How many nannies have you had?

[Anonymous]

We had an awesome nanny for 2+ years who moved on but still keeps in touch. Our current nanny of 8mo just said she's moving home to another state. She's been great but now we are faced with finding a 3rd nanny. How many nannies have you had?

[Anonymous]

OP, can I ask a question? Okay, a few more.

Why do you want to know?

Do you have particular concerns about a (specific age) child adapting to a third nanny?

Do you have specific concerns about how to find and hire a long-term nanny?

You've obviously not done anything wrong as employers, why would anyone else's "number" matter?

[Anonymous]

Lol.

We are about the same as you. I would no worry about turnover. Kids have different teachers every year. I was in your situation and someone I trust told me that it is fine. Nannies do eventually move on and it is worse if they stay longer then move on. I've heard that it is like a death in the family. You don't want that.

Important thing is that kids are happy and they have a routine.

Daycare turnover is worse. Head teacher might stay for years but kids bond with the other workers too then they just disappear without even saying bye.

[Anonymous]

This is like asking how many ex's others have had to find out if you are a slut in comparison.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. Op, it is ok if it was love. Number doesn't matter if you were being real.

[Anonymous]

One. Almost four years now.

[Anonymous]

One fantastic nanny for two years - since DS was born. We have been extremely lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol.

We are about the same as you. I would no worry about turnover. Kids have different teachers every year. I was in your situation and someone I trust told me that it is fine. Nannies do eventually move on and it is worse if they stay longer then move on. I've heard that it is like a death in the family. You don't want that.

Important thing is that kids are happy and they have a routine.

Daycare turnover is worse. Head teacher might stay for years but kids bond with the other workers too then they just disappear without even saying bye.

Kids do, but they are not with teachers when they are infants 10hrs a day, 48 weeks a year.

We've had one nanny 5 years now, since our 2nd child was 10 weeks old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol.

We are about the same as you. I would no worry about turnover. Kids have different teachers every year. I was in your situation and someone I trust told me that it is fine. Nannies do eventually move on and it is worse if they stay longer then move on. I've heard that it is like a death in the family. You don't want that.

Important thing is that kids are happy and they have a routine.

Daycare turnover is worse. Head teacher might stay for years but kids bond with the other workers too then they just disappear without even saying bye.

Kids do, but they are not with teachers when they are infants 10hrs a day, 48 weeks a year.

We've had one nanny 5 years now, since our 2nd child was 10 weeks old.

If you look at it that way, then you should just stay home and be a SAHM to guarantee that your kids' caregiver will stay around forever. What are you going to do when your nanny finally leaves?

[Anonymous]

We've had a lot! Here's our list:
Nanny 1: "A". She was with us from DS1 4 mos - DS1 15 mos. We moved out of state.
Nanny 2: "L". She was with us for about 5 months, until DS2 was 9 mos. My work schedule changed and she couldn't work those hours; we referred her to a friend and she continued to visit/babysit.
Nanny 3: "K". With us for a total of about 4.5 yrs, but it was interrupted by a period when she tried a new career path. She worked with us from when DS1 was about 2.75 and DS2 about 9 months all the way to when DS1 was 7 and DS2 turned 5. Along the way, we had DD1 and DD2 as well.
Nanny 4: "M". Worked for us during break in "K"'s time with us. "M" lasted about 9 months. She was okay but not great, did some stuff that seemed like questionable judgment, then finally did a couple of things in close proximity that were truly bad judgment, so we let her go.
We had some temp nannies from the agency while looking for M's replacement.
We hired "Q" from the agency, but on the day she started, she got a phone call, then said she changed her mind and couldn't take the job. (It was a really shady agency - we learned our lesson - never using them again.)
While we were looking on our own for M's replacement, Nanny K returned because her new career wasn't heading in the direction she hoped. I won't count her again.
We hired nanny "J" after K returned to school, but she literally lasted two days, because on day 2 of her job she asked to be paid under the table, despite us having been exceedingly clear.
Nanny 5: "H". We hired "H", a former SAHM who was in her late 40s, after our bad experience with "Q" and "J", in an effort to find a more mature candidate. "H" began suffering a health crisis right after she started, felt overwhelmed going back to work and managing her health, started lying to us, and flipped out. She was with us maybe 2 weeks. She literally said "I can't do this" in the middle of a work day (I happened to be working from home) and then walked out. She later sent us a letter telling us we had a poisonous house plant. (In good news, we don't feed our children house plants, so this didn't keep me up at night.)
Nanny 6: "A2". By far, one of our best nannies ever. 25 years old, high school diploma only, incredibly good nanny and very bright. Great judgment, great about pretty much everything. Unfortunately for us, she and her boyfriend moved four hours away, but we still stay in touch. She was only with us for about 7 months. We plan to visit her this summer again while on vacation; we were just exchanging texts last night.
Nanny 7: "A3". We let her go after a year as it was not a good fit. She was very well intentioned and kind, but it wasn't working out.
Nanny 8: "R", summer nanny. Her job ends a week from now. We'll then be on to nanny 9, "C", who our kids have gotten to know through babysitting.

Now - 9 nannies seems like a lot! That said, we've had nannies for nine years now. We had great parting relationships with A, L, K, A3, soon to be R, and even a good parting relationship with A2 despite letting her go. We did not care to continue communicating with Q, J, or H. Clearly I was off on my hiring during that stretch! We seem to be back on the right path though and our kids are none the worse for wear. I think they've benefitted from having some really interesting and fun different people in their lives. It was HARD saying goodbye to the one who was with us for a total of 4.5 years, but it wasn't so much goodbye as "goodbye full time, but see you once in a while" (she just had her first baby and plans to come introduce her to our kids). It was not as hard parting with others who had been around for a year or so. A bit of a change curve, but no real sense of "you've been with us for as long as we can remember!".

So, I guess the point of all this is to say: there can be good reasons for a lot of change on the nanny front. Unless your children are also changing PARENTS annually, I truly don't think they're being harmed but it. Our kids still have the benefit of the relationship with the "good eggs" among the bunch, so it's never been a permanent loss. They don't feel abandoned or unloved. They're very warm, outgoing children. Not quite a scarred by the experience as some night suggest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol.

We are about the same as you. I would no worry about turnover. Kids have different teachers every year. I was in your situation and someone I trust told me that it is fine. Nannies do eventually move on and it is worse if they stay longer then move on. I've heard that it is like a death in the family. You don't want that.

Important thing is that kids are happy and they have a routine.

Daycare turnover is worse. Head teacher might stay for years but kids bond with the other workers too then they just disappear without even saying bye.

Kids do, but they are not with teachers when they are infants 10hrs a day, 48 weeks a year.

We've had one nanny 5 years now, since our 2nd child was 10 weeks old.

If you look at it that way, then you should just stay home and be a SAHM to guarantee that your kids' caregiver will stay around forever. What are you going to do when your nanny finally leaves?

My youngest is entering school FT. Our nanny is now doing half with us and a PT gig. She got us through the critical early years when consistency is most critical.

It's no longer a concern. We choose wisely and provide.a.good comp plan and good work environment.

[Anonymous]

1. Over 7 years now. This will be the last unless we get crazy lucky in finding someone who needs her for early hours or wants to share after school once littlest is in K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've had a lot! Here's our list:
Nanny 1: "A". She was with us from DS1 4 mos - DS1 15 mos. We moved out of state.
Nanny 2: "L". She was with us for about 5 months, until DS2 was 9 mos. My work schedule changed and she couldn't work those hours; we referred her to a friend and she continued to visit/babysit.
Nanny 3: "K". With us for a total of about 4.5 yrs, but it was interrupted by a period when she tried a new career path. She worked with us from when DS1 was about 2.75 and DS2 about 9 months all the way to when DS1 was 7 and DS2 turned 5. Along the way, we had DD1 and DD2 as well.
Nanny 4: "M". Worked for us during break in "K"'s time with us. "M" lasted about 9 months. She was okay but not great, did some stuff that seemed like questionable judgment, then finally did a couple of things in close proximity that were truly bad judgment, so we let her go.
We had some temp nannies from the agency while looking for M's replacement.
We hired "Q" from the agency, but on the day she started, she got a phone call, then said she changed her mind and couldn't take the job. (It was a really shady agency - we learned our lesson - never using them again.)
While we were looking on our own for M's replacement, Nanny K returned because her new career wasn't heading in the direction she hoped. I won't count her again.
We hired nanny "J" after K returned to school, but she literally lasted two days, because on day 2 of her job she asked to be paid under the table, despite us having been exceedingly clear.
Nanny 5: "H". We hired "H", a former SAHM who was in her late 40s, after our bad experience with "Q" and "J", in an effort to find a more mature candidate. "H" began suffering a health crisis right after she started, felt overwhelmed going back to work and managing her health, started lying to us, and flipped out. She was with us maybe 2 weeks. She literally said "I can't do this" in the middle of a work day (I happened to be working from home) and then walked out. She later sent us a letter telling us we had a poisonous house plant. (In good news, we don't feed our children house plants, so this didn't keep me up at night.)
Nanny 6: "A2". By far, one of our best nannies ever. 25 years old, high school diploma only, incredibly good nanny and very bright. Great judgment, great about pretty much everything. Unfortunately for us, she and her boyfriend moved four hours away, but we still stay in touch. She was only with us for about 7 months. We plan to visit her this summer again while on vacation; we were just exchanging texts last night.
Nanny 7: "A3". We let her go after a year as it was not a good fit. She was very well intentioned and kind, but it wasn't working out.
Nanny 8: "R", summer nanny. Her job ends a week from now. We'll then be on to nanny 9, "C", who our kids have gotten to know through babysitting.

Now - 9 nannies seems like a lot! That said, we've had nannies for nine years now. We had great parting relationships with A, L, K, A3, soon to be R, and even a good parting relationship with A2 despite letting her go. We did not care to continue communicating with Q, J, or H. Clearly I was off on my hiring during that stretch! We seem to be back on the right path though and our kids are none the worse for wear. I think they've benefitted from having some really interesting and fun different people in their lives. It was HARD saying goodbye to the one who was with us for a total of 4.5 years, but it wasn't so much goodbye as "goodbye full time, but see you once in a while" (she just had her first baby and plans to come introduce her to our kids). It was not as hard parting with others who had been around for a year or so. A bit of a change curve, but no real sense of "you've been with us for as long as we can remember!".

So, I guess the point of all this is to say: there can be good reasons for a lot of change on the nanny front. Unless your children are also changing PARENTS annually, I truly don't think they're being harmed but it. Our kids still have the benefit of the relationship with the "good eggs" among the bunch, so it's never been a permanent loss. They don't feel abandoned or unloved. They're very warm, outgoing children. Not quite a scarred by the experience as some night suggest!

I won't type ours out but ours is like this too. Average of 1 year/nanny. We had a part time nanny so usually the nannies are pursuing something on the side, like school then they turn full time into the other thing and leave us (like becoming a full time teacher). Our kids turned out wonderful as well.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I ask because I worry about attachment issues. DD1 who is 3. Has a hard time changing to new people. Our first nanny was with her since she was 6 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I ask because I worry about attachment issues. DD1 who is 3. Has a hard time changing to new people. Our first nanny was with her since she was 6 weeks.

There are all kinds of people out there. If you are worried about this, I would get a style of nanny who is more grandmotherly and huggy and loving rather than the disciplinarian. He will get attached super fast. If your kid is of average in terms of attachment, I would not worry too much at this age.