A question about affairs

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[Post New]05/07/2018 13:58
quote
Anonymous
What would your partner say if they found out about your affairs?
[Post New]05/07/2018 14:04
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Anonymous
*yawn*

Another loser looking for approval to be a douche.
[Post New]05/07/2018 14:09
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ex girlfriend had a fling over a week period. We were close to breaking up and had a bad relationship and we both were immature and bad communicators.
I found out, we broke up, got back together. Dated another 5 years and then I cheated on her by having an affair with a married coworker.

I can tell you that she regretted her fling and years later was disgusted with herself.
I’m disgusted with myself as well and regret what I did.
I know the woman chose to have an affair but I hurt that young family immensely.


I hope I learn from my actions. You have not. Go seek help


Did the guy confront you? I would have kicked her to the curb and then beaten you senseless.


I wasn't the first person she cheated with apparently, so I think her husband wasn't as angry with me. They had a 3 year old at the time. I did so out of revenge to my girlfriend at the time. I found myself wanting to inflict pain on her. The woman was a serial cheater i think, so she just wanted to fee lust and desire. It all blew up in my face when i ended it. She told my ex who told her husband.
My ex, by that time, had taken therapy and really worked on herself. I hurt her a lot with my actions since we were in a pretty good place in our relationship and were actually talking marriage. We were more open and vulnerable...well she was. My affair lasted a few months. We tried moving on, but she was too hurt. I ended up breaking it off with her .

This was 3 years ago. I haven't dated anyone since. A couple of ONS but I am still working on myself. She hasn't dated anyone either. We spoke a month ago...I think I am going to make a move.
[Post New]05/07/2018 14:13
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Anonymous
No regrets but I also dodged getting caught or getting an STD. In retrospect, it was worth it only because I got away with it, so to speak.
[Post New]05/07/2018 14:27
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Anonymous
It seems many people who have affairs feel regret and self loathing afterwards, but cant see that or realize it when they are in the fog.
[Post New]05/07/2018 14:35
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ex girlfriend had a fling over a week period. We were close to breaking up and had a bad relationship and we both were immature and bad communicators.
I found out, we broke up, got back together. Dated another 5 years and then I cheated on her by having an affair with a married coworker.

I can tell you that she regretted her fling and years later was disgusted with herself.
I’m disgusted with myself as well and regret what I did.
I know the woman chose to have an affair but I hurt that young family immensely.


I hope I learn from my actions. You have not. Go seek help


Did the guy confront you? I would have kicked her to the curb and then beaten you senseless.


I wasn't the first person she cheated with apparently, so I think her husband wasn't as angry with me. They had a 3 year old at the time. I did so out of revenge to my girlfriend at the time. I found myself wanting to inflict pain on her. The woman was a serial cheater i think, so she just wanted to fee lust and desire. It all blew up in my face when i ended it. She told my ex who told her husband.
My ex, by that time, had taken therapy and really worked on herself. I hurt her a lot with my actions since we were in a pretty good place in our relationship and were actually talking marriage. We were more open and vulnerable...well she was. My affair lasted a few months. We tried moving on, but she was too hurt. I ended up breaking it off with her .

This was 3 years ago. I haven't dated anyone since. A couple of ONS but I am still working on myself. She hasn't dated anyone either. We spoke a month ago...I think I am going to make a move.


So she cheats when your relationship is in the dumps, you patch it up. work on each other, or rather she works on herself. You go off and have a pretty lengthy affair and destroy a family, hurt your ex and then dump her, and now you want her back. I get that relationships are hard, but boy, you just want to live a miserable life.

Sounds like you're remorseful at least. Not dating for 3 years is a long time. You should do something about that.
[Post New]05/07/2018 19:55
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do you give a sh*t about lying to your spouse, breaking your marriage vows, and being an all-around jack hole?


Gotta love all the judgement here.

No one chooses to have an affair as their first option but you do choose how to respond to those that say they have. To me those that jump to calling people jerks or a jack-hole whatever that maybe clearly have never been in a bad situation.

Once you find yourself in a sexless marriage that you can't leave for an overwhelming number of complicated reasons I really hope someone takes that moment in you life to make you feel even worse.
[Post New]05/08/2018 22:59
quote
cba
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:do you stay in the marriage because of kids? Im assuming you are are man. What would make your marriage better.



for the kids and because i haven't completely given up hope

you assume correctly

i wish i knew
[Post New]05/08/2018 23:00
quote
cba
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:Do you give a sh*t about lying to your spouse, breaking your marriage vows, and being an all-around jack hole?


yes
[Post New]05/08/2018 23:01
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cba
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:Are you a complete sleaze bag or just partial?


the jury's still out on that one...
[Post New]05/08/2018 23:02
quote
cba
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:How many STD’s have you had?


none
[Post New]05/08/2018 23:03
quote
cba
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:Does your spouse know about them? Does your spouse also have affairs?


yes

not to my knowledge
[Post New]05/08/2018 23:08
quote
cba
Member Offline
to all of the non-judgmental responses - thank you.

and to those who did judge - when your marriage goes through tough times i hope you make better choices than i did
[Post New]05/08/2018 23:18
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ex girlfriend had a fling over a week period. We were close to breaking up and had a bad relationship and we both were immature and bad communicators.
I found out, we broke up, got back together. Dated another 5 years and then I cheated on her by having an affair with a married coworker.

I can tell you that she regretted her fling and years later was disgusted with herself.
I’m disgusted with myself as well and regret what I did.
I know the woman chose to have an affair but I hurt that young family immensely.


I hope I learn from my actions. You have not. Go seek help


Did the guy confront you? I would have kicked her to the curb and then beaten you senseless.


I wasn't the first person she cheated with apparently, so I think her husband wasn't as angry with me. They had a 3 year old at the time. I did so out of revenge to my girlfriend at the time. I found myself wanting to inflict pain on her. The woman was a serial cheater i think, so she just wanted to fee lust and desire. It all blew up in my face when i ended it. She told my ex who told her husband.
My ex, by that time, had taken therapy and really worked on herself. I hurt her a lot with my actions since we were in a pretty good place in our relationship and were actually talking marriage. We were more open and vulnerable...well she was. My affair lasted a few months. We tried moving on, but she was too hurt. I ended up breaking it off with her .

This was 3 years ago. I haven't dated anyone since. A couple of ONS but I am still working on myself. She hasn't dated anyone either. We spoke a month ago...I think I am going to make a move.



Please, please, please, please, please..... leave her the F alone. Have you not already done enough damage? What you did was deeply abusive. You need to leave her alone and let her move on with her life. Don't stalk her. Let her go.

It's great that you worked on yourself but that doesn't mean it's good for HER to take a second bite at an old apple. If you truly care for her, let her go.
[Post New]05/08/2018 23:27
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How many STD’s have you had?


Nine and a half
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