13 m.o. sent to bed hungry

[Anonymous]

Who taught the kid that? I doubt it was the nanny.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the camp that if they're hungry they'll eat. They may not eat everything offered but they'll eat something. It's not at all unusual for toddlers to have days where they eat three bites ask day then other days when they eat so much you can't keep up.

Since your asked for tips, and here's mine. Have the nanny serve less food at a time. Instead of half a sandwich and a banana for example, offer one or two banana slices and one or two pieces of the sandwich. Offer more when that gets eaten. If nothing else is less mess to clean off the floor. Also cutting the crust off might help. I don't normally advocate that but sometimes I do it to get kids to eat when they're not eating much. Make sure the food is appealing; add extra jam if you need to for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is abuse in my book and I would have reported her and fired her as well.

+1 to firing. Has your nanny worked with older babies before? She clearly does not know how to feed one.

[Anonymous]

Babies throw food. The nanny should be fired and should not work with babies. Clearly she does not have adequate training.

[D-ATX]

Expecting table manners from a 13m.o is ridiculous. It's a given that children are messy and gross. In my opinion, if you like everything else about your nanny, I don't think this is a fireable offense - especially if she's not hiding it from you. Us nannies are human. We all come from different backgrounds where things that are acceptable in our childhoods, ideologies, cultures, etc. might not be a good fit for you; and thats OK! I do think that her method is inappropriate for the 13 m.o. I personally don't think any child should be punished or rewarded with anything involving their breakfast, lunch, dinner, or potty time. Nevertheless, she's not endangering your child's life. I think you and the nanny can talk this out and brainstorm. However, you have ultimate authority if she can't adjust.

In my experience, I have always used the "more", "all done" sign language. So if the child is doing things that do not involve eating, then I would ask, "Are you all done? *insert sign*" The kiddos pick up on it really quickly. When they're "done" you dismiss them from the table, but the option to return to the table and eat is still left open until everyone else is finished. At that point, if you think the 13m.o is short on calories, then you can reintroduce a bottle. My 2-year-old charge always followed his meals with a bottle of whole milk.

However, if she is indeed eating and is just messy, then leave her be. Everything is a learning experience, even blowing the raspberries. There's nothing wrong with starting to introduce table manners to practice, but it shouldn't be a punishable thing. Let kids be kids. You might not get to go out to a restaurant with your kiddos for a while, but I think that's a small price to pay. They'll have the rest of their lives to conform to social norms.

[Anonymous]

We have been struggling with table manners ever since DD2 (13 m.o) began solid foods at 6 months. She will eat but also likes to throw food on the floor. DD2 learned to blow raspberries a few months back and ends up spewing food in the process.

Sounds pretty average to me for that age. She certainly isn't going to make the correlation between her perfectly normal 13 month behavior and going to bed hungry.

Strategy: Give her a few bites of food on her tray at a time, and remind her to eat nicely. With both of my kids at this age I was still feeding them sometimes while they played with whatever was on their tray.

[Anonymous]

When the child wants to play, but needs to eat, child gets a spoon in each hand and I spoonfeed, or they have a soft washable toy and I spoonfeed.

If the infant/toddler drops food, it's cleaned up, but not an issue.

If a cup or utensil is thrown, the child is reminded once that we don't throw things, we use them. If it's thrown a second time, we wave good-bye and place it on the counter for 2 minutes in line of sight, then the child may try again.

When food is thrown, it's picked up, washed off and handed back to the child enough times that the child realizes throwing it isn't going to make it go away. If it's not something I can wash, I make sure that all pieces are very small and keep giving some to the child.

Never put more than three things on the tray with a child who throws food.

Hitting a spoon or spitting/blowing raspberries warrants being turned to face away from everyone else.

A plastic shower curtain under the highchair makes cleanup so much faster and easier!

Child eats in just a onesie, and it's stripped off before we go upstairs to change the diaper. Onesie goes into the laundry room sink to soak til next load.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who taught the kid that? I doubt it was the nanny.

Nanny should have taught the kid since she was the one spending so much time with him/her.