Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why you invited them in the first place.
But I would ditch this friendship.

Because she said that her church has a seder, and she found it interesting. I thought she was indicating that she'd enjoy experiencing a Jewish, traditional Seder. (Of course, she was free to turn the invitation down.)

Invitation to a Seder is an honor to the guests and in keeping with the tradition of inviting others into your home to share that event. It's not an attempt to proselytize. Hounding you about church is not the same thing as being invited to a Seder. And his bringing up your beliefs vs his RIGHT AFTER attending a Seder, one of the most special events on the Jewish calendar, is tacky and insensitive. If your friend doesn't get why you're upset, andcthry cant leave the religion thing alone, then is drop the friendship. They seem unable to accept you for who you are.

I don't know much about the Jewish tradition and Sedar but generally OP (and anyone else reading this), I think inviting other people, PARTICULARLY very religious christians to a non-christian religious event is kind of just asking for trouble if you aren't interested in discussing theology. There's a reason people say to leave religion and politics off the table!

Totally agree with this poster and I'm Jewish!

Anonymous wrote:We've had a nun and priest at our seder in the past and they loved it and never once made us uncomfortable. They wanted to experiment it and were both grounded in their religion and respected our love for ours. I think the fact that your friend and her husband did that is completely disrespectful. I would just let the friendship fizzle. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

1) I am not intolerant of other perspectives. That's why I have friends of all religions - Christian, Muslim, Hindu, and plenty of atheists, too. To each his own, I say, as long as they are respectful of others' beliefs.

2) And YOU don't think he disparaged my religion? I invited him to one of the most important Jewish ceremonies of the year, and five minutes after it's over.....he basically says that if I don't abandon the religion he just observed, I will go to Hell. He didn't say, as another poster remarked, "hey, thanks for a lovely evening. Would you be interested in coming to one of my church services?" I would have taken that as reciprocity (in his mind). But he didn't start out that way....he started out by letting me know that he thinks I'm destined for Hell. Nice.

3) The reason I say "in his mind" (in #2 above), is because the invitation isn't really an equal type of thing. When a Christian goes to a Seder, there is nothing there that runs counter to his beliefs. In fact, you could say he's getting closer to Jesus by experiencing one of his religious traditions. But when a Jew goes to a church, he DOES hear a lot that completely negates his religious beliefs.

4) And finally, he did more than simply extend an invitation to "reach out" to me. He badgered me about it. I told him "I appreciate it, but I don't think it's for me" nicely, and then he came back a second time, and I told him "no" again, and then a third....practically DEMANDING I go.

Love your reasoning; which is in essence: his religion and my religion are not equivalent because his offends me by mine does not offend him.

Do you really not see the absurdity of your argument? How do you know what does or does not offend him? What gives you the right to define his experience? You can no more state his beliefs for him as he can for you. By assuming you can, you have in effect, betrayed your intolerance.

I don't think the OP is intolerant. Jews do not believe that salvation lies through accepting Jesus Christ as their lord and savior, full stop. Evangelicals believe that everyone who is not "saved" by accepting Jesus Christ as their lord and savior is going to hell, full stop. Jews do not accept the New Testament, whereas Evangelicalism is based mostly on the NT. It's a one-way compatibility thing. It's not dissimilar to the idea that polytheistic religions do not have too much trouble integrating monotheistic ones because there is usually space for another deity, while monotheistic religions are not able to entertain the idea of multiple deities.

His first comments to the OP may have been poorly phrased. Growing up around a lot of Evangelicals, I learned that when they ask you if you know you're going to hell or if you want to avoid going to hell, they are not being rude and it should not be taken personally. That's a tenant of their religion and not said out of malice. However, when the OP politely declined his invitation and he continued to push her, he crossed the line between potential poor phrasing and actual disrespect. It was extra disrespectful because it was Passover, but his persistence would have been disrespectful if he'd been inviting her to a baseball game and continued to push after she declined.

The OP doesn't have to go to his church, where many, many more people will try to "save" her, simply to demonstrate her tolerance. If she's not interested, she can politely decline.

OP here, and thank you for explaining this to (some of) the posters, who don't get the differnce between being invited to someone's holiday celebration (I certainly go to Christmas parties!) and having someone demand, repeatedly, you go to their service as the first step in conversion. Throw in the explicit expression that you're doomed to hell otherwise, and it's beyond disrepectful.

Anonymous wrote:I had a coworker that was Muslim. He liked to talk religion to everyone in the Office during lunch. One day he gave a few of us copies of the Koran. I figured I'd return the favor and gave him a Bible. He took it from me in the doorway of his Office and then said that the book was considered blasphemous and dropped it into the waste basket next to his door. I was astounded at his behavior. I cut ties with him.

You've reaction to his Offer after you opened the religion door in the relationship reminds me of him.

I cut ties with him. Maybe your friends should cut ties with you too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a coworker that was Muslim. He liked to talk religion to everyone in the Office during lunch. One day he gave a few of us copies of the Koran. I figured I'd return the favor and gave him a Bible. He took it from me in the doorway of his Office and then said that the book was considered blasphemous and dropped it into the waste basket next to his door. I was astounded at his behavior. I cut ties with him.

You've reaction to his Offer after you opened the religion door in the relationship reminds me of him.

I cut ties with him. Maybe your friends should cut ties with you too.

+1 I don't understand the double standard. Truth stands when all else has fallen. Why be so fearful about hearing another's understanding?!
This isn't the way this works. This isn't the way any of this works.... : )

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you mom or aunt yell at your friend about something not being similar to Christian practice? Just wondering.

Of course not! My family was warm and welcoming.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you mom or aunt yell at your friend about something not being similar to Christian practice? Just wondering.

Of course not! My family was warm and welcoming.

Just asking because there is another thread about that going on right now! Funny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you mom or aunt yell at your friend about something not being similar to Christian practice? Just wondering.

Of course not! My family was warm and welcoming.

Just asking because there is another thread about that going on right now! Funny.

Really? In the Relationship forum? What's it titled?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you mom or aunt yell at your friend about something not being similar to Christian practice? Just wondering.

Of course not! My family was warm and welcoming.

Just asking because there is another thread about that going on right now! Funny.

Really? In the Relationship forum? What's it titled?

It is on Off Topic thread.
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/634644.page[url]

Anonymous wrote:I agree I don't know why you invited prostelytizers to a religious event, it puts the topic on the menu so to speak.

I think most of this depends on how close you are with the wife, how long you've been friends, if she does this when its just the two of you. If the answers there are not very, not very long and yes then definitely sever. If you can't hang out with her without her husband than yes. If she's otherwise normal and this only comes up when the husband is around I might relegate her to acquaintance.