3 family Nanny Share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point? Who is to benefit from such an arrangement?

...Certainly not the babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids and we had a temporary nanny who brought her child, who was between my two in terms of age. I will say that the logistics of 3 car seats, 3 kids/babies who need to be carried and/or rolled is limiting. A three way share would work if you don't expect the nanny to drive the kids around - sticking only to things in the neighborhood. A double stroller + the third baby in a carrier would be a must if you can't find a triple stroller (do those even exist?).

Again, for three unrelated babies, do you imagine this would likely be good for the three babies?

I don't think OP is look for a debate on the merits of this for her child(ren) - just input on the logistics.

But if you send your baby to daycare then you get at least this number of infants in any given setting so a triple share is not necessarily significantly different from that.

Hence, "The Hell of American Daycare."

[Anonymous]

I think that financially, this doesn't make a lot of sense. As others have pointed out, the ratio isn't that much different than a daycare. However, if I were the nanny in that share, I'd probably want to be making close to $30/hr total (so $10/hr from each family). Assuming 40 hrs a week, that's $400/week per family before you even get into things like benefits, taxes, etc. You can absolutely find a home daycare for that price, and get essentially the same ratio and care for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point? Who is to benefit from such an arrangement?

OP again. The point? The point as I mentioned is that all three sets of parents get along very well, feel like we have similar expectations for our children and families, have similar work schedules, live within a 5 block radius of each other and would love it we could figure out a way to share childcare, BUT only if that is feasible and reasonable and if in fact we all do benefit from said arrangement. That's precisely why I raised the question, to find out if it is beneficial to anyone, parents, babies, and nanny, involved or if it's nuts to think it could work.

We're simply trying to gather as much information so we can make an informed decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am asking because I am curious if it's even a possibility both logistically and for the good of the babies and parents.

As far as "what the heck would possess you to do this?", the answer is that there are three families that get along very well, have similar expectations for their children and seem like a great fit for a share so we'd love to see if it could work. If it's not possible that is fine, and one of the three will have to figure out other arrangements.

As a group of all first time parents we are new to the childcare arena and are just trying to research, ask for insight from those who have been there and find out what is and is not possible and reasonable.

None of you have had your babies yet so you have no idea if your parenting styles will fit with each other. Many first time parents change their view of parenting after having their child. How you think you will be as a parent often changes after you're actually handed the baby. You also don't know the babies temperament. One family might end up with a colicky or a high needs infant, which will greatly impact the dynamic of the share. I think the family with the older baby should find a separate share and the two with the infants closest in age should do a share together. There is a big difference in needs between 3 and 6months. The age gap will be an issue until the children are one years old. Best keep closest in age together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am asking because I am curious if it's even a possibility both logistically and for the good of the babies and parents.

As far as "what the heck would possess you to do this?", the answer is that there are three families that get along very well, have similar expectations for their children and seem like a great fit for a share so we'd love to see if it could work. If it's not possible that is fine, and one of the three will have to figure out other arrangements.

As a group of all first time parents we are new to the childcare arena and are just trying to research, ask for insight from those who have been there and find out what is and is not possible and reasonable.

None of you have had your babies yet so you have no idea if your parenting styles will fit with each other. Many first time parents change their view of parenting after having their child. How you think you will be as a parent often changes after you're actually handed the baby. You also don't know the babies temperament. One family might end up with a colicky or a high needs infant, which will greatly impact the dynamic of the share. I think the family with the older baby should find a separate share and the two with the infants closest in age should do a share together. There is a big difference in needs between 3 and 6months. The age gap will be an issue until the children are one years old. Best keep closest in age together.

Thank you. This is very constructive information.

[Anonymous]

I simply can't imagine anyone (with infant care experience) could think this would be a good idea.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I've actually worked in a daycare, and I think that's where my reservations and desire to find out what people think are coming from. I think I'm the most nervous about whether or not this arrangement is realistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I've actually worked in a daycare, and I think that's where my reservations and desire to find out what people think are coming from. I think I'm the most nervous about whether or not this arrangement is realistic.

Go with your gut. Anyone who has worked in a daycare knows that if the option for a lower ratio is available it should be selected. A nanny share with three children will not be like a daycare. It will be more personal and the nanny will have to follow each parenting style individually, which means there is no buffer of a director or policies. The families will have to figure out any issues and hope the solution works for the nanny. I can absolutely see this entire arrangement going sour. One family will always feel like their child isn't getting enough attention or annoyed about the other child getting their child sick.
The hosting family will eventually get annoyed having to keep all that extra equipment, paying higher utility bills and paying for extra cleaning service because there is no way a nanny of three infants will be able to clean. When the children start eating all three families have to figure out meal plans, hopefully no one has allergies. If the nanny gets sick or wants to go vacation everyone needs to find alternative care. I doubt ant temp nanny would do this arrangement. The problems can go on and on. It would be a miracle if it worked and everyone was happy including the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I've actually worked in a daycare, and I think that's where my reservations and desire to find out what people think are coming from. I think I'm the most nervous about whether or not this arrangement is realistic.

Go with your gut. Anyone who has worked in a daycare knows that if the option for a lower ratio is available it should be selected. A nanny share with three children will not be like a daycare. It will be more personal and the nanny will have to follow each parenting style individually, which means there is no buffer of a director or policies. The families will have to figure out any issues and hope the solution works for the nanny. I can absolutely see this entire arrangement going sour. One family will always feel like their child isn't getting enough attention or annoyed about the other child getting their child sick.
The hosting family will eventually get annoyed having to keep all that extra equipment, paying higher utility bills and paying for extra cleaning service because there is no way a nanny of three infants will be able to clean. When the children start eating all three families have to figure out meal plans, hopefully no one has allergies. If the nanny gets sick or wants to go vacation everyone needs to find alternative care. I doubt ant temp nanny would do this arrangement. The problems can go on and on. It would be a miracle if it worked and everyone was happy including the nanny.

Thanks. Appreciate the insight and reinforcement of what I am sort of feeling!

[Anonymous]

This definitely has the potential to go sour.
Are you willing to lose friendships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This definitely has the potential to go sour.
Are you willing to lose friendships?

I'm guessing she now knows it'd be a bad idea all around.

[Anonymous]

I'm a triplet nanny, so it's definitely doable. My charges are turning 2 in a few weeks and I started with them when they were 4 weeks old. I've nannied 2 other sets of triplets and find multiples fun, but know that many people find even the thought of it overhwelming and exhausting.

That being said, in my experience (and personal opinion) there is a very small percentage of nannies that can do a job like this well, so it may be difficult to find (and keep) someone. I've had to help my current NF look for weekend nannies on more than one occasion, and we've had some crazy experiences with people who seemed like they would be good in the interview stage. Also, nanny shares are more difficult on the nanny because of having more than one set of bosses, so in that respect your position would be more difficult than my own. I have known a couple of nannies who have done 3 family shares and been very happy though.

As for the logistics-

There are several options for triple strollers, but none of them are especially cheap and each has their drawbacks. I currently use the Valco Tri Mode Twin Ex with a Joey Seat attachment and love it. All in it was about $850 with shipping/tax and the biggest Con is the Joey Seat doesn't recline, so it's only suitable for older babies and toddlers who can sit up. I've also used the Peg Perego Triplette and the ABC Adventure Buggy Triple. Both of those are nice as well but have their drawbacks.

Best of luck to you OP in whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

As a mother, I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with my baby being so young being cared for along with two other babies. He/she just wouldn't be receiving adequate time and attention that children require at that tender age. It would be like having them in a daycare setting almost. The poor child wouldn't even know the difference.

As a nanny, I wouldn't take such a position. Even if you paid me a million. I mean it. I would dread going to work every day, it would be the toughest job on the planet. The anxiety of caring for three young babies would be so overwhelming to me, I would feel just awful if anything ever happened to any ONE of them on my shift. Plus, keeping up with their needs would be tough since they cannot feed themselves and need multiple diaper changes as well as proper naps and stimulation.

You would have to pay more for a nanny to care for your child ONLY, but trust me....That's one area where you surely do not want to cut corners on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a triplet nanny, so it's definitely doable. My charges are turning 2 in a few weeks and I started with them when they were 4 weeks old. I've nannied 2 other sets of triplets and find multiples fun, but know that many people find even the thought of it overhwelming and exhausting.

That being said, in my experience (and personal opinion) there is a very small percentage of nannies that can do a job like this well, so it may be difficult to find (and keep) someone. I've had to help my current NF look for weekend nannies on more than one occasion, and we've had some crazy experiences with people who seemed like they would be good in the interview stage. Also, nanny shares are more difficult on the nanny because of having more than one set of bosses, so in that respect your position would be more difficult than my own. I have known a couple of nannies who have done 3 family shares and been very happy though.

As for the logistics-

There are several options for triple strollers, but none of them are especially cheap and each has their drawbacks. I currently use the Valco Tri Mode Twin Ex with a Joey Seat attachment and love it. All in it was about $850 with shipping/tax and the biggest Con is the Joey Seat doesn't recline, so it's only suitable for older babies and toddlers who can sit up. I've also used the Peg Perego Triplette and the ABC Adventure Buggy Triple. Both of those are nice as well but have their drawbacks.

Best of luck to you OP in whatever you decide.

Having worked with both multiples and shares, it's really apples and oranges. Shares are 100% more difficult 99% of the time.