Changing locks after separating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

Agreed. I was mainly calling him an ass because he sent his children packing with her. Only an ass would see it fit to have his children living out of someone's basement during a pandemic. Even if she cheated, why make the kids suffer?

DP. First, we don’t know the kids are also his.

Second, if they are, we don’t know that they aren’t splitting their time between mom and dad.

DP. Why would they be doing dropoffs if they weren’t his kids?

The mature thing to do would be for the kids to stay in the house and for the parents to switch off.

I wouldn’t want a vindictive ex like OP having access to my personal belongings on her days in the house. For all we know, she might destroy all of his stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

Agreed. I was mainly calling him an ass because he sent his children packing with her. Only an ass would see it fit to have his children living out of someone's basement during a pandemic. Even if she cheated, why make the kids suffer?

DP. First, we don’t know the kids are also his.

Second, if they are, we don’t know that they aren’t splitting their time between mom and dad.

DP. Why would they be doing dropoffs if they weren’t his kids?

The mature thing to do would be for the kids to stay in the house and for the parents to switch off.

I wouldn’t want a vindictive ex like OP having access to my personal belongings on her days in the house. For all we know, she might destroy all of his stuff.

Not to mention that if OP has to stay in a friend’s basement instead of getting her own apartment, they probably can’t afford a separate place for him to live when he’s not with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

How do you know? Maybe she had affair and got caught....her leaving the home is sign number one.

Yeah, I’m getting vibes that OP did something to trigger the divorce and now keeps running roughshod over his boundaries, so he changed the locks to get some peace when he’s at home. OP’s lawyer doesn’t want to fight the lock changing because he knows she’ll look bad when all of those facts come out.

Especially if she was brining guys into the house to bang. I'd change the locks too.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have a job? It doesn't sound like you are even paying for the mortgage, correct?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Do they have keys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

Agreed. I was mainly calling him an ass because he sent his children packing with her. Only an ass would see it fit to have his children living out of someone's basement during a pandemic. Even if she cheated, why make the kids suffer?

DP. First, we don’t know the kids are also his.

Second, if they are, we don’t know that they aren’t splitting their time between mom and dad.

DP. Why would they be doing dropoffs if they weren’t his kids?

The mature thing to do would be for the kids to stay in the house and for the parents to switch off.

I wouldn’t want a vindictive ex like OP having access to my personal belongings on her days in the house. For all we know, she might destroy all of his stuff.

There’s no indication that she’s vindictive. You’re reading a lot into this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

How do you know? Maybe she had affair and got caught....her leaving the home is sign number one.

Yeah, I’m getting vibes that OP did something to trigger the divorce and now keeps running roughshod over his boundaries, so he changed the locks to get some peace when he’s at home. OP’s lawyer doesn’t want to fight the lock changing because he knows she’ll look bad when all of those facts come out.

Especially if she was brining guys into the house to bang. I'd change the locks too.

Wow, this thread has really brought out the crazy MRAs. We got from "my ex changed the locks on the house I still half own" to "OP is a cheater who is banging randos in the marital home".

People project a stunning amount.

[Anonymous]

^ no idea what is going on.

But: get the f@ck our and then changing the locks indicate something very aggregious.

And the fact the lawyer isn’t going to bat for her means there is reason he think the husband has reason to change the locks, e.g., personal safety from another dude, etc.

[Anonymous]

Passion. The most violent responses are usually due to sexual transgressions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

How do you know? Maybe she had affair and got caught....her leaving the home is sign number one.

Yeah, I’m getting vibes that OP did something to trigger the divorce and now keeps running roughshod over his boundaries, so he changed the locks to get some peace when he’s at home. OP’s lawyer doesn’t want to fight the lock changing because he knows she’ll look bad when all of those facts come out.

Especially if she was brining guys into the house to bang. I'd change the locks too.

Wow, this thread has really brought out the crazy MRAs. We got from "my ex changed the locks on the house I still half own" to "OP is a cheater who is banging randos in the marital home".

People project a stunning amount.

Sorry to laugh, as this is an unfortunate situation. But this thread is turning into a DCUM classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

How do you know? Maybe she had affair and got caught....her leaving the home is sign number one.

Yeah, I’m getting vibes that OP did something to trigger the divorce and now keeps running roughshod over his boundaries, so he changed the locks to get some peace when he’s at home. OP’s lawyer doesn’t want to fight the lock changing because he knows she’ll look bad when all of those facts come out.

Especially if she was brining guys into the house to bang. I'd change the locks too.

Wow, this thread has really brought out the crazy MRAs. We got from "my ex changed the locks on the house I still half own" to "OP is a cheater who is banging randos in the marital home".

People project a stunning amount.

You missed he said “get the f@ck out” in her opening post. He kicked her out of her own house...and then changed the locks. That’s pretty telling.

[Anonymous]

And she’s living in a friend’s basement, having visitation with the kids there. That’s a lot of turmoil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ no idea what is going on.

But: get the f@ck our and then changing the locks indicate something very aggregious.

And the fact the lawyer isn’t going to bat for her means there is reason he think the husband has reason to change the locks, e.g., personal safety from another dude, etc.

So in your opinion when a woman is beaten up by her husband she must have done something bad right?

none of us know anything about OP but a bunch of a$$holes upthread concluded that OP's misfortune was certainly due to the fact that she must be a crazy vindictive cheater and sure, anybody would have reacted like the husband.

based on my experience (not personal, but people around me) is not uncommon for women in abusive marriages to end up like OP, with husbands who keep the power and the money (have the good jobs while the wife falls behind taking care of house and kids) and when the wife finally leaves, with little money and the kids in tow, often ends up in bad situations like couch surfing with family or friends or bad, cheap rentals. they don't have the money to hire a good attorney and have the attorney work for them. because we don't know anything about OP, piling up on her with baseless assumptions is simply cruel and unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

^ true. Those are very sad situations.

However, OP does not sound scared of him- more pissed off. And she was willingly and freely going into the house after she left while he was there. Hardly the actions of a woman who was being abused/beaten by her spouse and fearful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ true. Those are very sad situations.

However, OP does not sound scared of him- more pissed off. And she was willingly and freely going into the house after she left while he was there. Hardly the actions of a woman who was being abused/beaten by her spouse and fearful.

Wow. You know nothing about abuse. Sit down.