Are you TRULY very attractive? If so, how does it affect your professional life?

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[Post New]05/20/2018 07:43
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:jennifer gates who is bill gates daughter is hot and rich. Sucks for her


that's a stretch. rich, yes but daddy isn't giving her any money. and hot? ...more like "cute".


OK Donald
[Post New]05/20/2018 10:58
quote
Anonymous
At work I dress conservatively, wear my hair up and wear little make-up. Early in my career I didn't do that and I got hit on all the time by a lot of guys single and married. Once I made the change at a new job it really made my professional life much easier. I met my DH at work and we were business friends for almost a year and then I invited him out because I thought he was really cute. When he saw me with my hair down, wearing some makeup and wearing a sundress he almost didn't recognize me. I don't think he was disappointed.
[Post New]05/21/2018 16:48
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Anonymous
I used to be more attractive than the other women in my office— I’ve aged out of that, but it definitely gave me an advantage. I’m a Fed attorney, and the head of my office — a 60 yo man— would often take me to his meetings with the Secretary and other political appointees. I would like to think I impressed him with my quick mind and legal acumen, but realistically other attorneys in my office are just as capable. Attractive people just have a huge natural advantage— I see this even more now that I’ve moved closer towards average and I miss it!
[Post New]05/21/2018 17:00
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Anonymous
I'm not "stop traffic" gorgeous, but I'm an above-average attractive woman in a field that's almost all men (like it's weirder for me to not be the only woman in a room than the other way around). I also like fashion, and since I'm always going to stick out anyway...I just dress the way I feel like dressing which is pretty feminine. I'm also petite and look younger than my age.

In my case, I've found that people don't always take me seriously...even compared to other women. They are more likely to assume I'm lost when I walk into a meeting than that I might even be the one running it. I don't know if this has helped me or hurt me in comparison to just being a woman in a male-dominated field...but I've learned to flip the script and sometimes use people's biases to my advantage. I.e., let them tell me things they think I wouldn't understand or catch them off guard by being much more knowledgeable about something than they expected (though given my job and background, they shouldn't be surprised).
[Post New]05/21/2018 18:15
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:At work I dress conservatively, wear my hair up and wear little make-up. Early in my career I didn't do that and I got hit on all the time by a lot of guys single and married. Once I made the change at a new job it really made my professional life much easier. I met my DH at work and we were business friends for almost a year and then I invited him out because I thought he was really cute. When he saw me with my hair down, wearing some makeup and wearing a sundress he almost didn't recognize me. I don't think he was disappointed.

Same here. I’m Latina. Interesting to read posts by attractive white people framing being very good looking as a positive.

Being a Latina in a predominantly white workplaces and a very un-diverse industry, I can say the grief over my looks has been terrible. White men like and want to help me, until I won’t sleep or flirt with them, or accept advances. A lot of white women hate me almost on sight and, inevitably, the gossip, nitpicking, blowing up any minor mistakes I make etc. start. I know people are going to respond blaming me, somehow when I wear super high necklines, minimal makeup, flats, and boxy cuts, keep my hair up, and do other things to really downplay my looks, I get treated decently. I literally look like a school marm at work and have to take great pains to be obsequious and unassuming.

I think the assumption white people make that a Latina can’t have gotten a job on her own merits is amplified by the assumption that “hot” people also get preference and comes out as hostility/contempt. Mind you, I’m in a white collar position that no one gets without top credentials and my credentials are on the website.

[Post New]05/21/2018 18:48
quote
tallchris66
Member Offline
Yes it helps me. I'm a tall male, built shoulders, thick back and chest, 6 pack, biceps with veins. Kahki's and polo is all I ever wear cause it's dress code so it's never really a secret. People never forget me cause I'm tall and fit (a rare combination for a family man who is almost 40). I also love working with challenging people. If I can get in front of a prospect I can usually close them.
[Post New]05/21/2018 19:15
quote
Anonymous
I'm in biglaw, and I think it helps a lot for women, not much for men. If you just look at the partnership ranks, the women mostly are very put-together, dress well, and in-shape. While there are a handful of truly attractive male partners, the rest of them are overweight-to-obese, have terrible grooming habits, and look about 20 years older than their actual age.
[Post New]05/21/2018 19:17
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think it probably hurts me. I'm young (28) and look younger, and as an attorney I think I sometimes don't get the respect that my experience and ability deserve, especially from male OC.


I think this also. If you are too attractive, men assume you are dumb. For women in serious, male dominated professions, it is best to be merely pleasant looking.
[Post New]05/21/2018 19:31
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm in biglaw, and I think it helps a lot for women, not much for men. If you just look at the partnership ranks, the women mostly are very put-together, dress well, and in-shape. While there are a handful of truly attractive male partners, the rest of them are overweight-to-obese, have terrible grooming habits, and look about 20 years older than their actual age.

You’re talking about attractive and in shape, not VERY attractive. The former helps women, the latter makes us targets of both men and other wonen, except in some sales jobs.
[Post New]05/21/2018 20:12
quote
Anonymous
tallchris66 wrote:Yes it helps me. I'm a tall male, built shoulders, thick back and chest, 6 pack, biceps with veins. Kahki's and polo is all I ever wear cause it's dress code so it's never really a secret. People never forget me cause I'm tall and fit (a rare combination for a family man who is almost 40). I also love working with challenging people. If I can get in front of a prospect I can usually close them.


Yeah being attractive helps in sales.
[Post New]05/22/2018 00:28
quote
Anonymous
tallchris66 wrote:Yes it helps me. I'm a tall male, built shoulders, thick back and chest, 6 pack, biceps with veins. Kahki's and polo is all I ever wear cause it's dress code so it's never really a secret. People never forget me cause I'm tall and fit (a rare combination for a family man who is almost 40). I also love working with challenging people. If I can get in front of a prospect I can usually close them.

You’ve described your muscularity and height, but you do realize that being tall and muscular doesn’t mean you aren’t ugly?
[Post New]05/22/2018 16:13
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
tallchris66 wrote:Yes it helps me. I'm a tall male, built shoulders, thick back and chest, 6 pack, biceps with veins. Kahki's and polo is all I ever wear cause it's dress code so it's never really a secret. People never forget me cause I'm tall and fit (a rare combination for a family man who is almost 40). I also love working with challenging people. If I can get in front of a prospect I can usually close them.

You’ve described your muscularity and height, but you do realize that being tall and muscular doesn’t mean you aren’t ugly?


You're absolutely right, and that's something I've wondered about my whole life. My somewhat cloistered upbringing (homeschooled 1-12th) kept me from even being aware that women had an opinion on guys' looks for quite some time. I'm still not sure, but my wife assures me that my prominent brow, and strong nose and jaw IS attractive, but it could just be her. As long as she's on board then I'm cool. lol. The other day, one of my son's teachers told me that she thought I was the most attractive dad in the whole school (large public school). Sigh, so two women think I'm not ugly. At least the rest of the women out there if they don't agree are polite enough to keep their opinions to themselves.
[Post New]05/22/2018 18:01
quote
Anonymous
I work in technology and I think being attractive has meant I am not taken seriously (even though I have a master's in cs from a top rated school), has led to my harassment by male co-workers and has generally made things awkward.

I get comments like- you must be from marketing. Or, you probably don't get (insert complex technology term here). It has really sucked at times.
[Post New]05/22/2018 19:46
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At work I dress conservatively, wear my hair up and wear little make-up. Early in my career I didn't do that and I got hit on all the time by a lot of guys single and married. Once I made the change at a new job it really made my professional life much easier. I met my DH at work and we were business friends for almost a year and then I invited him out because I thought he was really cute. When he saw me with my hair down, wearing some makeup and wearing a sundress he almost didn't recognize me. I don't think he was disappointed.

Same here. I’m Latina. Interesting to read posts by attractive white people framing being very good looking as a positive.

Being a Latina in a predominantly white workplaces and a very un-diverse industry, I can say the grief over my looks has been terrible. White men like and want to help me, until I won’t sleep or flirt with them, or accept advances. A lot of white women hate me almost on sight and, inevitably, the gossip, nitpicking, blowing up any minor mistakes I make etc. start. I know people are going to respond blaming me, somehow when I wear super high necklines, minimal makeup, flats, and boxy cuts, keep my hair up, and do other things to really downplay my looks, I get treated decently. I literally look like a school marm at work and have to take great pains to be obsequious and unassuming.

I think the assumption white people make that a Latina can’t have gotten a job on her own merits is amplified by the assumption that “hot” people also get preference and comes out as hostility/contempt. Mind you, I’m in a white collar position that no one gets without top credentials and my credentials are on the website.



How do you know that the other people posting are white??
[Post New]05/22/2018 20:27
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
tallchris66 wrote:Yes it helps me. I'm a tall male, built shoulders, thick back and chest, 6 pack, biceps with veins. Kahki's and polo is all I ever wear cause it's dress code so it's never really a secret. People never forget me cause I'm tall and fit (a rare combination for a family man who is almost 40). I also love working with challenging people. If I can get in front of a prospect I can usually close them.

You’ve described your muscularity and height, but you do realize that being tall and muscular doesn’t mean you aren’t ugly?


You're absolutely right, and that's something I've wondered about my whole life. My somewhat cloistered upbringing (homeschooled 1-12th) kept me from even being aware that women had an opinion on guys' looks for quite some time. I'm still not sure, but my wife assures me that my prominent brow, and strong nose and jaw IS attractive, but it could just be her. As long as she's on board then I'm cool. lol. The other day, one of my son's teachers told me that she thought I was the most attractive dad in the whole school (large public school). Sigh, so two women think I'm not ugly. At least the rest of the women out there if they don't agree are polite enough to keep their opinions to themselves.

Just from reading your posts, I know you have an ugly face and were probably a fat kid or nerd growing up. The way you catalog compliments and are hyper conscious of your every feature isn’t how someone who has been attractive all their life behaves. You’re insecure.
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