Anonymous wrote:He had a controlling mother. So he got a controlling wife. Maybe he is finally seeking his independence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He had a controlling mother. So he got a controlling wife. Maybe he is finally seeking his independence.

OP.

Yes, this. That's what I think too. He says it's not true but I am the one who can control his mother so it must be true.

And I'm even the one who demanded that we go to counseling.

I'm okay with his mom seeing the kids every visit. She is very conservative. More like a woman who won't allow piercings or shaved heads or dyed hair. She won't even allow salt, butter, or sweets in her house. The only dessert that she allowed my husband to eat growing up was fresh fruit. She will demand that he shaves his face everyday and tuck in his shirts and insist that he cannot sleep in -- even on the weekends. She is a huge traveler with money so she'll be able to take the kids on exotic vacations but then that will be around our visitation schedule.

Here's the issue:. Can we convert the basement into a separate residence so he can live there during the separation and divorce? We can make a rule of no grandparents at the house, although I don't know how it'll be enforced.

Otherwise, to afford the house, we'll need to rent out the basement to a stranger and we'll miss out on the kids half the time. Am I being unrealistic?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He had a controlling mother. So he got a controlling wife. Maybe he is finally seeking his independence.

OP.

Yes, this. That's what I think too. He says it's not true but I am the one who can control his mother so it must be true.

And I'm even the one who demanded that we go to counseling.

I'm okay with his mom seeing the kids every visit. She is very conservative. More like a woman who won't allow piercings or shaved heads or dyed hair. She won't even allow salt, butter, or sweets in her house. The only dessert that she allowed my husband to eat growing up was fresh fruit. She will demand that he shaves his face everyday and tuck in his shirts and insist that he cannot sleep in -- even on the weekends. She is a huge traveler with money so she'll be able to take the kids on exotic vacations but then that will be around our visitation schedule.

Here's the issue:. Can we convert the basement into a separate residence so he can live there during the separation and divorce? We can make a rule of no grandparents at the house, although I don't know how it'll be enforced.

Otherwise, to afford the house, we'll need to rent out the basement to a stranger and we'll miss out on the kids half the time. Am I being unrealistic?

Anonymous wrote:Yes, divorce is hard.

You will part time parent for the rest of your kids lives. For at least, 50% of their lives your will not be there for. There will be holidays when you don't see your kids. This will be very hard on your kids as well.

I don't think what your DH said is all that unusual. Most married people go through a period like this and feel they made a mistake and/or married for a dumb reason and not love even if they really didn't.

Go to the counselor and get help with communication. Give it more time before you decide for sure on divorce.

froggymom wrote:I'm really sorry that you are going through this even though you say you are OK with it. Remember there are children involved in this that will probably not be OK with it. There's a lot of emotional stuff going on here, and I wouldn't try to sort it all out so quickly. You owe it to the yourself, husband and children to see the counselor and try to get to the bottom of the issues. Please just take a step back and give it the time it deserves before making any permanent decisions.

Anonymous wrote:By the way, ecstasy makes you love a barking dog. I highly doubt it indicated anything real he perceived. Your husband sounds like he is going through some sort of crisis. How old is he? We’re there other problems or things going on before this? Is there a major decision coming up, job change, move, did anyone die recently?

Anonymous wrote:By the way, ecstasy makes you love a barking dog. I highly doubt it indicated anything real he perceived. Your husband sounds like he is going through some sort of crisis. How old is he? We’re there other problems or things going on before this? Is there a major decision coming up, job change, move, did anyone die recently?

Anonymous wrote:Put some ecstasy in his pancakes.