How do you deal with a husband whose getting tired of nanny's time off?

[Anonymous]

OP you need a new nanny. Ignore crazy nanny who thinks no offense, lack of performance or even criminal activity ever warrants letting any nanny go. Since you are starting the process again, you'll be better at screening and interviewing this time around.

The best advice someone gave me is to realize that many mom's giving references are very passive or even avoid telling you the real truth about a candidate. They either like the person and just want her to find a job (even though she may have issues) or just want to get rid of her. You need to ask for specific questions including asking about the compensation package, how punctual/reliable she was and whether that was a job requirement. A reference from a WAHM might not even notice or care if the nanny was 15 minutes late everyday but this could be a huge issue to a commuting parent.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny who is appalled at the caliber of people, parents are entrusting their children with. It's horrifying.

[Anonymous]

That's good for some boss,because I do my best on my job,never coming late,or missing day,never got sick,but people still like this stupid nanny,that's very good!!!!

[Anonymous]

OP, I think we all agree that the nanny is taking too much time off, so we basically think your husband is right. Once you get past the nightmare of having to restart a search, and you have someone more reliable, you'll probably agree. It's incredibly stressful to always be worrying about back-up care. Obviously the nanny is entitled to her appropriate time off but you have given (if I'm reading correctly) and additional 7 days of unpaid leave for personal travel or family needs. That is very generous of you, and the kind of thing that shows great consideration. It's also (IMO) a privilege to be earned and her tenure with you has been short. She's been employed for 5 months and been on some sort of paid or unpaid leave for 1 month of that?

You don't owe her anything. You do owe yourself (and your marriage) more reliable, less stressful, childcare.

I know starting over is a hassle but nannies can be tremendously reliable and conscientious - it doesn't have to be like this.

I think the rude assumptions about you underpaying are unfair. You certainly have been more than generous on the leave front so my assumption is that you actually are a perfectly reasonable, thoughtful, generous employer. If anything you are bending over backwards too far and not being met with equal consideration.

And by the way - giving you "attitude" for being asked to not take a full day off for a doctor's appt is a huge red flag (assuming it's a normal dr's appt and not lots of tests, or some emergency or something).

There are other nannies your LO will love - I promise.

Good luck!

FYI, there are also services that can help w/ short-term back-up or interim care. I have just lined up one of these for our family and the stress it has eliminated is worth every penny of the cost. If you're in the DC area check out MetroParentRelief.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny who is appalled at the caliber of people, parents are entrusting their children with. It's horrifying.

Why?

[Anonymous]

You definitely need a new and reliable nanny, OP. Your husband is right, that is way to much time off.

You have six more weeks until her first six months is up, so by then, she might be well over the 4 weeks you detail above.

Good luck. There are many wonderful nannies out there and your DC will love the next one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You definitely need a new and reliable nanny, OP. Your husband is right, that is way to much time off.

You have six more weeks until her first six months is up, so by then, she might be well over the 4 weeks you detail above.

Good luck. There are many wonderful nannies out there and your DC will love the next one.

Some parents do love the revolving nanny door. But those who are concerned about their children's healthy development and wellbeing, prefer to avoid it as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

I think some of this is on OP for allowing so many unpaid days off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
People who are well-compensated for their work usually perform well on the job and are typically stable.

People who are paid poorly are notoriously
"HIGH TURNOVER".

What do you expect?

(Hint: You get what you pay for.)

No.. There are lazy, entitled, unprofessional childcare providers who expect a high rate because they think they're such an asset and MB/DB should be thrilled with her just being their nanny. I've seen plenty of useless, overpaid nannies who suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of this is on OP for allowing so many unpaid days off.

+1

OP, you're letting her so you can't really complain. If you keep her on then you deserve it. GET RID OF HER!

[Anonymous]

She has taken way too much time off thus far. I know your child loves her, but she is showing a blatant disregard for her job. She obviously does not value her work and her work ethic just plain sucks.

I would let her go and hire someone new.

Trust me.
There are quite a few good nannies out there who would contribute a better work ethic than this shoddy one.

[Anonymous]

You definitely need a new and reliable nanny, OP. Your husband is right, that is way to much time off.

You have six more weeks until her first six months is up, so by then, she might be well over the 4 weeks you detail above.

Good luck. There are many wonderful nannies out there and your DC will love the next one.

Some parents do love the revolving nanny door. But those who are concerned about their children's healthy development and wellbeing, prefer to avoid it as much as possible.

No, parents don't love revolving doors. Sadly, they have to change nannies when the nanny turns out to be a problem, as OP's nanny clearly is. The willingness to change nannies is BECAUSE they are concerned about their children's healthy development.

You really need to stop posting about your imaginary revolving door, PP, to encourage parents to keep problem nannies. It's dumb, and you are really getting boring posting this on every.single.thread.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and would never ask for that much time off. In my opinion you should not call in or ask for time off (unless something serious comes up) for 3 months. I make all appointments on my own time and would never inconvenience a family, aren't nannies here to make your life easier? I do understand her being from South America and needing to go back...I guess when hiring an Ap or someone from another country you should expect them to take more time off! Good luck on your search!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You definitely need a new and reliable nanny, OP. Your husband is right, that is way to much time off.

You have six more weeks until her first six months is up, so by then, she might be well over the 4 weeks you detail above.

Good luck. There are many wonderful nannies out there and your DC will love the next one.

Some parents do love the revolving nanny door. But those who are concerned about their children's healthy development and wellbeing, prefer to avoid it as much as possible.

No, parents don't love revolving doors. Sadly, they have to change nannies when the nanny turns out to be a problem, as OP's nanny clearly is. The willingness to change nannies is BECAUSE they are concerned about their children's healthy development.

You really need to stop posting about your imaginary revolving door, PP, to encourage parents to keep problem nannies. It's dumb, and you are really getting boring posting this on every.single.thread.

If you keep failing to hire decent help to raise your child, at some point you need to give it up, and do it yourself, no? Stable care is essential, not optional. At some point, enough is enough.

It's your child here, remember?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here's the breakdown of here time off

Just to be clear, she started on Nov 26 and by the time May 26 rolls around this year, she will have been off 4 weeks

3 days unpaid (she had to get her passport etc)
5 days accrued in May from Nov for Paid vacation + 5 days unpaid since she's going to Central america for 2 weeks
3 days sick (tomorrow is her 3rd)
2 days unpaid for helping her mom
PLUS all the holidays that have transpired since late nov


Gosh i hate to start the process already.

I don't think it is fair to count holidays that have transpired since most nannies (and parents) have had that time off as well. Did she not take any vacation at Christmas? You didn't include anything other than what I would guess as Christmas and NY, so her taking a vacation in May seems fine. Many parents have their nannies take time off during the Christmas-NY week, and so if you had her do the same, THEN you could count extra vacation time from that too which would be a much different story.

It does seem weird that she is taking 2 weeks off when you are not using your "week" of vacation as well, but it is understandable in the way that she is going out of country and I would plan a 2 week vacation for that as well. Was this vacation brought up when you were going through the interview process? I think that if she knew she was going to do this, it should have been discussed in advance. If she didn't know and it "happened" later on, that is really something that should have been talked about with the timing of it (I would have waited to do a trip like this until at least 9 months had passed of working for someone, not 5).

I don't see how it takes 3 days of unpaid time off to get a passport, or anything else. It should have been done on her own time, not taking time off work.

2 days for helping her mom? With what? Unless her mom had an emergency, surgery or whatnot, she should have been available to you.

3 days sick? This can be quite a bit for the first few months of work, but sometimes it can't be helped. It depends on how sick she was, with what. If it was obviously something that she shouldn't come in to work for, then fine, but if ALL were for something like that, then maybe she is getting really sick too often. The last time I had taken a sick day WAS last summer, until this week. I got a horrible throat infection that came on like the flu or severe cold last weekend. Took one day off and went back to work. Then started to get new symptoms, realized I needed to go to the doctor and found out what it was. I was told to not be around anyone until I had been on antibiotics for 24 hours, which meant I lost 2 more days of work. So 3 days in one week. I felt horrible about doing it, but it had to be done and this has been the only time I have been sick with anything more than a minor cold all winter long. If I had been sick other times too and missed work, I would definitely be concerned about my jobs. I had actually tried to get seen on the first day I took off, but they had no spots even for emergency appointments, and I had seemed to be getting better with what seemed like something normal. I things had been different, I would have only had to miss 2 days but that still would have been 2 days more than I would have liked.