monthly is nothing to sniff at. I would offer her something, but not the full benefits that a FT nanny gets, so that you have room to expand the benefits for retention purposes in future years. Such as you will pay her for up to two weeks when your family goes on vacation, but no more than that and not for her vacation. I would also reimburse her for mileage. That would be it for now. And if you don't love this nanny (I'm not getting that vibe), maybe look into hiring a replacement?

OP here, thanks! This is very useful advice. I'm very flexible with her, she takes off multiple months to travel to her home country around the holidays, I help her with personal issues, and give her things for her grandson...not that she is asking me to pay her while she is on vacation (just when we are), but when she needs something I'm always there to help. I've also overlooked long stretches of time when she would arrive up to 15 minutes late and never took anything out of her pay. I guess that's what it is, I resent the nickel and diming UNLESS it's industry standard, and it sounds like I should pay her mileage but not necessarily vacations and holidays.

You are reserving her time and it is her income. Paying her while you are on vacation is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Does she guarantee this time to you? If so then you should guarantee her pay. If she takes off at least 4 weeks a year, then I don't think you need to guarantee her pay. Would you care is she did't come in next week because she will be working a temp job for more money? I think the biggest question is, do you value her? Do you want to retain her? If yes, then you should offer her guaranteed pay (as long as she is offering guaranteed availability with a reasonable amount of time off) and the little extra for mileage reimbursement. If you'd be fine if she found a more reliable part time position and quit, then you have no need to work with her on this issue. When is the last time she was given a raise? I do believe that plays a role in this as well.

I personally believe that these benefits should be given to any nanny that guarantees their time to a family, not just full time nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

Yes, and that is almost $50 a month. Would you be happy paying that out of pocket for your job?

That's $12 for the IRS reimbursement rate. Unless she drives a very expensive car that only uses Premium fuel, her real costs are much lower.

But when I posted the bolded part above, it was actually aimed at the MD, suggesting that she just pay it.

I think it is appropriate yet at the same time petty on her part to ask you for the mileage reimbursement if she is truly going only five miles R/T out of her way (and it's an easy drive without traffic), especially if you are paying her a generous wage. I honestly could not employ someone like that because they would make my life more difficult and I hire people with the goal that they make my life easier. It's not about the money, I would rather pay someone a higher wage than have to think about such a petty reimbursement and it sounds like that is what you think your situation is.

FYI a lot of jobs do not reimburse at the IRS rate so don't necessarily go off of that. If she is being paid generously already, I would reimburse her at a rate that's between her fuel cost and the IRS rate and say that's mileage reimbursement.

I live in the NYC area and it is common though I would not say standard to provide PT nannies with some holiday and vacation benefits. Whether yes or no and how much boil down to how much you value the nanny and want to retain her. She doesn't work that many hours for you and you've mentioned she prefers housework so it sounds like she's not close to your kids either. OTOH she has been with your family a long time. Plus, she relies on the income you provide her, and even though it is not the majority of her income, $900+ monthly is nothing to sniff at. I would offer her something, but not the full benefits that a FT nanny gets, so that you have room to expand the benefits for retention purposes in future years. Such as you will pay her for up to two weeks when your family goes on vacation, but no more than that and not for her vacation. I would also reimburse her for mileage. That would be it for now. And if you don't love this nanny (I'm not getting that vibe), maybe look into hiring a replacement?

OP here, thanks! This is very useful advice. I'm very flexible with her, she takes off multiple months to travel to her home country around the holidays, I help her with personal issues, and give her things for her grandson...not that she is asking me to pay her while she is on vacation (just when we are), but when she needs something I'm always there to help. I've also overlooked long stretches of time when she would arrive up to 15 minutes late and never took anything out of her pay. I guess that's what it is, I resent the nickel and diming UNLESS it's industry standard, and it sounds like I should pay her mileage but not necessarily vacations and holidays.

13:31 here. She takes 2+ months off at a time and I'm guessing you have to arrange back-up help when she is gone? Employees especially in her field do not get 2+ months vacation, whether paid or unpaid, because that is a HUGE CHUNK of the year and terribly inconvenient for the employer...! THAT is her employment benefit. If I were in your shoes, I would point this out to her and be even less generous than I originally suggested. I would still give her mileage reimbursement (that is a given), but not my prior suggestion of 2 weeks of paid vacation when your family is traveling. Employment is a two-way street. By paying her when your family is away, you are saying to her "you can rely on me (the wages I pay you) even when I'm gone." But by her taking so much discretionary leave, she is sending you the message that You cannot rely on Her. Having said that, I am a bit of a harda**, you might piss your nanny off if you take my approach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, 5 miles out of her way x 5 days a week is like $12.00.

Yes, and that is almost $50 a month. Would you be happy paying that out of pocket for your job?

That's $12 for the IRS reimbursement rate. Unless she drives a very expensive car that only uses Premium fuel, her real costs are much lower.

But when I posted the bolded part above, it was actually aimed at the MD, suggesting that she just pay it.

I think it is appropriate yet at the same time petty on her part to ask you for the mileage reimbursement if she is truly going only five miles R/T out of her way (and it's an easy drive without traffic), especially if you are paying her a generous wage. I honestly could not employ someone like that because they would make my life more difficult and I hire people with the goal that they make my life easier. It's not about the money, I would rather pay someone a higher wage than have to think about such a petty reimbursement and it sounds like that is what you think your situation is.

FYI a lot of jobs do not reimburse at the IRS rate so don't necessarily go off of that. If she is being paid generously already, I would reimburse her at a rate that's between her fuel cost and the IRS rate and say that's mileage reimbursement.

I live in the NYC area and it is common though I would not say standard to provide PT nannies with some holiday and vacation benefits. Whether yes or no and how much boil down to how much you value the nanny and want to retain her. She doesn't work that many hours for you and you've mentioned she prefers housework so it sounds like she's not close to your kids either. OTOH she has been with your family a long time. Plus, she relies on the income you provide her, and even though it is not the majority of her income, $900+ monthly is nothing to sniff at. I would offer her something, but not the full benefits that a FT nanny gets, so that you have room to expand the benefits for retention purposes in future years. Such as you will pay her for up to two weeks when your family goes on vacation, but no more than that and not for her vacation. I would also reimburse her for mileage. That would be it for now. And if you don't love this nanny (I'm not getting that vibe), maybe look into hiring a replacement?

OP here, thanks! This is very useful advice. I'm very flexible with her, she takes off multiple months to travel to her home country around the holidays, I help her with personal issues, and give her things for her grandson...not that she is asking me to pay her while she is on vacation (just when we are), but when she needs something I'm always there to help. I've also overlooked long stretches of time when she would arrive up to 15 minutes late and never took anything out of her pay. I guess that's what it is, I resent the nickel and diming UNLESS it's industry standard, and it sounds like I should pay her mileage but not necessarily vacations and holidays.

You are reserving her time and it is her income. Paying her while you are on vacation is reasonable.

13:31 again. OP is not really reserving the nanny's time if nanny can take off for two months at a time...

[Anonymous]

OP here, 2 months is not consecutive but it's around the holidays (Nov-Jan timeframe). She does count on the income. I last gave her a raise from $20 to $21/hour in September 2015. I would be OK if she quit and found something else. She's gone through several part-time gigs and they didn't work out...I know one was because the nanny said the mom was too controlling.

[Anonymous]

OP again, I told her I would pay her $3/day in gas (slightly above the IRS rate) and she said, "OK, what about the week before?" Now I have to figure it out retroactively. Annoying but not unexpected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, I told her I would pay her $3/day in gas (slightly above the IRS rate) and she said, "OK, what about the week before?" Now I have to figure it out retroactively. Annoying but not unexpected.

Yes, you pay retroactive. You sound annoying.