DB treats me like Im his wife

[Anonymous]

I personally think there lies some form of attraction on his part.

Trust me on this:
No married man should ever invite the nanny for dinner/wine sans the kiddos.

Does his wife know about this??
I wouldn't do overnights if his wife isn't there.

He would have easy access to your room and that is a recipe for extreme disaster.

I see lots of red flags here.

Careful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will you guys please stop with this troll stuff? I do NOT think he is looking for an affair and I am not interested in one with him. I am only irritated by him and feel like he is connected to me some way emotionally because of watching me with his children. My issue is I feel like boundaries will continue to stretch and I need advice on how to reset them without causing offense. Everything is not about sex. Get your brains out of the gutter.

I usually try to laugh off or straight ignore little remarks he makes like "Debra never puts things in the same place twice" or "Debra can never get him to listen to her but you can" just things that I feel are insults to her but I don't think he is intentionally wanting to insult her. I don't think some fathers realize we are professionals in the childcare field for a reason and they work where they work for a reason. Giving birth doesn't mean everything will be done perfect. Of course I'm not going to say that to him but he acts like his wife doesn't work just as many hours as he does.

I'm just wanting to vent a little and see if others have been in this situation and how they maneuvered it without getting fired

If you aren't a troll, you are as naive as they come. Good luck, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think there lies some form of attraction on his part.

Trust me on this:
No married man should ever invite the nanny for dinner/wine sans the kiddos.

Does his wife know about this??
I wouldn't do overnights if his wife isn't there.

He would have easy access to your room and that is a recipe for extreme disaster.

I see lots of red flags here.

Careful!

Oh please.
I'm all for everyone sitting together for dinner, however sometimes that doesn't happen. Depending on how old the kids are and what time their bedtime is, the nanny might eat after they go to bed. It's probably more relaxing and she can eat in peace anyway.
If DB gets home after the kids go to bed, I honestly don't see anything wrong with DB and nanny having dinner together. Or drinking a glass of wine with dinner.
You people are so uptight.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would just tell him that you have a boyfriend even if you don't and talk about the boyfriend- just make it clear you aren't interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think there lies some form of attraction on his part.

Trust me on this:
No married man should ever invite the nanny for dinner/wine sans the kiddos.

Does his wife know about this??
I wouldn't do overnights if his wife isn't there.

He would have easy access to your room and that is a recipe for extreme disaster.

I see lots of red flags here.

Careful!

Thank you that's exactly how I feel about it. I'm not sure if she knows or not about him offering wine and I really don't know how it would be received if I mentioned it. The overnights only occur because she has to travel and he travels and their days overlap. So it's because he will have a car picking him up around 4/5 am so they ask me to stay versus coming to work 5 hours early. But that will be what I will do from now on.

I've mentioned having a boyfriend and felt like he completely overlooked it which also made me feel like he isn't interested in me that way just being overly friendly. But on the same token if he is being intentionally inappropriate while he is married, my having a boyfriend won't phase him at all. I suppose there is no way to address this with them without making things awkward so I'll just have to keep my distance. I just feel so strange because she and I get along so well and I feel like I'm in on some weird secret because he doesn't even acknowledge my existence when she is around which made me think he was up to no good. So yeah i guess I was a bit naive ugh I really like this job aside from this...

Is there anyone who would speak directly to him though? Or would I be putting my foot in my mouth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think there lies some form of attraction on his part.

Trust me on this:
No married man should ever invite the nanny for dinner/wine sans the kiddos.

Does his wife know about this??
I wouldn't do overnights if his wife isn't there.

He would have easy access to your room and that is a recipe for extreme disaster.

I see lots of red flags here.

Careful!

Oh please.
I'm all for everyone sitting together for dinner, however sometimes that doesn't happen. Depending on how old the kids are and what time their bedtime is, the nanny might eat after they go to bed. It's probably more relaxing and she can eat in peace anyway.
If DB gets home after the kids go to bed, I honestly don't see anything wrong with DB and nanny having dinner together. Or drinking a glass of wine with dinner.
You people are so uptight.

Whenever this has happened the kids are always down already. I leave early on my overnight evenings and come back later on around 9 or so and he will still have food out or offer to get some out. I eat late myself and just bring my own and prefer to eat alone in my room or in the kitchen after he is out of it. But when I do that he comes back to get something and then will chat. I honestly just thought he wanted me to feel comfortable around him initially but now I just feel like because they don't see each other enough he is putting it on me instead. Like wanting some feminine energy or something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think there lies some form of attraction on his part.

Trust me on this:
No married man should ever invite the nanny for dinner/wine sans the kiddos.

Does his wife know about this??
I wouldn't do overnights if his wife isn't there.

He would have easy access to your room and that is a recipe for extreme disaster.

I see lots of red flags here.

Careful!

Oh please.
I'm all for everyone sitting together for dinner, however sometimes that doesn't happen. Depending on how old the kids are and what time their bedtime is, the nanny might eat after they go to bed. It's probably more relaxing and she can eat in peace anyway.
If DB gets home after the kids go to bed, I honestly don't see anything wrong with DB and nanny having dinner together. Or drinking a glass of wine with dinner.
You people are so uptight.

Whenever this has happened the kids are always down already. I leave early on my overnight evenings and come back later on around 9 or so and he will still have food out or offer to get some out. I eat late myself and just bring my own and prefer to eat alone in my room or in the kitchen after he is out of it. But when I do that he comes back to get something and then will chat. I honestly just thought he wanted me to feel comfortable around him initially but now I just feel like because they don't see each other enough he is putting it on me instead. Like wanting some feminine energy or something

I'm the PP.
Maybe you're just reading too much into it.
To me it sounds like he's just being nice - offering you dinner knowing you're not home to make your own. Maybe he thinks you are uncomfortable to make something there or whatever. It really seems like he's just being nice.
When you leave after the kids are down and then come back, he doesn't know if you went out to have dinner or run an errand, so he offers you food. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

This is quite common. I too was plied with wine, but my DB did it in front of his fiance'
I knew he was interested in me and he would do the same as your DB make little comments about
me 'terms of endearments' in front of everyone. To me it was blantantly obvious - but the
fiance was clueless. This family drank alot so it was strange for me as I wasn't used to that
lifestyle. They had wine fridges with their expensive wine collections.

I think it was all about the fantasy. Their's was a dysfunctional relationship and I believe he
was lonlely, unsatisfied and seeing someone else look after his kids makes him think about
what else is out there.

I am the poster from the 'Writing a book - INPUT' thread and I deal with this topic in the
book I am writing.