Is this a red flag? MB's bizarre reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is a butter. Find another position and run as fast as you can. Anyone this possessive and jealous will only get worse.

Nutter not butter.

[Anonymous]

I am a different race from my charge and people always ask what made me want to adopt! Seriously, she needs to chill out a bit.

[Anonymous]

You are overreacting, OP. This is not a big deal. MB has a preference on how you dress the kid. It may be a weird request, but if this is your idea of a red flag, you need to grow some thicker skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are overreacting, OP. This is not a big deal. MB has a preference on how you dress the kid. It may be a weird request, but if this is your idea of a red flag, you need to grow some thicker skin.

Disagree. Saying, "I prefer he be in pants over shorts", not a big deal. Saying half of his onesies are off limits lest someone think you're his mom? Who is acting crazy there? It wouldn't be a reason for me to quit, but it sure as hell would irk me and have me on the lookout for more jeolous overbearing behavior. The last thing I want is my MB treating me like crap because she resents me. Your MB may get over this with time, or she may get worse, but it is most definitely her who needs thicker skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are overreacting, OP. This is not a big deal. MB has a preference on how you dress the kid. It may be a weird request, but if this is your idea of a red flag, you need to grow some thicker skin.

Disagree. Saying, "I prefer he be in pants over shorts", not a big deal. Saying half of his onesies are off limits lest someone think you're his mom? Who is acting crazy there? It wouldn't be a reason for me to quit, but it sure as hell would irk me and have me on the lookout for more jeolous overbearing behavior. The last thing I want is my MB treating me like crap because she resents me. Your MB may get over this with time, or she may get worse, but it is most definitely her who needs thicker skin.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

MB here. I agree this is odd, although you've just started so she still may be adjusting to the nanny role. I defintiely would not look for a new job over this, but I would add it to my list of concerns that should episodes continue or escalate should prevent you from thinking "it won't happen again." Don't wait until your breaking point until you look for a new job, but give her a chance to have had a bad, sleepless night or be a little hormonal at this stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are overreacting, OP. This is not a big deal. MB has a preference on how you dress the kid. It may be a weird request, but if this is your idea of a red flag, you need to grow some thicker skin.

It's not the nanny who needs to grow some thicker skin.

When you hire a nanny, you must accept the fact another adult will bond with your child. Also, sometimes people might mistake your nanny as the mother. None of that means anything, the child is still hers and a tacky outfit won't change that...


Oh wait, your the troll who always has to be the devils advocate to stir things up.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm not the troll who stirs anything up, PP. I'm someone who disagrees with you. If you don't know the difference between the two, you should probably avoid the Internet.

Even the OP admits that this incident isn't a huge deal. Read her first post if you can't remember that part. The nanny's problem is that she's projecting this into some imagined red flag that is going to require her to walk on eggshells.

It's a onsie. It isn't a big deal and encouraging the nanny to make it a big deal is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not the troll who stirs anything up, PP. I'm someone who disagrees with you. If you don't know the difference between the two, you should probably avoid the Internet.

Even the OP admits that this incident isn't a huge deal. Read her first post if you can't remember that part. The nanny's problem is that she's projecting this into some imagined red flag that is going to require her to walk on eggshells.

It's a onsie. It isn't a big deal and encouraging the nanny to make it a big deal is ridiculous.

Is not the onesie that's the concern, it's the suggestion that the mother may have a very difficult time reconciling herself to leaving her baby with a nanny - may be inclined to resent their bond - and otherwise become a toxic employer.

I posted earlier that my MB made some similarly odd requests and then relaxed and all has been fine for years. They were red flags for me, too, at the time but it all turns out fine. Hopefully this is just a transitioning challenge for the mother and she will enthusiastically encourage her nanny and child to bond.

[Anonymous]

*turned out fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not the troll who stirs anything up, PP. I'm someone who disagrees with you. If you don't know the difference between the two, you should probably avoid the Internet.

Even the OP admits that this incident isn't a huge deal. Read her first post if you can't remember that part. The nanny's problem is that she's projecting this into some imagined red flag that is going to require her to walk on eggshells.

It's a onsie. It isn't a big deal and encouraging the nanny to make it a big deal is ridiculous.

Ok, so you just lack basic comprehension skills?

OP. Don't quit. I agree with the others, it hopefully is just a phase of anxiety. Try to gauge if her behavior improves or not.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has quirks and this one is obviously your mbs quirk. I wouldn't quit over it but would make a bit of an effort to reassure your mb that the baby doesn't love her less etc

[Anonymous]

My mb's love when I put them in their outfits that say I love mommy n so on or mommy's best friend. Especially on long days she loves seeing that when she walks in and had said it shows her I'm making an effort to remember her during the day and as lo gets older she says she knows I'll talk about her with lo while she's gone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. She sounds like a classic neurotic, insecure FTM (not to mention first time employer of a nanny).

Maybe she'll calm down in time or maybe this is just the sign of equally nuts stuff to come.

Don't take it personally - I'm sure she'd be this nutty with anyone, but do keep in mind that you may decide this isn't a situation you want to stay in.

Agree. But I've never before heard of this freakish behavior, and I thought I've heard it all.