How many nannies have you had?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I ask because I worry about attachment issues. DD1 who is 3. Has a hard time changing to new people. Our first nanny was with her since she was 6 weeks.

Your consideration, OP, is indeed extremely important. Good that you care about this. Mosst NFs don't.

[Anonymous]

Our amazing nanny has been with us for over ten years. We are blessed and our children adore her. I am so glad it worked out this way for all of us but especially for my kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, will you be able to stay in touch with the nanny who's leaving?

My NF (we're great friends) had au-pairs since the youngest kids were 1 and 2.

Au-pair 1: stayed a year, left amicably enough, didn't truly keep in touch except for a few random visits several years later - altogether a positive experience.
Au-pair 2: stayed a year, then rented the basement apartment while she studied locally. Ended in disaster - the actual au-pair time was good, the rest awful. Didn't keep in touch.
Au-pair 3: stayed a year, fantastic experience, part of the family and all that. Stayed in touch, I visit them to this day and it's been over ten years ago.
Au-pair 4: left mid-year as she was homesick, but altogether good experience.
Nanny: stayed almost a year until she went to uni. Fantastic experience, stayed in touch, visit all the time, etc.
Au-pair 5: only stayed three months, wasn't a good fit. Didn't stay in touch, but not a negative experience.
Nanny: came to cover for a few months.
Au-pair 6: stayed a year, good experience at first but then it went downhill a bit. She later wrote a heartfelt apology to the kids and the family for the things that had gone wrong, came for a visit. Though they don't stay in touch other than on facebook, that really helped repair the bad taste that was left at the end of her time.
Nanny: came to cover for the summer months until the new au-pair's arrival.
Au-pair 7: mediocre relationship, the kids didn't really like her and didn't have an excellent relationship with the family. Left kind of badly but nothing scandalous. Didn't keep in touch.
Nanny: came to cover for the summer.

Now the kids are in full-time school so need to nannies or au-pairs, but altogether the whole thing has been very beneficial to them. They're curious and open, and because the nanny and I stayed in touch with them over so many years and are still very close friends, I can definitely tell that they haven't been harmed in any way. If anything the experience with the later apologised au-pair showed them that people grow and learn.

The family always made sure to talk about the new nannies coming in a positive key, getting the kids excited, remember the good things they did with all their nannies. They also always had at least a week of handover when both au-pairs were there, so the transition was as seamless as possible.

Don't worry about your child not attaching straight away, OP. It does take time, sometimes, but if you let the old nanny prepare her, give her time to adjust to the thought of someone new coming to play with her, it will be alright. It's much more harmful to not let the leaving nanny say goodbye to the kids, or talk about her very negatively in front of the kids.

[Anonymous]

I worked for a family where the child had had a lot of nannies in a short space of time. It really seemed to make her insecure. She was 20mths when I started and I was her 5th nanny! Her experience with nannies went like this-

first nanny: little S was 2mths old. Nanny lasted 2wks. Nanny was very sweet but had not common sense. She handed her notice in right before the parents were going to let her go.
second nanny: it was a temp nanny. She had S was 3mths old until 5mths. Parents loved the nanny but she had already commited to another family
from 5mths to 6mths old she went to daycare but parents didn't like it
third nanny: stayed 6mths from when S was 6mths old up til her 1st birthday. Left as the family moved countries.
fourth nanny: started 8mths from when S was 12mths-20mths. Left as she wanted to go move in with her boyfriend
fifth nanny: I stayed 13mths. From when S was 20mths until 2.10yrs.They also had number 2 during that time and she was 7mths when I let. I left as they expected me too work 65-70hr wks and I didn't feel it was fair for them to expect one person to cover all those hours. I know they went through another 3 nannies with 4mths of me leaving

[Anonymous]

Two.

First one from when the kids were 4 mths old until they were almost 3 1/2. She got increasingly less able to cope as they grew.

Let her go and hired someone else who has been with us for 6 months now.

Both nannies were trustworthy, love our kids, etc... They have very different strengths and weaknesses. The current nanny would not have been good w/ infants/babies but she is great w/ preschoolers in a way the first nanny could not begin to handle.

First nanny is still in our kids' lives a bit - but it would have been totally fine for them if she weren't. The transition was fine also.

Just manage it well OP and you'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One. Almost four years now.

Us too. I am dreading the day that the second one ages up and we have to part ways. I wish we could afford to keep her indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

One nanny, for almost 3 years. We are very, very lucky, and try very hard to be good employers.

Don't really know about abandonment issues (pretty extreme, no?), but less than ideal especially since it takes a while to adjust to a new nanny, and for a new nanny to learn about the child and the family. Everytime there's a switch in nannies, there's time and energy lost, not to mention a few hectic weeks when parents scramble to find childcare in between nannies.