Is this a red flag? MB's bizarre reaction.
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Anonymous
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I started with NF in early August, LO was six weeks.
MB is a WAHM and can be a bit overbearing, but I think it will subside. Overall I have had no issues, she and DB are a bit distant but nice. Today I was taking NK out to the store to run some errands. I randomly just grabbed a clean and cute onsie and put it on him. Well, it was one that said, "My Mommy Loves Me" or something along those lines and as we were about to leave MB noticed the onsie and asked me why I put him in it. I told her because it was clean. What other reason would I have? Well, apparently she doesn't want me putting him in anything with the words "mommy" on it because people will assume I am his mother. So, I get him out of the carseat and change him into another onsie. Wasn't a huge deal, but makes me wonder if she is always going to be so weird about things. I've nannied for awhile, people will mistake me for the mother no matter what. I will correct them and we move on with life. Plus, half of his clothes say something about Mom, Dad, Grandma, Uncle etc.... this really limits his wardrobe. It was just really strange she would get upset about the onsie...I really put no thought into it. I feel like I'm going to have to walk on eggshells now. |
Anonymous
| Watch out! |
Anonymous
| That is super strange. I would be looking for another position if I were you. |
Anonymous
| My charges don't wear those clothes, look nothing like me, but people still assume I am their mother. I tell my MB and we just laugh about it. She doesn't care what people think. If you are out and about with a young child, it's safe to say that is what most people will think. Your MB seems to have some insecurities that she needs to get over. Sadly, she will probably always resent you. I would be looking for another position as well. |
Anonymous
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Eh, I don't think id be ready to quit yet. Sometimes I think nannies don't realize how hard it is for the parents (especially since your charge sounds quite young). When I was a nanny, I'd usually be one to say "watch out" with these stories. Later, when I became a mom and hired a nanny, I felt the emotions that I once chastised other MBs for having.
Just saying if overall you're happy with the rest of the package, I'd just drop this. If it happens again then maybe brush up your resume. For now, just take it as something a mom who is likely a little sad and jealous of you getting to spend so much time with the baby, let her emotions get to her, and said something stupid |
Anonymous
| Is she a first time mom? I know it is super weird that she said that to you, but I think she's probably just being oversensitive and feels guilty for going back to work so soon. Plus, her hormones are probably still all crazy too! I would advise you to wait a little while longer before deciding to quit though. But it is a little worrisome that she works from home as you will be spending way more time with her than the average parent that works outside of the home. |
Anonymous
| 21:32, there is a huge difference between experiencing those emotions (totally normal) and being suspicious and demanding towards an employee because of your emotions (red flag). It is a problem not because MB "shouldn't" feel that way, but because she obviously has no perspective on what is or is not a reasonable accomodation towards her feelings. There is a disconnect between MB's reality ("Nanny chose that shirt because she is intentionally masquerading as my child's mother!") and actual reality ("It makes me sad to think of others assuming Nanny is Larlo's mom, but that is not nanny's intention nor is it her problem"). |
Anonymous
| Keep your eyes open but I wouldn't walk based solely on that. My MB had some pretty odd requests in our first few weeks together but then it stopped and everything has been completely harmonious since. I think she was just adjusting to being a ftm with a new nanny - maybe your MB will mellow out, too. |
Anonymous
| ETA: I've worked for them for almost three years now |
Anonymous
Why was a three year old wearing a onesie? Something doesn't add up here... |
Anonymous
The ETA wasn't OP. It was the nanny with the ftm MB with the weird requests those first few weeks. |
Anonymous
Yes this. I don't think she should quit. But nanny should a. prepare herself for an eventual heart to heart with mom or b. be prepared to be fired suddenly for a minor or made up offense because MB is having trouble managing her emotions. |
Anonymous
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I agree...For her to even make an issue over something as little as this is a huge red flag that you will have issues with her down the road.
It is your call OP, but if I were in your shoes, I would be searching for a new job ASAP. She has jealousy issues. Big Time. |
Anonymous
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MB here. She sounds like a classic neurotic, insecure FTM (not to mention first time employer of a nanny).
Maybe she'll calm down in time or maybe this is just the sign of equally nuts stuff to come. Don't take it personally - I'm sure she'd be this nutty with anyone, but do keep in mind that you may decide this isn't a situation you want to stay in. |
Anonymous
| She is a butter. Find another position and run as fast as you can. Anyone this possessive and jealous will only get worse. |