Anonymous wrote:Curious why a lot of folks here imply that an affair makes a difference in the divorce.
In my friends' experiences (not mine though) it made completely no difference and technically the cheated stay-at-home wife could ask alimony (though she didn't).

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Anonymous wrote:Curious why a lot of folks here imply that an affair makes a difference in the divorce.
In my friends' experiences (not mine though) it made completely no difference and technically the cheated stay-at-home wife could ask alimony (though she didn't).

It makes a difference because of whether DH is doing something reasonable given the circumstances right now. No-fault divorce may be a thing for division of assets, property settlement etc. but that is not the current issue.

But if my SO harmed me in such a way as an affair, I certainly wouldn't want that person, and any people that person knows, having unfettered access to the place I live and sleep.

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Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

Agreed. I was mainly calling him an ass because he sent his children packing with her. Only an ass would see it fit to have his children living out of someone's basement during a pandemic. Even if she cheated, why make the kids suffer?

DP. First, we don’t know the kids are also his.

Second, if they are, we don’t know that they aren’t splitting their time between mom and dad.

DP. Why would they be doing dropoffs if they weren’t his kids?

The mature thing to do would be for the kids to stay in the house and for the parents to switch off.

I wouldn’t want a vindictive ex like OP having access to my personal belongings on her days in the house. For all we know, she might destroy all of his stuff.

There’s no indication that she’s vindictive. You’re reading a lot into this.

She wants him punished legally for changing the locks even though she admits it has no practical effect on her. That's vindictive.

It’s still her house. She’s on the deed. She’s entitled to access. This affects her.

Anonymous wrote:We all know you were looking at the ring camera to see if your ex had a girlfriend, op. Admit that.

I’d also bet that you weren’t “grabbing what you needed” not when you can buy what you need and eliminate the drama.
You probably “grabbed” something meaningful to him, or you “grabbed” your kid’s chromebook and then “forgot” to tell him so he was scrambling trying to figure out what to do.

Changing the locks is expensive and requires calling a locksmith, meaning you don’t just do it on a whim.

You know exactly why the locks got changed.