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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
To the 30-yr-old man sitting on the metro train reading a newspaper:
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Anonymous
| It is true that not all disabilities are visible so I probably wouldn't ask either. I had a debilitating back injury a few years ago and standing was incredibly painful but you couldn't tell just by looking at me. That said, I still wouldn't take a seat away from a pregnant woman... |
Anonymous
| I have to echo some of the other posters that minority men on Metro were VERY considerate when I was pregnant. Like almost helping me into the seat and everything (in a nice way). White men...eh. Some were fine, of course, and some not. Although I'm not pregnant right now, this morning I had a guy almost knock me over while shoving his way in front of me getting onto an escalator. Apparently getting to the top of the escalator one step sooner made it totally worth it to almost push me down. |
Anonymous
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Pregnancy is not a disability.
I've been pregnant...3 times. I would not ask someone for a seat simply for being pregnant. I did accept seats when I was 30 weeks and had a bad ankle/foot injury. (As if the waddle wasn't bad enough, I had to wear one of those space boot things for 5 weeks) |
Anonymous
I was just about to post the same thing. Give me a break, ladies. If you're feeling so "off-balance", then maybe you should be on bedrest. |
Anonymous
That was gratuitously nasty. I'm the PP who said
I realize pregnancy is not a disability, and I don't think all pregnant women need to be treated with kid gloves. But when I'm pregnant, my low blood pressure gets extra low, and it makes it hard for me to stand in place for long without feeling dizzy and faint. It's hard to feel dizzy and faint on a moving train, without falling down and/or actually fainting. Sitting down is not always optional -- that's why I sat down on the floor today. The kind thing for passengers to do is to notice a pregnant woman and OFFER. If she's feeling great and doesn't need the seat, she can and should say so. The kind thing for you, PPs, to do is not insult people who have a harder time than you apparently do while pregnant. Why would you be so mean? |
Anonymous
This is just silly. I am second trimester and totally off balance and having dizzy spells WHEN STANDING FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME, but no way do I need to be on bedrest. I am just fine when sitting. Luckily, I do not take metro. The above PP must have had smooth sailing all pregnancy, and lucky for her. This is not true of everyone. I have been quite honestly floored at how physically draining being pregnant is, and I'm not even to the end. Given how hard pregnancy can be on your body, I think it is extremely gracious when others offer a seat to a pregnant woman. Maybe not all of us need it, but some sure do. |
Anonymous
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" I wondered if blindess trumps pregnancy in people's minds (and fair enough if it does -- I'd give up my seat to a blind person if they needed it, even now). "
Um . . . yeah, blindness trumps pregnancy. I can't believe there's even a question about this. |
Anonymous
wow, I missed that post. An all time DCUM low |
Anonymous
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Goodness, this thread is making people hostile. I'm the one who wrote " I wondered if blindess trumps pregnancy in people's minds (and fair enough if it does -- I'd give up my seat to a blind person if they needed it, even now). "
First of all, please note that in the very same sentence, I said fair enough if it does! It was just an observation I was making about why people on the train might have responded the way they did. Second of all, if you reread my post, you'll note that the blind woman I saw refused several offers of a seat and did just fine standing. I, meanwhile, was literally going to faint if I hadn't sat down on the floor. I think the blind woman might find this discussion rather patronizing... The point is, if a person looks like they could use a seat -- whether someone is blind, older, pregnant, unsteady on their feet, using a cane, carrying a child, WHATEVER -- the kind thing to do is to notice and OFFER. Then it's up to the person to accept or refuse based on their own needs/abilities. Period. I'm off to enjoy my day. I hope the people who are so angry here enjoy theirs as well. We're all just trying to get through the day without falling down, no? |
Anonymous
| White male lawyer here who always gave up a seat for pregnant/elderly/women/etc during my time on the metro. It's interesting how free people feel to stereotype about white males. Is there anyone here who would dispute that if someone made similar generalizations about any other racial or gender-based group, there would be a chorus of outrage? Just sayin' |
Anonymous
I think another thing about the pregnancy issue is that a blind passenger is more readily apparent than a pregnant passenger so that may be part of it. When I'm sitting in a seat near the door I try to look for pregnant passengers but I must admit it feels uncomfortable to be staring at people's stomachs -- especially when it's hard to tell if someone is pregnant or overweight. In fact, two weeks ago I think I gave me seat to a woman who was overweight and not pregnant. At any rate, the point I'm trying to make is that people don't automatically look at people's stomachs so I could see a passenger not noticing a pregnant passenger. But a blind person I would notice immediately. Not saying all the passengers who didn't offer the pregnant pp a seat were just oblivious. Some were no doubt just being rude. But I can see that there may be some who didn't notice. I try to notice. |
Anonymous
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I always stood when pregnant with DC1, because I felt fine. Now pregnant with DC2, I feel horrible and huge, and will definitely ask for seats.
You do what you have to do. |
Anonymous
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say, no, I *don't* think blindness trumps pregnancy, and in fact, I think to say so does a horrible disservice to vision-impaired people. They are VISION impaired, not MOBILITY impaired, guys! In fact, I once saw a blind woman on the metro getting steadily angrier as about 3 people AT EVERY STOP offered her a seat for several stops in a row, which she declined each time, and finally started yelling that her legs were just fine, thank you!
Also for the record, according to federal law, pregnancy IS a disability. Kudos to you if you had an easy pregnancy and could stand for hours at a time on a crowded, jerky train without problem, but I'm only 3 months and already my metro ride home is a nightmare, between the nausea and the exhaustion. I can't imagine what it will be like for me when I'm 8 months and surrounded by all you hostile people. I do feel like ANYONE who needs a seat because they are not feeling well (for any reason), should be comfortable speaking up, without feeling at fault, but wouldn't the world be a nicer place if we all re-learned courtesy towards others and at least offered a seat to those who apparently might need one? They can always refuse if they don't! |
Anonymous
I had an opposite experience with an AA gentleman when I was pregnant--he yelled at me for not moving quickly enough down the aisle. What a jerk. |
Anonymous
I totally agree with you. Wondering when someone would bring that up. |