DH decided at 5 to go to HH last minute
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Anonymous
OP made no mention of this being a habit . She also hasn't mentioned children. |
Anonymous
Let's be real OP waited 4 hours to decide to eat. She's not cut out to handle bedtime on her own. I wonder if this is the same poster who needed her husband to console her over a dress, and who wakes her husband up to entertain her when she can't sleep at night. If it is I strongly suggest counseling the infantile behavior comes from someplace, and she needs help . |
Anonymous
Wish I had married you! My W complained for years even if I was just working late at the office. |
Anonymous
Happy hour last as long as you are away from the wacko at home. |
Anonymous
Just not here, unless you are a masochist. 
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Anonymous
Well, at least she likes you, there is that. |
Anonymous
+ 1 Movie night, an e-book, and wine? Yes, please. Much better thank cooking a meal the kids will pick over and clean everything before plopping on the toilet stool for a break from the madness. I see no need for frustration around this. Pizza night, and the kids can FaceTime with their friends while I Pinterest organization, storage, and meal ideas. |
Anonymous
I am the OP of the above example. For what its worth, I am the wife, and I am the one who goes to HH--DH works from home, or in another city. I find it interesting how you read into this situation. First--"ask for agreement": I dont feel like asking my spouse if he minds if I make a last minute plan is anything but reasonable--we have 2 young kids, so me just making an announcement at the last moment that I'm not coming home seems rude. That being said, we give each other a lot of space, so my asking is generally a courtesy. As is his. But we check in because maybe I've forgotten that we were going to do X or he wanted to go over to a friend's to watch the game. So, yeah, I dont make unilateral decisions that require my husband to be the sole caregiver for the kids without checking in first. Second: asking whether I will be home for dinner is not establishing a curfew. That would be "Please be home by X" not "should I wait to have dinner with you?" He/I ask that because we actually enjoy a quiet late meal together sometimes--usually we eat as a family, but if one of us is out, often the other spouse will wait up. Because its a nice itme to catch up. Call/text en route home: we do this if one of us is later than expected and there's alcohol involved. If I said I was going to be home around 8 and its 9:30, my husband would be worried. The thoughtful thing to do is text. But, at the end of the day, it does not matter what other people think of this. It works for us--it is not imposed solely by one of us, but the way that we have worked out this situation. Both of us have a lot of freedom--DH is gone one week out of three in the city we used to live in and thus sees friends and goes out all the time and obviously as he's on travel he does not need to check in with dinner, etc. I go out every couple weeks with friends or coworkers, and he always encourages and is happy to accomodate. But I return that supportive attitude with clear communication, not unilateral actions. ts going to be an early night or I actually *want* to have dinner with my spouse |
Anonymous
Everyone in a relationship with another human being must do this. I would even do this if I was visiting a friend and decided to stay out late at HH one night. |
Anonymous
A grown adult does not need a g--d--- curfew. |
Anonymous
| I don't see how "should I wait for you for dinner?' is setting a curfew. Maybe the reason there are so many shitty marriages on DCUM.is that no one communicates with each other. |
TwistdMike
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I happily entertain my wife when she can't sleep, poor man's sleeping pill |