My first nanny job and I have an issue with something
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Anonymous
| Hi OP. I think you should look for another position. You want one where you make more of the decisions about when MB should be involved and when you should be working. I think this is unreasonable on your part, but it's your right to desire this sort of arrangement. Did you discuss this with your MB before taking the job? If not, you can either give her two weeks notice that you'll be looking for another position. Or, you can have a discussion with her about what your demands are. Just be prepared to be asked to move on. I had a nanny who couldn't understand my work schedule. I'm a contractor and have very odd hours. I hired someone to work 8am until 8pm, just so I have all of the time I need in the event I have to work 60 hours. The nanny was paid time and a half and everything was set up legally. Well, the nanny decided that when I was home she should be able to leave. She also did know that I have an accident with nerve damage and so my schedule was further modified. Well, I just let her go. She was so presumptuous and demanding and didn't know what she was talking about. Also, it wasn't my job to tell her all of my business. She was extremely upset when I told her to move on. I explained to her I wasn't hiring a drill sargeant and that is what she wanted to be. She had every right to want to be that sort of person. Guess what, I have rights to not be okay with that. I hired someone else who just does her job and it's been great. Thank goodness!!! |
Anonymous
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You need to do the job you were hired to do without all the judgment and criticism. If you don't want this job, that's fine. But she is not asking any more of you than what she hired you to do.
It would be completely inappropriate for you to involve yourself in her personal life (contacting the other parent), and it is reflective of you being brand new to the profession that you are speaking this way of the job you accepted - within a month of starting. Parents will do all kinds of things you'll disagree with if you remain in the nanny business. But you accepted the job and you need to do it or move on. |
Anonymous
| OP, I agree with others that the mom is not in the wrong, but I would feel the same as you. I'd rather be docked pay and leave an hour earlier than stay when the parents are home as well. I do it very unusual that she asks you to put the kids to bed when she is home. I have never had a parent do that except for a sick one who stayed home for a couple days. |
Anonymous
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Do not take the advice to insert yourself into MB's divorce or take on the role of counselor. She will not thank you for it - nor should she.
You are wrong in this case, OP. If MB hired you for 7am-7pm knowing that she would sometimes be home early and would be able to use that time to have a glass of wine and decompress that is her prerogative. It is neither neglectful nor lazy of her. You're going to find a lot of things like this if you continue to work as a nanny, and the sooner you learn not just to keep your mouth shut but to stop passing mental judgments, the more you will enjoy your work. |
Anonymous
I agree with others that the mom isn't technically doing anything wrong, but man your attitude sucks. |
Anonymous
| I also just considered that MB might not be comfortable docking your pay because so many nannies, myself included, require guaranteed hours. She may be assuming, OP, that she's going to need to pay you for all 60 hours every week anyway so she might as well take advantage of being home while you're there to handle the kids. |
Anonymous
Good point. |
Anonymous
| You can judge her all you like OP, I would and certainly judge my MB all the time for some dumb or lazy stuff she does. Just learn to keep a smile on your face and your mouth shut, so long as she is doing right by you. She hired you for 7-7, you're working from 7-7, and getting paid from 7-7. I see no problem here. |
Anonymous
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Like I said in my initial post, I was under to impression that she wouldn't be home until 6:30. Which again is fine. She hired me to take care of her kids while she's not home.
But when she comes home two hours early and I have to stay and put th kids to bed, I don't think that's right. The kids are bathed and in their pajamas every night by 630. She doesn't do anything business or divorce related when she gets home. Even if she did, that's fine. I don't feel like I have to discipline her kids while she's home. Not only is this an issue, the kids behavior is out of control. |
Anonymous
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My problem is that she doesn't want to be home with the kids and doesn't want to deal with them. The older one begged her not to go out last night but she still went out. She has a BF that lives there so they want their alone time. As much as she,doesn't want to be home with the kids, is as much I would like to go home myself.
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Anonymous
| Is she depressed? |
Anonymous
| Does not at all seem depressed. Im not trying to sound like a b*tch, but everyone I've talked to agrees with me. If she leaves work early and goes out and does whatever, I don't care. But the minute she comes home, I should be able to leave. I just don't get it. |
Anonymous
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We get it, OP. You want to go home. You are still wrong though.
It's probably a good idea for you to find another position. Also, if you are going to be so judgmental, maybe nannying isn't for you. |
Anonymous
When I first started to nanny, this bothered the hell out of my as well. I always figured parents would want to be with their children-alone or as a family-as much as possible, especially the parents who see their children for 1 or 2 hours a day during the week. Unfortunately, this just isn't the case. I've found the prevailing attitude to be pretty much what has been asserted here, they pay you for your time so you should be grateful and just be there regardless of the circumstances. While it would be nice of her to just let you leave and put her own children to bed some nights (while docking your pay of course) that probably will never happen. You either have to suck it up, and get used to this rather shitty aspect of nannying, or find a reason to amend your schedule (e.g. you are starting a class and need change your hours). Good luck! |
Anonymous
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OP, she hired you to work until 7. She is paying you for that time.
This is your job. It is none of your business why she needs coverage for that time, it is inappropriate for you to judge her this way. Clearly this is the wrong job for you. In all likelihood nannying probably isn't your natural profession. |