where do you think you'll retire?

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[Post New]02/22/2010 17:40
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"I also really want my kids to go away to college and to live somewhere other than where they grew up for a few years. I think that's important. But I'd like to be close enough to drive to my grandkids (rather than fly)."

SO IMPORTANT that they live somewhere other than where they grew up for at least a few years (NO, college does NOT count).

I hope I am smart enough to remember this. I hope my kids are smart enough to DO this. What a waste, otherwise, truly.


if you lived on a farm in the middle of the country maybe....but why is going away to college and returning to an urban/diverse area a waste? what if a great job opportunity presented itself and it happened to be in DC---would that be a waste of your child's life?

I see this badge of honor banded about on this board about 'living away from the 'rents'...knocking those native Washingtonians (who prob. traveled extensively, went away to school, etc) and returned. Who cares?

If you grew up in some really depressing town I understand the 'get out' mentality...but native Parisiens and Manatthatanites...some have never lived anywhere else. I don't find that a waste.


I do. I think it really limits your worldview to have only lived in one place.

My DH has never lived more than ten miles from where he grew up. Sometimes it shows in his (parochial) outlook and comments.


I tend to agree. I think it's good to get away - it does foster independence - even if you end up moving back.

What is that expression - "roots and wings." It is something to consider, not enforce...I don't think it means you should put limitations on your kids, but I will encourage my children to go elsewhere for college and broaden their horizons, even though I obviously will never want to be apart from them.

If they decide not to follow my encouragement, fine, but I will encourage it.


I'm all about in-state tuition---UVA, William&MAry, etc.. There are kids from all over the country there...they can move away afterwards.
[Post New]02/22/2010 17:47
Anonymous
On the coast, probably near Charleston or maybe Savannah. DH wants to keep our current second home in the mountains for awhile, too, but I have my doubts on dealing with something that remote and hard to keep up when I'm in my 60s - it's tough enough now. Maybe I can convince him to get something in a mountain community in NC where you can call the nice people from maintenance up when you have a problem.
[Post New]02/22/2010 17:49
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"I also really want my kids to go away to college and to live somewhere other than where they grew up for a few years. I think that's important. But I'd like to be close enough to drive to my grandkids (rather than fly)."

SO IMPORTANT that they live somewhere other than where they grew up for at least a few years (NO, college does NOT count).

I hope I am smart enough to remember this. I hope my kids are smart enough to DO this. What a waste, otherwise, truly.


if you lived on a farm in the middle of the country maybe....but why is going away to college and returning to an urban/diverse area a waste? what if a great job opportunity presented itself and it happened to be in DC---would that be a waste of your child's life?

I see this badge of honor banded about on this board about 'living away from the 'rents'...knocking those native Washingtonians (who prob. traveled extensively, went away to school, etc) and returned. Who cares?

If you grew up in some really depressing town I understand the 'get out' mentality...but native Parisiens and Manatthatanites...some have never lived anywhere else. I don't find that a waste.


I do. I think it really limits your worldview to have only lived in one place.

My DH has never lived more than ten miles from where he grew up. Sometimes it shows in his (parochial) outlook and comments.


I tend to agree. I think it's good to get away - it does foster independence - even if you end up moving back.

What is that expression - "roots and wings." It is something to consider, not enforce...I don't think it means you should put limitations on your kids, but I will encourage my children to go elsewhere for college and broaden their horizons, even though I obviously will never want to be apart from them.

If they decide not to follow my encouragement, fine, but I will encourage it.


That's fine. I grew up, went to collge 5 hours away, came back (my own apartment job); sabbatical for 6 months abroad; and I don't feel like I missed out on independence and spreading of wings. In fact--the one sibling in my family that 'flew the coop' so to speak is the only one that has been continually dependent on my parents financially. Kind of ironic, ha? I don't see location as the primarly way to foster independence. That one sibling still relies on my parent's opinions for everything. I also have several friends that live cross-country from their parents---but even as adults the parents still have heavy control over them......like the kids whose parents call and email daily while in college.

For me TRAVEL is the most important thing. International/world travel and my short 6months living abroad did more than anything for a change in perspective.

I don't know of the one PP's upbringing--but it is possible that close-minded 'parochial view' was fostered at home. There are ppl that have never physically left their country/city but have a more 'worldly' outlook then those that jump around....literature, imagination, arts, etc.
[Post New]02/22/2010 18:15
Anonymous
Definitely not florida---where old ppl go to die.
[Post New]02/22/2010 18:19
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"I also really want my kids to go away to college and to live somewhere other than where they grew up for a few years. I think that's important. But I'd like to be close enough to drive to my grandkids (rather than fly)."

SO IMPORTANT that they live somewhere other than where they grew up for at least a few years (NO, college does NOT count).

I hope I am smart enough to remember this. I hope my kids are smart enough to DO this. What a waste, otherwise, truly.


if you lived on a farm in the middle of the country maybe....but why is going away to college and returning to an urban/diverse area a waste? what if a great job opportunity presented itself and it happened to be in DC---would that be a waste of your child's life?

I see this badge of honor banded about on this board about 'living away from the 'rents'...knocking those native Washingtonians (who prob. traveled extensively, went away to school, etc) and returned. Who cares?

If you grew up in some really depressing town I understand the 'get out' mentality...but native Parisiens and Manatthatanites...some have never lived anywhere else. I don't find that a waste.


I do. I think it really limits your worldview to have only lived in one place.

My DH has never lived more than ten miles from where he grew up. Sometimes it shows in his (parochial) outlook and comments.


I tend to agree. I think it's good to get away - it does foster independence - even if you end up moving back.

What is that expression - "roots and wings." It is something to consider, not enforce...I don't think it means you should put limitations on your kids, but I will encourage my children to go elsewhere for college and broaden their horizons, even though I obviously will never want to be apart from them.

If they decide not to follow my encouragement, fine, but I will encourage it.


There is this lovely little thing called travel. To places called "foreign countries." These things tend to broaden your world view, regardless of where you live.
I say this as someone who moved FAR from her family and was "independent." However, I gained as much if not more of a "broadened view" of the world from my travels then from where I have lived (in a couple different placed throughout the US).
[Post New]02/22/2010 18:24
Anonymous
Amelia Island, FL
[Post New]02/22/2010 18:25
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:monterey or carmel, ca


Me too-- and sooner rather than later!
[Post New]02/22/2010 18:33
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Definitely not florida---where old ppl go to die.


Add Arizona to that list.
[Post New]02/22/2010 20:27
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"I also really want my kids to go away to college and to live somewhere other than where they grew up for a few years. I think that's important. But I'd like to be close enough to drive to my grandkids (rather than fly)."

SO IMPORTANT that they live somewhere other than where they grew up for at least a few years (NO, college does NOT count).

I hope I am smart enough to remember this. I hope my kids are smart enough to DO this. What a waste, otherwise, truly.


if you lived on a farm in the middle of the country maybe....but why is going away to college and returning to an urban/diverse area a waste? what if a great job opportunity presented itself and it happened to be in DC---would that be a waste of your child's life?

I see this badge of honor banded about on this board about 'living away from the 'rents'...knocking those native Washingtonians (who prob. traveled extensively, went away to school, etc) and returned. Who cares?

If you grew up in some really depressing town I understand the 'get out' mentality...but native Parisiens and Manatthatanites...some have never lived anywhere else. I don't find that a waste.


I do. I think it really limits your worldview to have only lived in one place.

My DH has never lived more than ten miles from where he grew up. Sometimes it shows in his (parochial) outlook and comments.


I tend to agree. I think it's good to get away - it does foster independence - even if you end up moving back.

What is that expression - "roots and wings." It is something to consider, not enforce...I don't think it means you should put limitations on your kids, but I will encourage my children to go elsewhere for college and broaden their horizons, even though I obviously will never want to be apart from them.

If they decide not to follow my encouragement, fine, but I will encourage it.


There is this lovely little thing called travel. To places called "foreign countries." These things tend to broaden your world view, regardless of where you live.
I say this as someone who moved FAR from her family and was "independent." However, I gained as much if not more of a "broadened view" of the world from my travels then from where I have lived (in a couple different placed throughout the US).


Yeah, travel is fine. I still think living away is important. My parents never expressed it but that is how I was raised. My brother and I both went away to college, and studied abroad for one year. We moved away from our hometown (smaller than hear but still a pretty good sized city) and now, years later, my parents retired about 90 minutes away in rural VA, and my brother, after living in Asia and London, and then NYC, just got a job with the govt and will likely be transferred to DC in a year.

So we all ended back together for the most part! But nice to get away.

I feel like people are getting defensive about this. It is just something I personally am proud of, and value, but it doesn't mean everyone has to do it!
[Post New]02/22/2010 20:29
Anonymous
All over in an RV until we find the perfect spot to retire.
[Post New]02/22/2010 21:30
zumbamama
Site Admin Offline
Anonymous wrote:All over in an RV until we find the perfect spot to retire.


OP here. This is DH's dream. Or mountain home. Sigh. Are there any towns like Asheville (which I have yet to visit), that are have natural beauty, charm and culture, and hopefully some kind of art scene? With a lake or river? That is hopefully somewhat diverse?

Although I do have 30 years to convince him to stay here.
[Post New]02/22/2010 21:31
zumbamama
Site Admin Offline
sorry I didn't edit so well. i'm tired.
[Post New]02/22/2010 21:38
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Houseboat in Europe


? Fjord in Norway or Island in Greece? Both in Europe, slightly different.
[Post New]02/22/2010 22:06
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"I also really want my kids to go away to college and to live somewhere other than where they grew up for a few years. I think that's important. But I'd like to be close enough to drive to my grandkids (rather than fly)."

SO IMPORTANT that they live somewhere other than where they grew up for at least a few years (NO, college does NOT count).

I hope I am smart enough to remember this. I hope my kids are smart enough to DO this. What a waste, otherwise, truly.


if you lived on a farm in the middle of the country maybe....but why is going away to college and returning to an urban/diverse area a waste? what if a great job opportunity presented itself and it happened to be in DC---would that be a waste of your child's life?

I see this badge of honor banded about on this board about 'living away from the 'rents'...knocking those native Washingtonians (who prob. traveled extensively, went away to school, etc) and returned. Who cares?

If you grew up in some really depressing town I understand the 'get out' mentality...but native Parisiens and Manatthatanites...some have never lived anywhere else. I don't find that a waste.


I do. I think it really limits your worldview to have only lived in one place.

My DH has never lived more than ten miles from where he grew up. Sometimes it shows in his (parochial) outlook and comments.


I tend to agree. I think it's good to get away - it does foster independence - even if you end up moving back.

What is that expression - "roots and wings." It is something to consider, not enforce...I don't think it means you should put limitations on your kids, but I will encourage my children to go elsewhere for college and broaden their horizons, even though I obviously will never want to be apart from them.

If they decide not to follow my encouragement, fine, but I will encourage it.


I'm all about in-state tuition---UVA, William&MAry, etc.. There are kids from all over the country there...they can move away afterwards.


Yep - I'm the poster you quoted and VA does have some great schools. Forgot about William and Mary.
[Post New]02/22/2010 22:18
Anonymous
zumbamama wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All over in an RV until we find the perfect spot to retire.


OP here. This is DH's dream. Or mountain home. Sigh. Are there any towns like Asheville (which I have yet to visit), that are have natural beauty, charm and culture, and hopefully some kind of art scene? With a lake or river? That is hopefully somewhat diverse?

Although I do have 30 years to convince him to stay here.


We just moved to the Connecticut shore. We're right on the water and it's gorgeous but our town also has a lot to do, we're right near Yale, and an hour train into NYC. It's pretty awesome thus far.
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