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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
To the 30-yr-old man sitting on the metro train reading a newspaper:
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Anonymous
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In my experience, women and teenagers are very quick to offer seats. Minority men are also well mannered in that department. Middle aged white men are the WORST.
I hopped on a train at metro center when i was about 8.5 months pg. Train was crowded (but not packed packed) and all the seats were taken. An older white gentleman (complete with seersucker suit) was sitting a few rows away from where I was standing. He saw me looking for a seat and searched around horrified that no one else was getting up. So he got up, from his window seat, and motioned for me to come take it. As I was making my way back there, a middle aged white guy saw him getting up and moved for the seat. The older guy literally held him back and said "Sorry, this seat is for the lady." The younger guy actually rolled his eyes! Everyone else on the train buried themselves in their collars as the older guy made his way to a pole. If I hadn't really needed the seat, I'd have let him keep it. If nothing else, it made me really aware of teaching my son proper manners. |
Anonymous
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I have had the same experience with middle-aged white guys not giving up seats while I've been pregnant. 95% of the time it's a middle-aged woman who offers me a seat. In fact, as a long-time metro rider I find middle-aged white guys are the most inconsiderate riders in general. What I love is the white guy leg spread where they take up 3/4 of the 2-person seat (happens on planes all the time too). It's like...sir, do you realize that you're taking up my space? Are you aware that other people exist? Does it seem like I enjoy being crammed into 1/2 of a seat?
I'm having a son and I agree with PP...makes you realize the importance of making sure your son doesn't grow up to be one of these people. |
Anonymous
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ITA with most of what's been said, and my prototype white lawyer, Red Line DH is an offender. He's also the jerk who will block an aisle with his cart without a care and who will block the open lanes of the gas station by parking stupidly.
My observation, after being married 15 years, is that he truly doesn't think or "get it." He doesn't "see," either. He is incorrigible and selfish and cannot be reprogrammed, evidently. Oddly, the one thing he'll always do without fail is assist feeble elderly people, at the airport, store, etc. Like offer to load their packages before they think to ask. I know, I don't get it either. |
Anonymous
| I don't think the leg spread is limited to white guys only. I'm a minority and I notice that men of ALL different races do it. I just think to myself, "Please, it ain't THAT big." |
Anonymous
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Oh god, the people who sit with their knees wide apart... It's one thing if you're a bigger person and don't quite fit in a single seat, but most of the time it's just some skinny young guy taking up half the seat next to him. We'd all love to sprawl like Metro is our own personal lounge, but when the car gets full, sit up and keep your knees together!
Of course, even worse are the ones who scooch their legs wider AFTER you sit down next to them. MY THIGH DOES NOT WANT TO CUDDLE WITH YOUR THIGH, THANK YOU. |
Anonymous
 Hahaha YES!
I ride the S2/4 bus from DC to Silver Spring EVERYDAY (and back) and I notice this, too. Men just crowd you out, and they have the worst breath! They always look at what I'm reading and they always stare. I hate that! I get on early and get a window seat, and then some guy just plops himself into the seat next to me and proceeds spreads out like he's Louis-the-freakin-XIV. I always have to scrunch way over next to the window to avoid touching his nasty self, maybe only taking up 75% of MY OWN SEAT, even with my enormous girth, AND with my bags, and they STILL manage to continue spreading until you're basically pressed up against the window like a splattered bug on a windshield. Women are modest about it at least. They take up as much room as they need, and they are courteous about sitting politely, not like men who just invade everything they see, and everywhere they go. I just want to yell, "Get the F off me!" |
Anonymous
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YES! I hate it when men (and pre-pubescent teenage boys who think they're men) spread their legs!
Personally, I think it's a matter of overcompensation for guys with small dicks. |
Anonymous
| I will say, I have been on my metro with my husband who will hope up for just about anyone who may need a seat (elderly, pregnant, woman/man with small child, a woman will high heels, etc), and he is very white, 40ish, BUT blue collar in his work. Hmmmm, never thought about it until this thread.... |
Anonymous
Now I'll just be laughing every time I see a man spreading his legs. |
Anonymous
Exactly. Plus, it's good practice for when you get to the hospital and you need to make sure the doctor remembers your birth plan. You have to be your own advocate. |
Anonymous
My husband is a (white) lawyer who will always give up his seat for someone on the metro. However, he doesn't take the metro until well after rush hour, so perhaps y'all are missing him.  Regardless, my experience in general mirrors that of most of the PPs on this board. I just wanted to pipe up and say that it's not all white-collar white men in town; unfortunately, many of these a-holes give every metro-riding lawyer in town a bad name. That said, anyone that needs these seats should definitely be more aggressive; if someone's being an a-hole, all of us should call him out on it!!
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Anonymous
Yes, I was just thinking that. I wonder if it has to do with which line you are riding when. I'm coming in on orange or blue from the east side of town so my ride is often predominately African-American and I see plenty of leg spreaders. |
Anonymous
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I don't ask for a seat because I don't want to ask someone who might actually need the seat--not all disabilities are immediately visible, and I don't want to embarrass someone who might actually need the seat, yanno?
My husband (white, lawyer--and yeah, I'm in general agreement with the boys-on-the-red-line stereotype) does get up, but he says oftentimes if he's not sure if someone is pregnant (and doesn't want to embarrass someone who isn't) he'll just surreptitiously get up and move as though he's getting off at the next stop without asking if the person wants the seat. My favorite was when an eighty-year old lady with a cane very pointedly asked me if I wanted a seat and when I said "oh, no, I couldn't possibly," someone else gave me a seat. I promise to be her when I grow up. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I'd like to thank all the folks on the Red Line this morning who were okay with ignoring my pregnant ass hanging onto the pole and a stroller for dear life, and finally giving up and sitting down on the nasty carpet. The carpet!! (I told DH later and he asked nicely if I planned to burn my pants now, lol.) Even better, when someone eventually left the train and I took her seat, I had to stand up for a minute to adjust the stroller, and a young woman tried to sneak in behind me to sit down. I did smile sweetly and speak up at that one. Come ON.
What was interesting was that a few stops after I got my seat, a blind woman with a cane got on and three people offered her a seat. I wondered if blindess trumps pregnancy in people's minds (and fair enough if it does -- I'd give up my seat to a blind person if they needed it, even now). DH said everyone was probably feeling uncomfortable and guilty the whole time and as soon as the blind woman got on they leapt at the chance to feel better about themselves - ha! I wonder if part of it is that some pregnant women are totally fine standing. And that's great. It's just nice to OFFER, when in doubt. People can always turn you down if they're feeling okay standing! In fact, the blind woman did prefer to stand... |
Anonymous
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OH god, this thread can start to make you lose faith in people.
Everyone reading this....even the pregnant ladies, let's go out of our way to do something REALLY nice tomorrow, if only to correct the crap karma of others!!!! ugh. I cannot imagine sitting there, watching ANYONE else struggle. |