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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
To the 30-yr-old man sitting on the metro train reading a newspaper:
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Anonymous
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My thoughts:
To the OP--at 24 weeks, you probably are "obviously" pregnant to yourself and your friends who know you and your normally flat stomach, but may not be to others who are worried that they would insult a woman who is just slightly larger? THAT SAID I think people who don't give up their seats for pregnant ladies are awful, but just wanted to remind you that you may not be as obvious that early on to the rest of the outside world 
And to the people who regard pregnancy as a choice, not a disability. Of course it's a choice, but if women didn't choose to do it, the human race would fail to exist--including the selfish (usually white, middle aged men) whose own mothers made the "choice" to bring them into the world. I dont think being pregnant automatically awards you a seat, but if you are uncomfortable and will be riding for awhile, I dont see why pregnant woman shouldn't have more priority than someone who is fully able to stand comfortably. |
Anonymous
Totally agree with you on the blind x pregnant issue. Since when blindness makes you feel tired, dizzy and off balance? Yeah, I prefer 10000 times to be pregnant rather than blind, but we are talking about preference for a seat, not overall quality of life. Also pp, are you sure pregnancy is a disability according to federal law? I am not from here and in my country, by federal law, pregnant women, handicaps, and people holding young children (that are not able to walk/stand) and seniors have preference in lines and seats on public transportation. Just wondering if it is the same here or if we just have to count on the good will of people to give us their seat. |
Anonymous
Another voice of agreement. |
Anonymous
Yes, it is unfair to say all white males are rude and don't give up their seats, but on certain lines, white males make up a majority of the riders, and when no rider gets up to give a pregnant or otherwise "deserving" person a seat, it makes every white male look rude. I already posted about this and said that some were fine and some weren't. The same is true of every group, but I noticed very clearly that in my experience, when I got on a different line train with more minority male riders, I had people jumping up to give me seats, while on my regular line, I did better if I managed to ride at a time when trains were less crowded and had open seats. |
Anonymous
I couldn't cite the actual law off the top of my head, so I just looked this up--"The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) does not include pregnancy as a disability because of its temporary nature. However, the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA), which amended Title VII in 1978, does require similar treatment of disabled and pregnant workers. For accommodation purposes, pregnancy and disability are treated similarly." See http://deaflaw.wordpress.com/2009/03/11/pregnancy-and-disability-are-they-anything-alike/ Other related facts: Pregnancy is covered under most short-term disability insurance policies, and employers cannot discriminate against pregnant workers due to their pregnancy in hiring/firing decisions. However, I'm not sure if the above laws would mean that the priority seats on a metro train MUST be given to a pregnant woman. I still think it is just "the right thing to do" though. |
Anonymous
I hear what you are saying on that, and did not mean to criticize you specifically. But even observations of precisely that nature would not be tolerated here if directed at any other group. Does anyone disagree with that? Maybe its ok, and maybe it isn't, but it was something that struck me about the discussion. |
Anonymous
I do agree with what you're saying - if I for instance had said that white men were jumping up to give me a seat but black men were rude and ignored me, I'm sure that would get some very harsh responses saying I was a racist. However, I think that in the context of this discussion, noting that it appears that a large number of white men act in a rude or discourteous manner on Metro is not meant to be offensive on a racist or sexist level. It's just an observation of people's experiences. I will state again that not all white men are rude. Many of them are very courteous. Even on Metro, which seems to bring out the worst in people in general, myself included. |
Anonymous
| Personally, I have had such varying experiences as to who does and does not give up their seat (and who is or is not helpful in general when I'm on public transit with a child), that I would never generalize to say one race or gender was helpful or one was unhelpful. I've had white middle-aged men in suits be wonderful, I've had African American teenage girls be wonderful, and I've had people of all kinds be oblivious. I would be surprised if there was a real difference just beyond people's perceptions. Even without meaning to be prejudiced, once one type of person is unhelpful one day, our brains tend to hypothesize, "oh, white guys aren't helpful?" [or whatever] and then look for data to back that up (confirmation bias, I think). |
Anonymous
| Let this be a lesson for us all giving birth to (white) sons that we will be sure to teach them good manners, be compassionate and that chivalry is not dead. |
zumbamama
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My dad was just telling me how no one offers him a seat. He's 65, disabled from a stroke and hobbles to work with a walker. I think males and females of all colors pretty much ignore him.
I wish there were people to monitor the cars and take care of stuff like that for people who need a seat, or people starting trouble. A few months ago there was a fist fight right in front of me on the train and no one did anything. |
Anonymous
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Backing away from any generalizations, I think the problem is Metro itself. There is something about that environment that seems to cause otherwise rational, nice people to behave like jerks. Maybe it's the unreliability, the fact that trains get packed, that Metro can't seem to announce even the most minor of problems in a timely fashion. Who knows, but I think it makes people want to live in their own little cocoon and not really care about others.
The same can be said for drivers - roads are packed, any little accident can cause an hour-long back-up, and people start to only care about getting to where they're going and screw everyone else. Yet, I would bet that most of the people who speed up when they see my turn signal to get into their lane are probably otherwise pretty nice. Just something to ponder. |
Anonymous
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On the busses, many drivers are controlling of the passengers, so you would think they would notice a pg woman who is obviously struggling.
To the bedrest commentor: Gosh, who would pay the bills then? You are obviously too privileged to understand anyone else but yourself. |
Anonymous
I've found women much nicer and willing to give up their seats then men--maybe b/c we can relate (or know that could be us one day)? BTW I've found the same at work while pg & unable to walk so fast any more--men slamming the door in my face, and women asking if I need a hand. Of course this is an overall pattern, not that all men or all white men are unhelpful. |
Anonymous
| Wow, men slamming doors in your face! That's really classy. |
Anonymous
I should clarify: arrogant, Republican, NY lawyers. I'm a busy lawyer myself but never have sunk so low. and I wonder if all the white men who've been rude to pg women here in DC are disgruntled Republicans?
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