Anonymous wrote:I worry that my oldest dd will be too beautiful. She’s still in early elementary so we’ll what happens as she goes through puberty, etc. but so far it appears she has hit the genetic lottery. She is tall, thin boned, graceful, extremely photogenic, and has charisma and charm out her ears. She is extroverted and fearless. And has really great hair. Nearly everybody she talks to reacts to her with smiles and compliments. She gets free food at restaurants, strangers go out of their way not to disappoint her.

As parents, we know there’s not a lot we can do to combat the messages she gets so we try we try to focus our praise on her character and non-physical qualities: she’s kind, sensitive, empathetic, very smart and good at math. She’s good at persevering she’s faced with a challenge. She’s a good sister and likes helping out at home. We will just do our best to her be the best person she can be regardless of her looks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind of. I named my daughter Gretchen in the hopes that she will be cute. If she ends up being 6' 2'' with a large build and an unattractive face, we might have to change it

In what weird world is Gretchen of all names considered a pretty girl name?

Anonymous wrote:It's not as important for guys to be attractive because both the labor market and dating market place a higher value on intellect, confidence, and creativity. Most of the attractive women end up married to guys that are average looking but successful in their careers, went to good schools etc. Most "attractive" men who are not successful in their careers do not end up marrying attractive women. So, parental concerns are different or should be different depending on gender. I have boys and I'm mostly worried about their achievement in school and ability to to earn money later. I'd be worried about this for a daughter too, but I'd also be much more worried about how she looks.

Anonymous wrote:People want everything for their children. I think everyone wants their children to be happy, rich, intelligent and beautiful. It doesn’t always work out but everyone wants it for their kids. At least most parents.

Also, in anthropology babies and baby animals are “cute” so their adults will care for them.

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your child?Many beautiful children turn out ugly and many ugly and awkward children turn out beautiful. I think it matters more to the parent that the child, especially if the parent tends to project and be insecure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think “cute” is ideal. Breathtakingly gorgeous people can end up messed up emotionally for a whole host of reasons.

This. I think my 8yo is reasonably cute and I love the way she looks, but she's not stunning/gorgeous, and I'm glad for that. She'll have to develop her personality, intellect and other attributes.

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, DS 27, DD 25, and DD 23. The older 2 kids are conventionally attractive, but the youngest one is unattractive. I feel bad for her. She never gets asked out, though she’s bubbly and sweet. I know a man is not a plan, but it sure would be nice if guys could appreciate her smarts & kindness.

So it does matter to me a bit, only insofar as it’s tough for me to experience her bewilderment that nobody wants to date her.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone NOT think their kids are attractive?