In-laws didn't come to daughters 1st birthday
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Anonymous
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My daughters birthday party was this past weekend and I learned last Wednesday my in laws weren't coming. The party had been planned for 8 weeks and I even consulted with everyone before scheduling because it was a holiday weekend.
They didn't even call me to say anything. His mom spoke to my husband. Now they are generally very good grandparents and make an effort to see the kids (they live in the city next to us) when they can and play with them and help us around the house too. But not coming to your granddaughters 1st birthday because seems really messed up. For me, holidays and birthdays are really special (and I want them to be special to our kids). It's not about gifts, it's about celebrating with those you love and making them feel important. They had to move out of their house by the end of the month and because my MIL is gone during the week watching her other granddaughter, her time to get ready to move was limited. But our party was 3 hours and they couldn't even show up for 30 minutes? Really you could only find a mover on Saturday? And the end of he month was a self-imposed deadline? It really changes my opinion about them and their decision making. You've known the party was happening for months and said you were coming. It highlights a much bigger issue for me that they are horrible planners and we will have to pay the price in the end. Their move is a good decision but a short term solution to a much larger issue we need to address with them. It's frustrating because I know they will be at our nieces party in 3 months and it pisses me off that no one but me seems to give a F! It in no way effected the day or the time with our guests but just felt wrong that they weren't there. Am I completely off base here? Do i just ignore it and not let them know it wasn't okay? I don't want to start an argument but I do want them to know it was not okay and my husband won't do that. |
Anonymous
| They were moving which is super stressful. Sorry you're mad but shit happens. |
Anonymous
Completely agree. |
Anonymous
| Yes, you are off base. They are moving. That's stressful and time consuming. While it's odd is that they didn't mention their move when you scheduled the party maybe they underestimated the work involved in the move. |
Anonymous
| It's a first birthday party. It seems that no one gives a F because no one gives a F. Certainly the birthday girl doesn't. |
Anonymous
| They're generally very good grandparents, by your admission. So, let this one slide. It's a 1st birthday party. We didn't even have a 1st birthday party. |
Anonymous
| OP, the world doesn't stop for birthday parties. If they are otherwise good grand parents, let this go. Moving is stressful and it's hard to predict if things will go smoothly or not. |
Anonymous
| OP here - but it's her first and probably only birthday where our family will come together. Sure she won't remember it but she'll have photos of everyone celebrating her except her grandparents. |
Anonymous
| And it was a choice they made to move on Saturday vs Sunday. It's just a bad choice in my opinion. Especially when it was a CHOICE not something they had to do. |
Anonymous
So you tell DD when she grows up that her grandparents had a very busy weekend and were unable to make it. She will understand. You can have a 2nd "first birthday party" any time. You are way, way overthinking and over-dramatizing this OP. |
MikeL
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BFD. The world doesn't revolve around you. |
Anonymous
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Forget it. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and a second chance. By your description they are great people, so they deserve a break.
Btw, some of your complaints are silly. Why would your mil need to call you, if she called your husband? Why should they arrange a move around YOUR child's birthday? They also have their other grandkids birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and who knows what else to work around. It bothers me when my flaky FIL misses things. I'm not saying you don't have a right to be irritated. But you will cause a lifelong family rift if you can't get over this. |
Anonymous
| Birthday parties are not a big deal to me, I don't celebrate my own birthday ever. They were moving, she spoke to your DH,why does she have to talk to you? When ILS talk to their SILs there is all kind of outrage here as to why don't they just talk to their own son, but always demand stuff and blame DIL, now they spoke to him and it is still wrong. She is one year old. As they sound like good grandparents they will most likely show up with a present at another time, rather than taking time off during a move. The sense of entitlement here just reeks. |
Anonymous
And you are making the much worse CHOICE to make a big deal about this and hold a grudge. |
Anonymous
But she'll have tons of photos of them fawning over her the rest of the year. It will be fine, UNLESS you try to convince your daughter otherwise. |