So sorry for your loss op.

Does it really matter? I'm a single parent because I have my kid 24/7. I get CS only because my ex doesn't want to end up in prison. If it was left up to him, he wouldn't send a dime. My neighbor is also a single parent. She is divorced and has her kids half of the time and gets some CS. My mom was a single parent when my dad died. He left her life insurance money. We are all on our own in varying degrees which is where the "single" comes in. I have it harder than others because I never get a break nor can I afford babysitters but I'm in the same boat as my neighbor and my mom.

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was single as in unmarried, not single as in "only parent"

By that definition, I'm a single parent as is my BF. We've been together almost 30 years and have 4 kids. We just never legally wed.

I thought it was single as in unmarried, not single as in "only parent"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the life of me I do not understand why people find this hard to define. If you are single and parenting -- no matter how you got that way be it divorce, never married, widowed -- you are a single parent. This is not rocket science. The answer is in the question and in the term.

This is usually the differentiator. In a divorce, presumably, there is a father. The father shares the the financial responsibility of the child. The father may also spend time with the child giving the mother some alone time. In a windowed or single mom by choice situation, this isn't the case. If they want adult time, they have to hire a sitter. All of the financial responsibilities fall to them as do all of the decisions that are made in raising the child.

That's not to say that just because someone fathered a child, he is involved, financially or otherwise. But the obligation does exist. Whether he fulfills it or not, is a different story.

But if I'm unmarried, therefore single, and a parent, I'm a single parent. That's what the words mean. You can feel however you like about them, but it doesn't change the definition of single or parent.

Why do we need to label everyone anyway? This is such a silly argument to have.

The above argument bothers me. We all know of divorced parents who check out. You could just as easily say that the deceased parent was obligated to have enough life insurance to provide for the child in case he or she died, so the living parent shouldn't be left with an undue financial burden. Even if they do, it doesn't mean single parenting isn't hard. Just like if a divorced parent pays child support, it's helpful but it's still hard to be a single parent.

Anonymous wrote:For the life of me I do not understand why people find this hard to define. If you are single and parenting -- no matter how you got that way be it divorce, never married, widowed -- you are a single parent. This is not rocket science. The answer is in the question and in the term.

This is usually the differentiator. In a divorce, presumably, there is a father. The father shares the the financial responsibility of the child. The father may also spend time with the child giving the mother some alone time. In a windowed or single mom by choice situation, this isn't the case. If they want adult time, they have to hire a sitter. All of the financial responsibilities fall to them as do all of the decisions that are made in raising the child.

That's not to say that just because someone fathered a child, he is involved, financially or otherwise. But the obligation does exist. Whether he fulfills it or not, is a different story.

Anonymous wrote:For the life of me I do not understand why people find this hard to define. If you are single and parenting -- no matter how you got that way be it divorce, never married, widowed -- you are a single parent. This is not rocket science. The answer is in the question and in the term.

If you're divorced and your ex pays hefty alimony and has the kids sometimes - you're not not a single parent. Also not a single parent if you're married but your spouse travels a lot for work. Sorry, doesn't count. You're a single parent if the buck stops with you and you are 100% responsible for the kids.

For the life of me I do not understand why people find this hard to define. If you are single and parenting -- no matter how you got that way be it divorce, never married, widowed -- you are a single parent. This is not rocket science. The answer is in the question and in the term.

We have done this before:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/329563.page
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/351273.page
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/595694.page
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/76173.page

Anonymous wrote:Single parents are 100% on their own. Divorced couples with custody agreements and child support are not. They are divorced parents.

I agree with this -- I don't consider my divorced friends whose ex-husbands contribute significantly to raising their children single parents. My friend who had a sperm donor and really is doing it on her own? She's a single parent. So are you, OP. And kudos to you for being able to do it all on your own (and so sorry for your loss).

NP here. ^^^ I'd call them "co-parenting."

OP, I'm sorry you have to go through this!

Single parents are 100% on their own. Divorced couples with custody agreements and child support are not. They are divorced parents.

You are a single parent, OP. The divorced mother/fathers with exhusbands and exwives who contribute financially and with time to their children are not single parents.

I think parents that do the majority of the parenting and have the children with them the majority of the time are single parents. You definitely are a single parent, OP. I have two kids under five and my XH lives overseas - I consider myself a single parent, too.

I am a widow and raising a child on my own. To me that is a single parent. However, divorced women whose ex-husbands are very much alive and involved in parenting also call themselves single parents.

So does single parent mean just one parent in the house at a time?