I married the wrong guy...should have been the hedge fund guy

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Sometimes they are not hotter . . . at all. One of my very successful exes married a woman who is not physically attractive at all. Some rich guys are married to not very attractive women.


How cute! This post typifies an updated version of this poster's mom telling her that boys are not asking her out because she is too pretty and it scares them.

No, most of the time they are much hotter than the girls they banged along the way.

And again sometimes they are not. People get married for a variety of reasons. My ex did, in fact, marry a woman who is not objectively physically attractive. She is pale, plain, short, stocky and is very masculine looking. Granted, she must have some attributes that he liked, but looks was probably not one of them. Anyway, sorry but no one would say that she is hotter than me. She isn’t. But she got to marry the love of my life, so can’t I just have the small indulgence of knowing that I am way hotter than her?


You are hotter in your own mind. Something about your "beauty" left the guy totally cold. Beauty certainly is in the eye of the beholder.


Well, sometimes guys make decisions that aren't totally based on beauty or hotness. (Shocker, I know.) My "one that got away" married a woman who is probably equal to me on both the hotness and the education/intelligence level. But, at the time I was dating him, I was kind of a mess -- drank too much, slept too little, got upset about dumb stuff, etc. He was not wrong to ditch me. At the end of the day, I think we probably would have been a better match for each other than we were for either of our spouses, but I was going through a weird period and I acted in a way that didn't really represent who I am, or who I would become. Anyway, I hope he is very happy with her. (And he makes a fraction of what my spouse makes, but I don't care about that.)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP I can totally relate. Had a Brunch houseparty drink with my ex (university group of friends, we were 4 on the call). He was coming out of his pool in the south of France to join our call, his beautiful wife in background. Good looking And successful 40 yo with a full set of hair.

While my balding husband was fighting our kids in our cramped kitchen..

I had a big what if moment . Comes at regular intervals from «  the one that got away ».

And then, I snap out of it, remember why I dumped him (he is a type A self centered asshole who made me feel like shit way too often). And why my DH is a wonderfully Intellectual and caring partner who chose a less lucrative career because he cares about ethics and giving back to the world. And I have zero doubts that I am happier with him than with big hair douche.


Are you as beautiful as his wife?


Oh certainly not no although I know he found me very attractive at the time. But more importantly, surprise surprise, she is a few years younger than me.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah palm beach/Jupiter


Lol.


LOL

I guess girls really do go to Jupiter to get more stupider

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They are both good guys. My husband has become extremely risk averse and boring. We are so bored. I am so bored and this lock down is not helping our marriage at all. The other guy reached out bc he feels the same. I have no one to talk to about this now so I’m coming in this board, which is a bad idea, but I just need to talk to someone about this. I’m and I don’t really care if you all judge me. The truth is I could have married either of them.


Troll. This is like the soft core version of bad porn.


Only boring people are bored.
Anonymous
this thread is stupid.

many of you are operating through the shallow lens of living a better short term quarantine life in a bigger and spacious home. what are you getting outside of that?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you become a hedge fund manager yourself so you could buy your own beach house?



Because I’m good at what I do already. This has nothing to do with my career.

But you can't afford a Palm Springs house?



How do you know if we cannot afford home in Palm Prongs? We could. But we cannot move there any time soon because of our jobs in DC. . We could live in NYC or CT, , but that’s not so appealing right now. Marrying the DC lawyer was the safe bet at the time. The bottom has fallen out of the legal industry and it turns out my husband, while a top partner, works in a firm where people will never, ever leave and the executive committee members will not push them out.
Honey, get a divorce so your husband can be free to marry someone who only cares about whether they have a beach house.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Sometimes they are not hotter . . . at all. One of my very successful exes married a woman who is not physically attractive at all. Some rich guys are married to not very attractive women.


How cute! This post typifies an updated version of this poster's mom telling her that boys are not asking her out because she is too pretty and it scares them.

No, most of the time they are much hotter than the girls they banged along the way.

And again sometimes they are not. People get married for a variety of reasons. My ex did, in fact, marry a woman who is not objectively physically attractive. She is pale, plain, short, stocky and is very masculine looking. Granted, she must have some attributes that he liked, but looks was probably not one of them. Anyway, sorry but no one would say that she is hotter than me. She isn’t. But she got to marry the love of my life, so can’t I just have the small indulgence of knowing that I am way hotter than her?


You are hotter in your own mind. Something about your "beauty" left the guy totally cold. Beauty certainly is in the eye of the beholder.

Hotter in real life too, and I am also smart and a great person. But if he wanted to sleep with her for the rest of his life, that was his choice. Don’t tell me that you are all so righteous and holy that you’ve never compared yourselves favorably to an ex’s wife.
That never even crossed my mind.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Sometimes they are not hotter . . . at all. One of my very successful exes married a woman who is not physically attractive at all. Some rich guys are married to not very attractive women.


How cute! This post typifies an updated version of this poster's mom telling her that boys are not asking her out because she is too pretty and it scares them.

No, most of the time they are much hotter than the girls they banged along the way.

And again sometimes they are not. People get married for a variety of reasons. My ex did, in fact, marry a woman who is not objectively physically attractive. She is pale, plain, short, stocky and is very masculine looking. Granted, she must have some attributes that he liked, but looks was probably not one of them. Anyway, sorry but no one would say that she is hotter than me. She isn’t. But she got to marry the love of my life, so can’t I just have the small indulgence of knowing that I am way hotter than her?


You are hotter in your own mind. Something about your "beauty" left the guy totally cold. Beauty certainly is in the eye of the beholder.


Well, sometimes guys make decisions that aren't totally based on beauty or hotness. (Shocker, I know.) My "one that got away" married a woman who is probably equal to me on both the hotness and the education/intelligence level. But, at the time I was dating him, I was kind of a mess -- drank too much, slept too little, got upset about dumb stuff, etc. He was not wrong to ditch me. At the end of the day, I think we probably would have been a better match for each other than we were for either of our spouses, but I was going through a weird period and I acted in a way that didn't really represent who I am, or who I would become. Anyway, I hope he is very happy with her. (And he makes a fraction of what my spouse makes, but I don't care about that.)
You sound like a mature and thoughtful person!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you become a hedge fund manager yourself so you could buy your own beach house?



Because I’m good at what I do already. This has nothing to do with my career.

But you can't afford a Palm Springs house?



How do you know if we cannot afford home in Palm Prongs? We could. But we cannot move there any time soon because of our jobs in DC. . We could live in NYC or CT, , but that’s not so appealing right now. Marrying the DC lawyer was the safe bet at the time. The bottom has fallen out of the legal industry and it turns out my husband, while a top partner, works in a firm where people will never, ever leave and the executive committee members will not push them out.
Honey, get a divorce so your husband can be free to marry someone who doesn't only care about whether they have a beach house.
Whoops, fixed that!
Anonymous
Bad financial planning.
ddintysons
Member Offline
Well, sometimes guys make decisions that aren't totally based on beauty or hotness. (Shocker, I know.) My "one that got away" married a woman who is probably equal to me on both the hotness and the education/intelligence level. But, at the time I was dating him, I was kind of a mess -- drank too much, slept too little, got upset about dumb stuff, etc. He was not wrong to ditch me. At the end of the day, I think we probably would have been a better match for each other than we were for either of our spouses, but I was going through a weird period and I acted in a way that didn't really represent who I am, or who I would become. Anyway, I hope he is very happy with her. (And he makes a fraction of what my spouse makes, but I don't care about that.)


I call the "drank too much, slept too little" period in my life college. And I was an accounting major.

However, the parties we threw were out of this world WILD.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:LOL you are a boring slag clinging to the very last bit of attractiveness you think you have and are second guessing your entire existence because some guy you used to f$ck got drunk and texted you in the middle of a pandemic. Grow up.


No. He texts me in the morning when he gets to work.


Sorry but you're not the only one he's texting, sweetie.
Anonymous
I find most hedge fund guys to be very transactional, not just in their professional lives but also their personal lives. Big law partners are rarely as wealthy and sometimes less exciting, but most big law partners are probably better family men than most hedge fund guys. Obviously there are many exceptions.

Also, while big law partners make a lot of money, they don't make enough to say "I quit, and now I'm going to do what I always wanted to do." Some hedge fund guys can do this well before they reach retirement age.
Anonymous
Sorry but you're not the only one he's texting, sweetie.


The real fun will start when his wife's PI finds the racy selfies you have been sending him when he texts. Then, not only will your husband dump you, none of your friends will sit by you at the next PTA meeting because of your (now) public skanky-ness.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Seriously. They were both smart, ambitious and I stuck w the DC lawyer. Meanwhile I’m sitting in my house in NW DC while the other guy I could have married now lives in Palm Springs, 1/ 2 block from the beach. I really screws that up.


HOW sad that you describe your marrige options by their job titles. And judge the quality of your decision based upon the home you got out of the deal.
SO transactional.

Did you choose based upon the men, and their potential as life partners, or their anticipated earning potential?

(Sounds like your husband did not do too well either!)
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