Changing locks after separating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

How do you know? Maybe she had affair and got caught....her leaving the home is sign number one.

Yeah, I’m getting vibes that OP did something to trigger the divorce and now keeps running roughshod over his boundaries, so he changed the locks to get some peace when he’s at home. OP’s lawyer doesn’t want to fight the lock changing because he knows she’ll look bad when all of those facts come out.

That’s a pretty elaborate story you made up from zero information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

How do you know? Maybe she had affair and got caught....her leaving the home is sign number one.

Yeah, I’m getting vibes that OP did something to trigger the divorce and now keeps running roughshod over his boundaries, so he changed the locks to get some peace when he’s at home. OP’s lawyer doesn’t want to fight the lock changing because he knows she’ll look bad when all of those facts come out.

That’s a pretty elaborate story you made up from zero information.

I know that even after she moved out, she kept going back into the house without invitation to take things such that her ex had to ask that they meet outside the house to exchange things, seemingly is using the Nest doorbell to spy on him, and she wants her ex punished for changing the locks even though it has no practical effect on her. Whatever the real story, none of this reflects well on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that could be true for her leaving. OP, what was your reason to leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

Agreed. I was mainly calling him an ass because he sent his children packing with her. Only an ass would see it fit to have his children living out of someone's basement during a pandemic. Even if she cheated, why make the kids suffer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs are technically correct that he can't bar you from the house unless there is an order in place giving him sole possession of the house. Before you do anything about this, though, you need to think about how this is going to play to a court. If the issue is that you still have personal belongings at the house, such as clothing or personal papers, to which he is wholly refusing to allow you access, that's one thing. But if the issue is that you keep barging into the house unannounced during his time with the kids, the court isn't going to be too thrilled with you either. It's important to think strategically here, so how to approach it depends on why you want/need access to the house.

I haven’t gone in the house since he said we should do all drop offs outside. Before I was quickly coming in, grabbing whatever I needed and then leaving. I’m not trying to go in now either since I can’t anyway. I didn’t like how my lawyer seemed to brush it off and figured maybe he’s saving that for later. Not sure. I just felt that my DH is the one who should be penalized for this but nothing seems to be happening about it.

Agreed I probably need a new lawyer.

Why does OP need a new lawyer? It's called picking your battles. I'd much rather have a lawyer who knows which battles to fight than one who will die on a molehill. Scorched earth costs more money than anyone here has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

Agreed. I was mainly calling him an ass because he sent his children packing with her. Only an ass would see it fit to have his children living out of someone's basement during a pandemic. Even if she cheated, why make the kids suffer?

DP. First, we don’t know the kids are also his.

Second, if they are, we don’t know that they aren’t splitting their time between mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

You own the house. You need a new lawyer. Be careful or he can say you abandoned the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You own the house. You need a new lawyer. Be careful or he can say you abandoned the house.

LOL, what? A house, barring unusual circumstances, is a marital asset. Usually the largest. What are your talking about?

[Anonymous]

Not DH's kids. She said "my kids"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs are technically correct that he can't bar you from the house unless there is an order in place giving him sole possession of the house. Before you do anything about this, though, you need to think about how this is going to play to a court. If the issue is that you still have personal belongings at the house, such as clothing or personal papers, to which he is wholly refusing to allow you access, that's one thing. But if the issue is that you keep barging into the house unannounced during his time with the kids, the court isn't going to be too thrilled with you either. It's important to think strategically here, so how to approach it depends on why you want/need access to the house.

I haven’t gone in the house since he said we should do all drop offs outside. Before I was quickly coming in, grabbing whatever I needed and then leaving. I’m not trying to go in now either since I can’t anyway. I didn’t like how my lawyer seemed to brush it off and figured maybe he’s saving that for later. Not sure. I just felt that my DH is the one who should be penalized for this but nothing seems to be happening about it.

Agreed I probably need a new lawyer.

If you haven't been going since he asked to do all drop-offs outside, how did you discover he changed the locks?

Saw it on our ring device. He hired someone to do it.

Why were you monitoring this?

[Anonymous]

OP, you probably would get better responses if you ask that your post be moved to the relationship forum. your question has nothing to do with real estate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you probably would get better responses if you ask that your post be moved to the relationship forum. your question has nothing to do with real estate

Most people read DCUM via Recent Topics. It doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters, stop referring to him as "dear husband." He's an ass. Nothing dear about him.

Pretty obvious here the one who left is the one in the wrong. Getting kicked out in the first place, barging in and taking things, spying on ring. The ass is apparent.

Wow, you sound crazy. I don’t see any of that in OP’s story. Methinks you are projecting some issues.

Agreed. I was mainly calling him an ass because he sent his children packing with her. Only an ass would see it fit to have his children living out of someone's basement during a pandemic. Even if she cheated, why make the kids suffer?

DP. First, we don’t know the kids are also his.

Second, if they are, we don’t know that they aren’t splitting their time between mom and dad.

DP. Why would they be doing dropoffs if they weren’t his kids?

The mature thing to do would be for the kids to stay in the house and for the parents to switch off.