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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think we all agree that the nanny is taking too much time off, so we basically think your husband is right.  Once you get past the nightmare of having to restart a search, and you have someone more reliable, you'll probably agree.  It's incredibly stressful to always be worrying about back-up care.  Obviously the nanny is entitled to her appropriate time off but you have given (if I'm reading correctly) and additional 7 days of unpaid leave for personal travel or family needs.  That is very generous of you, and the kind of thing that shows great consideration.  It's also (IMO) a privilege to be earned and her tenure with you has been short.  She's been employed for 5 months and been on some sort of paid or unpaid leave for 1 month of that?

You don't owe her anything.  You do owe yourself (and your marriage) more reliable, less stressful, childcare.

I know starting over is a hassle but nannies can be tremendously reliable and conscientious - it doesn't have to be like this.

I think the rude assumptions about you underpaying are unfair.  You certainly have been more than generous on the leave front so my assumption is that you actually are a perfectly reasonable, thoughtful, generous employer.  If anything you are bending over backwards too far and not being met with equal consideration.

And by the way - giving you "attitude" for being asked to not take a full day off for a doctor's appt is a huge red flag  (assuming it's a normal dr's appt and not lots of tests, or some emergency or something).

There are other nannies your LO will love - I promise.

Good luck!

FYI, there are also services that can help w/ short-term back-up or interim care.  I have just lined up one of these for our family and the stress it has eliminated is worth every penny of the cost.  If you're in the DC area check out MetroParentRelief.com[/quote]

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