Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce cheerleading is exactly what happens and I hate seeing people fall for it. There is no guarantee of being happier, ever, and co-parenting with a difficult ex is a hard road for everyone. Sure, some people end up better off, but some don't. What is for sure, though, is losing time with your kids, and financial sacrifice.

One of the most realistic posts I have ever seen here on the topic. For every, "I found a new man two years later and life is wonderful", there is a "remarried, same problems but person has a different name".

Divorce "cheer-leading" comes from those who have healed and learned from their missteps and to leave the past in the past.

Those who have not done this repeat the same cycle - which is far too often the case.

Anonymous wrote:

Divorce cheerleading comes from the wealthy, and those lucky enough to have remarried well and their kids happened to handle it well. Others are not so lucky and there is no guarantee.

It may be in the past for you, but it's present and future for your kids. Enjoy losing half your grandchild time!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce cheerleading is exactly what happens and I hate seeing people fall for it. There is no guarantee of being happier, ever, and co-parenting with a difficult ex is a hard road for everyone. Sure, some people end up better off, but some don't. What is for sure, though, is losing time with your kids, and financial sacrifice.

One of the most realistic posts I have ever seen here on the topic. For every, "I found a new man two years later and life is wonderful", there is a "remarried, same problems but person has a different name".

Divorce "cheer-leading" comes from those who have healed and learned from their missteps and to leave the past in the past.

Those who have not done this repeat the same cycle - which is far too often the case.

Divorce cheerleading comes from the wealthy, and those lucky enough to have remarried well and their kids happened to handle it well. Others are not so lucky and there is no guarantee.

It may be in the past for you, but it's present and future for your kids. Enjoy losing half your grandchild time!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This board is filled with divorce cheerleaders.

Go read a divorce blog to see what life is really like divorced. Headaches you can't imagine until you are there. Which isn't to say divorce isn't the answer, it may be the best of two really bad options.

Many marriages suffer greatly when the kids are little. Mine did. Lack of sleep and lack of sex will erode any marriage. Most of these marriages improve once the youngest hits kindergarden.

What help our marriage was getting away from each other some more, perhaps one would take both kids, the other could relax. More guys and girls nights to recharge (who needs to sit on the couch next to a brooding spouse). Also, going to bed mad, rather than fighting it out while exhausted. The next morning, with some rest, made big arguments look small.

We are in a much better place now.

+1.

The problem with "will my divorce be better for me" is that there is a natural comparison to compare your current situation to pre-marriage. It's totally unrealistic.

Pre-marriage, the dating pool was enormous, almost limitless, no one had real "baggage." Post-divorce, the singles market is totally, completely, different. Add on to the fact the split custody, the hit to finances, the holidays without the kids, the total loss of control over what the kids do when they are with your ex. Also, some kids handle divorce well, others don't and it's not always easy to predict which way it will go. A lot of that depends on how your ex responds to the divorce. No matter how mature you are, if your ex is determined to blow it all up, they can ruin the kids and your relationship with them in the process.